Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse

[jaffa19]

they did.

Ds has never slept well. (9mo)

He did however self settle well at bedtime. He would wake2-3 times for a feed despite all my efforts to get more bfs into him during the day. (on 3x meals a day)

At least he was in bed roughly 7-7. Then he started waking earlier and earlier each day - currently 545. Then he started waking more frequently - every 1-2 hrs. This coincided with a nasty cold which he still has. At the same time he totally lost the ability to self settle and while he used to go down awake after night feeds, now he won't be put down and we've been cosleeping for the last few nights - I don't like this, I get less sleep and never feel rested. He will not settle unless on me. Get anywhere near his cot and he screams. He used to love his cot!

He also has some teeth pushing through - great timing. All daytime routine out of the window, he's permanently overtired and grizzly, we've had crying reminiscent of the early reflux days...

I know that it must be the cold and he is feeling very poorly but I am feeling so wrecked I feel resentful. Please please tell me he will go back to 'normal' once he is better? I miss my evenings, and I miss my happy little boy - he's so so miserable :(

Is this normal for a poorly baby or is this likely to be regression/something more long term (please no)

Thanks

Normal and it will get better I promise.

I remember 9 months being pretty rough with teeth and a regression too.

If he'll only settle on you, try letting him do that then put down after some time. If you keep trying he'll get back into it.

Also at 9 months I found DS needed to nap atfixed times by this age. So am for 8.30 and 12 (cos of early wakings) plus a early bedtime. By any means necessary! Try giving calpol etc if he needs it.

I kept up the routine where I could when DS was ill/ regressing so he'd get back to normal faster (although who knows), but I'd also sleep in his room if I needed to or let him sleep on me. Dh would also help so we could both get rest.

I was going to post something very similar. It just seems to be one thing after another with DD2 (9mo). Teething, colds, bugs, other DC's off school, too cold, too hot ... Every so often, when she isn't ill or unsettled for some other spurious reason, I see glimpses of a good sleeper. One night she did 6 hours in a row, but that was at about 12 weeks and hasn't happened since.

Last night was a fucking nightmare. Wanted feeding every 2 hours, took over an hour to settle back to sleep each time. So I didn't get more than 1 hour at a time. She is teething and has a cold so I know there isn't anything I can do apart from weather the storm (and give a bit of calpol).

I know things will get better eventually. DS and DD1 were like this and are now great sleepers but when I'm tired I just want to get sleep! Trouble is I can't remember how we got from here to there IYSWIM.

Sorry, not much help there, but thanks for letting me rant! Just keep plugging away and getting rest where you can. It'll sort itself out one day.

Thank you both.
I know inside that it's just teething and a horrid cold, but it just feels like I'm never going to get a proper nights sleep again!

Sorry to hear you've been having a rough time too, camdancer. Sounds very much like my nights at the moment. Like you we have had the odd good night in the past. He's even slept through a couple of times. But more often than not it's bad. And the thought of him losing the ability to self settle at this stage as well is so depressing.

Re teething, I've maxed out ibuprofen and calpol doses but doesn't seem to make much difference so I've given up on that. He's off milk and food - except for middle of night - so hunger must be bugging him too. I'm sure he's hungry but can't get him to bf - I guess blocked nose, sore gums etc.

As for routine, before this bout of illness we were on fixed timed naps - 30 mins at 9/9.30, 90 mins at 1230 and 30 mins at 4.30. He should be ready to drop the pm nap, in fact maybe that's contributing to early waking? But he just get so so overtired and while he's poorly I feel he needs as much sleep as I can give him? Maybe I'll work on dropping that once he's better. I have been trying to keep up the daytime routine but he's just so ratty and tired! What do you mean by early night Iggly? - earlier than 7pm? He will only sleep for max 90 mins at lunch, so 2pm-7pm is still too long to be awake I think, especially while poorly.

There's always something new to worry about with the land of sleep isn't there!

yes I would agree the afternoon nap nap may contributing to the early waking. As may the AM nap if he regularly takes it at 9am. Also, the screaming at BT may be b/c he's not tired enough after having had that afternoon nap.
However, he may struggle to make it all the way to BT without getting overtired, if he only has 1.5hr lunchtime nap, and he's also waking early.

I think firstly you need to let him recover from his illness.

Then, if the antics continue, I would probably try limiting that afternoon nap to start with. Perhaps reduce it to 15/20mins & see if he settles better at BT, and whether he sleeps in a little later in the morning. If he does, I would then try & push the AM nap consistently to 9.30. See what effect this has on the LTN. Ideally you want 2hrs here, in order for him to make it through to bedtime without that AN. If you feel he can manage without it, I'd drop it & bring bedtime earlier. If you are still only getting a 1.5hr LTN then possibly you may need to either trim the AM nap a bit more, OR push the LTN out a bit towards 12.45pm start.

What do you think?
x

Yes earlier than 7pm especially if you drop the last nap (you can do by shortening it to a catnap of 20 mins or so). Try 6-6.30pm. You only need to do it until he gets better.

Thanks again. Miraculously he woke slighty later today so I was able to experiment more with naps - 30 mins at 930 and then an unheard of 2hrs at 1pm. So there wasn't time for an afternoon nap!

Unfortunately it didn't help with the settling at bedtime, (630pm) he still only had v short bf and then refused any more milk, and cried as soon as he saw his cot. We'll see what tonight has in store...

how's he got on over the weekend?

I think on friday your BT troubles may have been b/c he might not have been tired enough for bed at 6.30pm after having had a 2hr nap from 1-3pm, a 7pm BT may have worked better for him. I hope he slept ok for you?

I would be careful with that PM nap being as late as 1pm, the idea when shortening the AM nap is to keep the following awake time fairly short too, to prevent overtiredness. At that age, my DS could only handle 2.5hrs awake after a 30min AM nap, any more & he'd be OT. So just keep a close eye on him for signs of OT creeping in (typically lots of mid-nap wakeups) or a shorter nap, waking crying etc, & if you get that then pull the PM nap earlier to 12.30/12.45. Hopefully he'll manage it fine though.xx

Thanks for coming back omama!

Weekend was a nightmare - he was really poorly so Saturday was spent napping however possible, in my arms, any time of day. He was so tired. He woke every 3 hers during the night

Yesterday he was feeling much better and slept 915-945, then 1-215. No afternoon nap. I took him for a long walk at 4pm and he dozed for 5 or 10 mins but no proper nap. Needless to say he was shattered at bedtime, he fell asleep during his BT feed and then woke up at 10, 1 and 3. We are completely exhausted and are considering CC this weekend. I can't function like this much longer...

The morning nap has always only been 30 mins, he will not sleep any longer. Lunchtime nap differs everyday but is usually 1.5hrs. You may be right about being OT by 1 - he really didn't seem it, but I suppose he didn't sleep as long as he could have. He does often wake during that nap though and I rock him back to sleep (he has it in the buggy) so that may explain it.

This morning he slept 930-10 so I will try for a 1245 nap at lunch time.

If I drop the pm nap permanently, is the idea that he will start to sleep longer at lunch?

When we don't have a pm nap, he always falls asleep feeding at bedtime and so deeply that I can't bring myself to wake him before putting him in his cot. He then inevitably wakes around 930-10pm.

He eats solids quite well and while his milk feeds are getting shorter and shorter, I'm 99% sure he is getting enough to get through the night so I think CC is a realistic option for us.

Obviously I'd rather avoid it if at all possible!

well we had a good night last night with self settling at bedtime and only one wake up for a feed at 11pm.

Yesterday went like this:

Up at 645
Nap 930 - 10
Nap 1240-155
Nap 415-430
Bed 7pm.

I'm inclined to think he still needs a little catnap at the end of the day, but will he ever sleep longer at lunch time while he's still having it?

Hiya hun

Your day yesterday looks pretty good! And I'm glad to see he settled well at bedtime after having had a much shorter afternoon nap.

I don't necessarily think its the late afternoon catnap that's causing the shorter lunchtime nap. What the afternoon catnap will affect is how he settles at bedtime and how long he will sleep at night. And you are right he still needs it at the moment whilst his lunchtime nap is still short. But if we can figure out how to get him a nice 2hr lunchtime nap then you can wave bye bye to that afternoon catnap.

The length of your lunchtime nap is more likely to be affected by a) the length of the morning nap, and b) the amount of time he's awake before that afternoon nap.

In your last post you said:
'You may be right about being OT by 1 - he really didn't seem it, but I suppose he didn't sleep as long as he could have. He does often wake during that nap though and I rock him back to sleep (he has it in the buggy) so that may explain it. '

If he is waking mid-nap, but still seems tired & needing to sleep, that can often be a sign of OT.

At your DS's age, my DS would manage around 2.5hrs awake after a 30min nap. So it might be worth bringing your lunchtime nap even earlier so it starts at 12.30pm. And see if that gets you a longer nap. You might need to give it a good week for the new routine to take hold before that happens though. If the nap doesn't lengthen, or it has shortened even more, then we may need to look at shortening the AM nap a touch.

Hang in there, your'e doing great!x

Hi again,
I'm back and I don't know what I'm doing wrong!! I've reduced his awake time after 30min morning nap and he's started sleeping for less time after lunch, not more! Last few days he's only slept for one hour and it's driving me mad!

Today he's been resisting sleep - woke at 730, wouldnt nap til 1030, for half hr, then at 140 he only slept for an hour! And no time for a pm top up Catnap, so he'll have only had 1.5 hrs sleep today. I'm going crazy...

I was going to start night weaning/sleep training last elm but he was poorly. If/when we get that sorted will the length of his naps improve?

Help me!

If he's poorly, this will always affect things. Changes to routines such as omama (very wisely) suggests need to be done when there are no other elements to affect the outcome and therefore confuse you.

I would say try and stick to the timings you've set for yourself for at least one/two weeks and see what happens. It took me four weeks to sort out my DD's early morning waking and I was SO tempted to give up but I kept at it. I was consistent with the routine which I think helped and in the end we got there.

I have always been rubbish at CC, it's very hard when you're in the midst of it and if you give up, it puts your baby through an awful lot of anguish for nothing. I'm not saying don't do it, but I always like to explore all my options around the routine before I would embark on it.

Thanks for your reply. DS is actually much better now but you're right, I guess i need to stick at a routine for a couple of weeks. I just want that long nap everyone seems to enjoy!

jaffa19, my DS was worse than a newborn between 9 months and (don't want to scare you) somewhere just over 12 months. It was hell. He lost all ability to self-settle, needed to be rocked for ages (never needed that before) and woke up every 1.5-2 hours a night to have boob. And there was nothing we could do. I could never brave CC and any "gradual" or "no cry" approach was just stupid as I could barely get him down in any way at all. But in this period he grew about 10 teeth (in addition to already existing 6). He is now 14 months and waking up 3 times to have boob between 8 and 7. In general, 9 months seems to be a hard time for sleep for many. And it is most likely temporary and short-term for your DS, however annoying it is now.

Unfortunately, I can't say anything about early waking. We've been spared this curse (running around touching all wood in the house). I am also so terrified of it, that every time DS does wake up early for some reason, I try to make the experience as unpleasant for him as possible, mainly by trying to put him back to sleep, however long it takes.