Stopping cosleeping at 12 months?

[k2togm1]

DS is 12 months and we've always colslept. He goes to sleep bfing and then always wakes up an hour later, and then during the night several times and always goes back to sleep with the breast. I don't see how to stop this if I am just there next to him, and to be honest I am getting tired of this dependence which means I can never do anything in the evening even if he is in bed.
So the question is, how do we move to not cosleeping?

There are 2 ways if doing it! I had this experience with my ds now nearly 14! He was 15 months and I was 3 mo pg with dd. I tried the kind way but really it was a nightmare. In the end I went cold turkey and stopped bf altogether at the same time as stopping cosleeping. He wouldn't ever sleep in a cot so went straight into his own double bed. In turn with all my children I gave them there last bf on their first birthday. I think I would have fed them forever otherwise. I had to give myself a limit and decide they were growing up

Thank you 5babyangles, I cannot bring myself to do it cold turkey just yet... and neither we are ready to stop bfing altoghether really, it's just that waking at about an hour into sleep in the evening that kills me, I don't even mind the wriggling and half asleep feeding that goes on from about 3am.

We've kind of decided that he's going to stay in the bed...but I am moving to the spare room! (where dh has been for the past 13 months ). If half way through the night I have to go to the bed that's fine, but let's see if he can stay asleep on his own for longer if i am not there. And for the bfing, i am going to try this

It is hard, we tried just about everything with ds1. When dd was born I went into one room with her and my then husband went into the other with ds! He was 2 before he would sleep on his own. It was a ridiculous situation! However it's not forever. It might feel like it but when they're all grown up and bring their gf home you'll wish they were still tucked up in bed with you. I never minded the broken sleep and the permanent dead arm either but did miss a proper cuddle. I'm very lucky as my ds6mo pretty much sleeps through the night in his own cot in his own room and am still bf. I did cry the first night I put him on his own, he was only 3mo but we were disturbing his sleep by going to bed late or alarms etc. V occasionally he wakes for a night feed and I get to enjoy a snuggle. Do what's right for you!

we have always co-slept but what we do is to have a toddler bed next to our bed, tis a futon so its the same height as the toddler bed and as they got older we would start them off at the beginning of the night in the toddler bed, they would inevitably crawl up and into our bed at some point in the night but it gave them the idea that they had their own bed for sleeping in.

with regards to the night feeding, i stopped gradually i would feed till sleepy and then shushh/pat them until asleep and my ds2 did cry at first but i laid with him and comforted him, just NO boob! and he went to sleep, to begin with they would then sleep from say 7:30=8pm to midnight without a feed adn then that stretched longer and longer until they wetn through till 6amish, in the night i would try to just pat them and shush them, i could usually tell quite quickly if it was giong to work or if they would need a feed.

it wasnt a quick fix, but it wored gradually and wasnt too painful! :)

Thanks 5babyangels, I don't mind the cosleeping, to be honest I thought I'd need to stop cosleeping if i wanted to stop the constant bf durign the night, but it seens not!

We are setting up like 5madthings, so getting a single bed to go next to ours, hopefully it will work. I just don't quite know how to refuse the boob if i am just there! he tends to just grab it iyswim!

Glad things worked for you both.

We are in the same position, but things are getting better since we started using some techniques from ncss. Can highly recommend it. My DS has gone from waking hourly (and needing the boob to settle) to waking 2hourly, and then waking twice, and then just waking once (for a full feed). We are still co sleeping and bf. I am pg at the moment, and the sleep situation was drivingme nuts. I was even willing to consider controlled crying (we tried once a few months back and was a complete disaster). The two techniques from ncss that we used was putting him down sleepy rather than asleep, and the 'pantley pull off'. I didn't believe it would work tbh as seemed too simple, and thought me being next to him would be too much temptation and he would want to continue snacking all night, but amazingly it has worked. Now if he wakes and it's less than 4 hours since his last feed,I give him to DH to settle and refuse to feed him.

Oh and we also used a white noise ap- relax melodies. There's a humming and underwater option which sounds very pleasant. Sends me straight off to sleep as well!