I would like to resign

[Lamin]

I've had it being ds's mum and would like to resign to do something I am good at. Maybe heading up the non-sleeping baby store?

I can't bear another night going to bed thinking tonight he might just sleep through only to be sorely disappointed. Every time I think I have got it cracked something happens like he gets tummy bug, or cold or ear infection and all goes tits up again. I have tried everything - even employed the lovely gina ford to advise me and we have even foxed her I think.

So there - big fat moan for a horrid wet Sunday, am at home on my own as dh had to go to work and feeling v sorry for myself.

Lamin, my dd didn't respond to cc until she was 8 months. I tried it at 6 months but no joy. I think that's just babies for you! Must say I found teething more of a nightmare than the lack of sleep

Why's that CD?

Well I actually quite liked getting up for dd in the night, she was all cute and smiley and we had fun. Except when she was/is teething. Makes her grizzly in the day which I hate

my ds would just cry to be fed, feed (or suck) for ages, poo, have to change nappy, by which time he would be awake for literally hours sometimes. So I'd be up at say 12, 2, 4 and 6 and sometimes he would be awake for anything up to two hours in the night - sometimes he'd have two, two-hour stretches of wakefulness. I just never got any sleep. And he always woke me at the deepest part of sleep so I'd feel physically sick when he woke me. If it wasn't for dh doing shifts then I think we'd have both gone mad. CD how did you cope with this level of sleep deprivation??? As I say, it is the main reason we find it hard to contemplate another baby.

If we didn't feed or cuddle he'd cry and cry and cry. We tried CC at six months and he cried without stopping or diminishing for three hours before I gave in. Hideous.
I remember a friend saying to me, Oh, it's ok when they wake in the night because you just feed them for ten minutes, put them down asleep and go back to sleep...and I used to think "You clearly don't know my ds" !

She doesn't sound like she was as wakeful in the night as your ds Aloha! As far as I can remember she was generally in bed at 7ish, woke at 11ish for a feed and was sometimes awake for an hour or so, then woke at 3 or 4 but usually not for long and then sometimes again at 6 but sometimes not till 7 or 8. I really don't know how I coped, I just did. Used to give in and climb into the single bed in her bedroom quite often, but didn't bring her into our bed. She would then sleep with me until I woke up. From 8 months when we did cc properly she has been really good except when ill. And yes she does revert to waking again and then I do cc again and it works in one night.

My dh and I used to meet on the landing to swap shifts, hair standing on end, practically sobbing with exhaustion, and hand the baby over like an unexploded bomb! Some nights the longest stretch of sleep was 20minutes...oh, happy memories...not!

nightmare! If it's any consolation I bet the next one will be much easier. I think it would be unusual to have two that bad

Aloha - sounds like a nightmare but it kind of makes me a feel a bit better that you got it sorted in the end. I hate the fact that I don't seem to be able to console him and when he wakes he stays awake for up to two hours - I don't know anyone else whose baby does that!

I know it will end one day - when he is about 10 probably ... At least my dh helps me now - he was hopeless when ds was newborn.

Out of interest aloha - when you did cc at 8months how long did it take to work?

last night was a nightmare - woke at 8, awake 12 till 1.30am then 3.30-4.30 then wide awake at 6.30

What was Gina Fords advice for you?

She was good - helped me get his food amounts right so he stopped waking up hungry, and helped me eliminate wakings from being on his tummy and not being able to roll back (told me to put him down for naps on tummy so he got used to it) and all was solved for about a week. Then he got diorrhea and voms so disturbed sleep, managed to get back on track for a while, then he got really nasty throat and chest lurgy and we still have dregs of that going on. She can't advise when they are ill as she isn't medically qualified. Has been v sweet and supportive though - believe it or not! We are going to start talking again next week when he should be totally better.

Am sitting looking at a bottle of Medised at the moment wondering whether to try it - DH says we cant drug him to sleep!

L

Then DH can do ALL the night stuff. And you can wear heavy duty ear plugs.

Oh Lamin give yourself a break - any way you may find Medised might not work - then dh can have the moral high ground!!

Lamin, believe me, I do sympathise. I have been there and your ds sounds EXACTLY like mine as a baby - particularly those agonising hours when he won't sleep. I did everything including taking him into bed with us but he wouldn't ever sleep there (still won't). But yes, it is all fine now and he's two. At 7months-ish we finally cut out all night feeds (very imp to do this first IMO) and then we did cc and it worked like a dream. Longest period of crying was 20minutes and this was crying to whinging, rather than full-on screaming like before. Then he woke and cried for ten mins and again and then the same the next night and then the nightmare was over and he started sleeping through. He now sleeps 11hours at night and around 2hours in the afternoon (would often sleep longer but I don't let him...usually). Of course he sometimes wakes if he's ill, but that doesn't seem to put him off course with his sleeping any more. I don't know what to say, except keep him awake during the day except at naptime - 45 minutes two hours after waking and a couple of hours at lunchtime - and encourage him to be as alert as possible. Don't let illness put you off too much - kids are always ill! And why on earth not try the Medised. It's just a mild painkiller and decongestant for babies, it's not heroin!! The decongestant part might well help him breathe more easily. Good luck. I know how hard it is. Everything will seem brighter and better once your ds starts to sleep.

Tried medised last night and he slept till 4am cried for about 20mins (i went in once) and then went back to sleep till 7am - feel so much better. Am so glad you all told me to do it! Maybe it will have broken his habit?

aloha - thanks for your message, I used to read your messages when ds was about 3 months old thinking "please god let mine sleep through before 8 months" and here I am! I know what you mean about second thoughts for number two as well. Its not giving birth that worries me its the months of sleep deprivation ...

I seriously think those first few months, especially if they are sleepless, are worse than labour. And I didn't enjoy labour. Good luck.