17 month old, waking at 4.00am, help!

[snowjoke]

My DS has been consistently waking between 3.30-4.30 every night for about a month now, some nights he also wakes at midnight. Some nights we have success in settling him back again until about 5.30, but most nights he will not go back to sleep. I'm at the end of my tether, dealing with lack of sleep an energetic boy and strong willed 3yo DD. We are very consistent in our approach, never really give in, but where controlled crying seemed to be working previously, he now is getting more and more distressed at being left, ie we used to be able to put him down for naps and bedtime awake and he would chatter happily to sleep, now he stands up screaming straight away, we have to wait in his room until he s asleep or keep a hand on his back. He seems to have forgotten how to self settle, why? any ideas and any ideas how we can get sleep back on track. I am pretty sure he is not in any pain as nights when I've given him nurofen or calpol have made no difference. He always has naps in the day so not overtired, and I don't think he is having too much sleep esp considering night wakings. Any advice welcome, thank you

Hi scraggadoo I didn't want to leave your post unanswered :( sounds like a rough time. Having just got through a tummy bug with DS, do you think he could be generally very OT? Because extra-early bed times could help if that's the case. They have helped us no end. DS lost out on hours of sleep whilst ill and so built up a bad sleep debt. A few nights with a 6pm bed time seem to have worked miracles. Hopefully somebody else (omama if you're lucky) can offer some advice. X

vix206 - glad you've had a few longer nights!!!

hiya scragadoo - vix suggestion of EBT is a good one if he's OT from being poorly, or if you get another day where he skips his PM nap, however your sleep situation is a little different to her LO's b/c he is on 1 nap whereas yours is on 2. TBH I think if you tried the EBT on a day when he naps 1.30-3pm he will either flat out refuse, or you'd get a mega EW the next day. I actually think you do need to drop the morning nap as this is probably what is causing your EW. Being 17months, he should be able to handle it ok. So I'd probably try doing a nap at around 11-11.30, let him sleep as long as he wants & if the nap is short do a super early bedtime. Do the 1 nap for a week, and then over a period of time, you can very gradually shift that nap later (perhaps 15mins later per week) until it starts after lunch at around 12.30pm. We started our 1 nap days at around 12 months so we had some days with 3hr naps, but as we got to 15/16 months I found if he napped for longer than 2hrs we got EW, so we capped his nap at 2hrs max. So something to bear in mind if you find he takes mega naps & you get EW. Its tricky with your DD's school situation, & I think you will have to do exactly what you have said i.e. hold him out until after the school pick up, unless you are lucky & are able to transfer him from car/buggy to cot without waking him of course!

WRT nursery, whether you change things now or later is up to you, but if they are only going to do 1 nap anyway then you might as well make a start. Plus it really might help your EW situation in which case you will ALL feel better.

Will they put him down at the times you say or is it a set nap after lunch? If they could follow your plan to push the nap gradually later that would be good as it'll keep things consistent for him. My DS did take a few weeks before he napped well there, so if you get some awful nap days, just do a really early bedtime & he should hopefully make up for the lost sleep overnight.

Try not to worry about him settling in - my 19month DS was just the same & cried a lot when I left him. TBH he still cries when I drop him off & he's been going 6 months now (only 1 day/week though), but I have waited & watched him through the window, & he stops the minute I am out of sight, so really, once I am gone he is completely fine. Keep that in mind!!!

HTH.x

Thankyou for the tips. Today we, started the day at 5 which actually wasn't so bad! Anyway he had a good 2 hour nap at around 11 and then was fine all pm and went to bed with no issue. Am really hoping that we have a settled night and a good start to the day... Will let you know.. Am actually looking forward to the clocks going forward for the lie in ;-)

Yay true! You might not need to even push things out at all! I forgot about that!!!