how to stop during the night breast feeds but continuing to put to sleep on breast?

[muffsy]

hi i want to stop breastfeeding my 17 mnth baby during the night but would love to still put her to sleep with a feed. she sleeps about 9 hrs every night but is up 3 or more times every night and only goes back to sleep with breast. she refuses a dummy and still shares a room with us which i want to continue. has anyone successfully done this or am i giving mixed messages? i know she must learn to get to sleep by herself at some stage but i really enjoy nursing her to sleep if only she could stay asleep.

My DD is 18 months and we have, not that long ago followed Jay Gordon's suggestion here we don't co-sleep, well not often, but followed the pattern ifyswim and it worked a treat. Oh ok 18month sleep regression and molars has messed it up a bit, but still much better than it was and I know we can follow this again and it will be fine!

We had stopped co-sleeping by the time that we night-weaned DS, but what worked for us was DH settling DS when he woke up instead of me. He was so used to me feeding him at night that it made sense for us to try a complete change of routine instead.

He now sleeps through more often than not, but we have had the odd 'hiccup' - the worst was the 18 month sleep regression. It felt like all that hard work had gone out the window, but eventually it all settled again :)

Agree with getting DH to do a few nights worth of resettling to night wean - worked for us (after a few stalled attempts) when DS was about 13 mos. What really helped though in terms of DS sleeping a solid 10-11 hrs without needing to be resettled at all was stopping feeding to sleep - for naps as well as bedtime. Getting DH and my mum to do a few days worth of putting down without BF got us to that point - and we only did it when we felt he was ready at about 14 mos. I do think that expecting him to resettle without a boob overnight but offering it for daytime sleep and bedtime could be a bit of a mixed message, although obviously every LO is different. At first I did miss the snuggly, quiet bedtime BF but let it go when I saw he was happy with a cuddle at the end of his bedtime routine, and the bedtime BF was as much for me as for him :) I still BF when he wakes in the AM and we both enjoy it very much. Good luck.

was going to suggest same as clarejane. I think whilst you continue to feed to sleep at naps & especially BT, then she is going to keep waking at night wanting a feed. If you consider it from her perspective, she has learned that the way you go to sleep is with booby & a snuggle. So if she wakes in the night, she doesn't know how else to put herself back to sleep except with booby - hence why you get the wakeups & the feeds. All babies wake in the night, its just that those who know how to settle independently will roll over & go back to sleep, and those who don't will want mama's help to go back off IYSWIM?

Feeding cups of dillite sugar free squash
She's 11 she still won't drink water.

It's the one down side of eternally BFing, all drinks have to be sweet.

Seriously, put her in her own room and get DH to go into her in the night.

DD2 probably feed to sleep sometimes till she was 5, but she slept in her own room from 6 months old. Gradually spending less and less time sneaking in for a feed.

I can't remember when she slept through, but she probably only came in once a night from being quite small.

As I said she eventually dropped that feed for a cup of squash and I wished I'd just given her water.

DD2 loved BF and instinctively knew not to be a pain. From very young she understood not to fidget if co-sleeping and go back to her cot if she was keeping us awake.

Not much help I'm afraid OP, beyond the fact that older babies understand a lot more than we give them credit for.

Still havent braved any change in routine yet due to a few reasons but mainly I havent had the time to properly read Jay Gordon. It sounds like it is something I will def try. Hadnt even heard of him!

EMSKABOO Thankyou so much. I think you might have found a way that I am happy with. Great that it worked for you.

CLAREJANE AND OMANA Youve just confirmed what I thought and I would be sending mixed messages but going to try to comfort during night myself first and if that doesnt work bring DH on. Really gives courage to hear success stories.

STARTAIL Def dont want DS in own room yet. No boobs, learning to sleep by herself and new room bit too much for her and me to handle at once.

I can understand that.
Mine both spent a reasonable chunk of the night in their own rooms from 6 months old because we kept each other awake. DD1, particularly, was a massive fidget.

Anyway I couldn't get the cot in our room so they had to move when they out grew the crib.