Is it cruel to leave a 2 year old to cry?

[appleandplum]

My dt girls are now 2 and never been very good sleeps, one worse than the other. They tend to wake for dummy then go back to sleep ok but sometimes like tonight one of them is shouting to be up and wants to come into bed with me. I have been in several times, given calpol in case of teeth and am leaving her to literally scream, this latest time its been 15 mins and still crying.
I also have an 8 wk old whom i'm trying to feed to get to sleep so cant go in any more. Dh is away with work, mil is here but her going in was making her worse. She does this when dh is here so is nothing to do with unsettled etc.
Am i being cruel leaving her? If i get her up she won't sleep and this sets off another bad patch of her expecting to be got up.

What should i do?

I was mean I left my Dt's to cry unti they worked out bed time was bedtime. If they got up in the night they come in to us. Until the bed gets full or they wriggle too much then it's back to their bed.

Keep going until you get the routine you want. You are brilliant. Also try posting in mutiple births section as many twin mums have given me great advice.

Hi appleandplum,
You could still go in to her while she is crying and learning to settle herself, just make sure what you do when you go in is boring and repetitive! Ideally choose a phrase, for example lay them back down, place your hand on their tummies or backs and say 'it's sleepy time now, time to go to sleep' in a calm, firm but not cross voice before leaving the room. You could be completely random in your timings (for example 2,3,8,4,10 minutes etc) and only go in if her cry is loud and persistent rather than a moan as she tries to settle to sleep. I have used this technique with many of my clients (I am a sleep consultant) and it always works. If, however, you do feel uncomfortable leaving them to cry you could try a more interventionist approach, though their will always be some tears!
Also, if they are waking for their dummies have you tried a 'sleepytot' to fix the dummy to so it is easy to find?
Good luck, Nicola Watson

Thanks fruitcake and css, i have only just spotted your replies so thk you for your help.