Do you have a sleep refuser?

[AllBellyandBoobs]

Day time as well as night?

My dd is almost 1 and has never been easy to get to sleep. We go through periods where she gets quite good at night sleep and then a growth spurt hits or new teeth appear or she learns a new skill and then we start right back at the beginning. I'm sure she's chronically overtired, she usually has a decent amount of sleep during the day but only takes those nap once she is already exhausted and only when i actively do something to make it happen. I've tried to put her in her cot but that just results in her becoming hysterical.

Anyway, no point to this really other than to get it off my chest. I dream of the day she says 'mummy, I'm tired, can i go for a sleep?'. It will happen, one day, it really will

Hate to break it to you, but ds was a sleep refuser. THe number of battles I had with him over naps as a a baby was unreal.

We managed at night through sheer hard work and remembering that we would win.

He's 2.5 now and has not 'gone' for a nap for at least a year. He can fall asleep in the car or, on occasion, on the sofa, but you can never 'put' him to bed. I don't think he's ever going to ask to go for a nap, but as long as he's getting 11/12 hours at night, that's the way it is. He's also an an early riser and had a horribel 4.30/5 period last summer...

Yeah, I have one of them as well. DS will literally claw his eyes out with sleep, and rub them till they're raw but just refuses to go to bed (he's 13 months). I always use to try and put him to sleep every 2-3 hours when he was small (and before he got overtired) but no such luck. I've even observed him sleeping, and just as his eyelids get droopy, he forces them open again. It's like he HAS to stay awake cos there's so much excitement around (even though it's just me and him at home during the day whilst DH is at work).. My friends have good sleeping toddlers, and am really jealous!

Astronaut - Boo!! I imagine my dd will be the same in all honesty but i like to dream, it keeps me sane when i'm doing nap battles yet again. At least you get the full night, i imagine that must make it bearable? Often the reason i get so wound up with no nap is because i want one myself after disturbed nights.

Ebmummy - sounds exactly like mine. She even starts doing things that usually make me laugh as though she's saying 'look mummy, there is so much fun to be had, sleep is for losers.'

I'm always amazed and jealous when friends just put their children to bed at lunchtime and then wake them 2 hours later.

You have my sympathy. DD will be 3 in June. I have a list of all the nights she has slept through during her lifetime on the kitchen noticeboard to remind me that she can do it - all 29 of them. A good night for eg last night would be when she's only up 3 times; she's up for the day by just after half 5. At least this time next week that will be half 6 because of the clock change. [Thank fuck emoticon] DD has point blank refused to take daytime naps since last September - even at the creche where peer pressure usually rules and ALL of the others her age sleep for anything up to 2 hours. This applies even when she's walking round with her eyes rolled back in her head she's so knackered.

Only advice is to buy shares in a coffee company. Or win a Nobel prize for the invention of caffeine patches......

That sounds tough going. It's weird isn't it? I mean they obviously get tired and we do all the things that should help them to fall asleep so what stops them?

I have at least realised that actually there is nothing i can really do about it which is better than the previous state of thinking i must be doing everything wrong.

My ds3 is now 11 he never needs a lot of sleep,he has an active lifestyle and still never feels tired.....when he was a baby he slept 3 hours out of 24 for the first 3 years that includes naps ......I have 2 older ds who have been 'good' sleepers.

The irony of it is is that as a nursery nurse before children I used to advise parents on sleep routines 'all children need sleep,its finding the routine that suits them'.....how wrong was I?

I regularly had to wrestle DS to sleep and was very anal about it but now at 2.5, he still takes a lunch time nap with only a little persuading. Dd, 3 months, is similar so I'll be having the same battles

On the plus side, dd (4 months) is happy to go down for a nap morning and afternoon, with little fuss. Now, granted, she could change soon and drastically, but on the brihgt side -at least you're having it harder forst time round!

Yes, have every sympathy with you. Ds was a chronic sleep refuser and everyone told me it was because he was intelligent.

Now he's 8, doing very well at school and actually asks to go to bed when he's tired.

There is a light. In the meantime have a read of this and this a few of these and some .

It will get better though.

Yes, I have a sleep refuser. She's 15! Always been the same. I have even heard her getting in to bed as I'm getting up for work

Astronaut - first and last!! I love my dd very much but my God, people weren't exaggerating when they said being a parent was hard work. Maybe if she was a champion sleeper i would possibly consider another but i honestly don't think i could do this again! DH and I were remembering the other day how we used to have at least 9 hours sleep a night. Bliss.

Joyful - High needs sounds about right, she breast fed constantly for the first five months and I still breast feed her now after she flat refused a bottle. I carried her in a sling for the first 6 months as it was the best way to get her to sleep and now we co-sleep for the majority of the night.

It's a good job she's cute.

Thank you to everyone else as well, always helps to know you're not alone and that things get better, even if it's just how you cope with problems that improves.

So pleased to find this thread as I just arrived on Sleep after my 4 1/2 month old just cried through her nap time. She has been getting bad at napping for a while now, and its getting worse.

Should I give up worrying? Sounds like it isn't uncommon for babies to refuse sleep. She's in her bouncer now happy as anything patiently waiting for her food. (ok, just yawned), but seems fine.

All of you with older babies who sleep refuse, would you have done anything differently, or is it just the way it is??

My LO is just coming up to 1 so I'm no expert on this. However I already wish that i hadn't (and didn't still) let myself get wound up by her lack of sleep. When she was your dd's age I would pop her in her sling and dance around with her which would get her to sleep.

I think the only thing you can do is give them the opportunity to sleep at regular intervals and try not to stress about how much sleep someone else's baby is having and how willing they are to take it.

I don't always follow that advice myself though!

Thanks AllBelly! I love the image of dancing around with baby in the sling :) I spend ages pacing up and down with her with the radio on static so loud I end up with a head ache just to relax her.

Its all so new each day - thanks for the advice not to stress to much. I will try and remember!!

One thing that worked (after a fashion) with ds, was to record myself 'shushhing' and to play that to him. Definitely used to calm him.