Just tried the supernanny bedtime routine with my 20month ds

[BusyBee86]

My ds is 20months and from about 6months I have always had to help him to sleep. ATM I have to lay beside him (in his single bed) and he holds my hair then falls asleep after around 10/15mins. But then he wakes in night when I'm not there so have to keep going back in with him. I get so tired I usually just end up staying in with him as its easier!
But now I would really like for him to fall asleep on his own in the hope that it will stop the night wakenings!

I have heard lots about the supernanny approach, bedtime routine, say goodnight given kiss and cuddle. Then when they get out of bed put them back with its bedtime now. Then everytime after put them back with no eye contact and no talking.

I tried this out tonight and it was awful :( lots of screaming and I gave up after 35mins. He fell asleep about 2mins after I layed beside him! I feel awful now, I was determined to do this. But I feel so bad because I caused all that upset for poor ds and then gave up so have got no further!

Has anyone else tried this and succeeded?
I feel it would be much easier if he was still in a cot as he wouldn't be able to get out. But I can't put him back in one now as he hasn't been in his cot since he was about 12months! He hated the cot!

Any advice would be much appreciated :)

Sorry for rambling on!!

It might be a bit of a shock to him to go from you lying with him to you leaving. Have you tried something a bit more gradual - like first sitting on his bed til he falls asleep, then sitting in a chair next to his bed, then by the door, then outside the door etc.

the stay in bed routine is horrendous for a child that isn't used to just being left alone in bed. i agree, try something more gradual.

35 mins is nothing for the supernanny routine, it can go for hours if your ds is used to being laid beside. like pp said you need to do it gradually

I was going to say exactly the same as Rita. That's how I did it with my DS and it worked. Sat next to the bed for a couple of nights, then on the floor by the door, then outside the door with the door open. Made sure I wasn't actually looking at him or interacting, but that he knew I was there. Once he was happy with this I was able to leave him and just say goodnight. I would usually say "I'm just going to sort out the washing and I'll be back to check on you." He would always be asleep when I came back for a peek.

Yes it prob was a shock for him as have never done that before. I've tried just sitting in his room but he won't stay in bed he won't even lay down if I'm not in with him. Not sure what else to do. Do you think if I carried on getting him to sleep and going in with him it will be easier to stop that when he is older? When he understands more? Or should I Try something else now?

Thank you for all your replies. When you started my sitting on the floor beside them would they stay in their bed or did you keep having to put them back?

I would hold his hand or put your hand on his back for the first couple of nights and then take it away and just sit. You could read a story to get him relaxed and used to you sitting there.

what has worked with my dds when trying to get them to sleep has been the gradual thing, but also to use a music box. dd2 listens to somewhere over the rainbow and is asleep before its over now, but at first I used to play it and hold her hand. play it four or five times until she finally fell asleep but the introduction of something new in that transition has helped.

sometimes on the show, they've done it for over an hour!

you've got to persevere if you're going to do it.

did you do the cuddly story, low lights etc?