2yr old vomiting at bedtime!

[manna]

I've written about this before, then things got better, now they are worse again. My (now just) 2yr old started being scared of going to sleep on his own at around 19mths, and would scream and then vomit through screaming too much if we left him. However, over the course of the first week of this, he would eventually vomit even before he started crying, as soon as we finished reading and picked him up to put him in his cot. This was 2 days after he stayed at his grannies for the night, although she said nothing happened then. Anyway, we stayed with him, as he seemed genuinely upset and scared, (although he is not scared of the dark, and often makes me turn the lights out so he can play in the dark!). We managed to sort it out, after weeks of staying in the room as he fell asleep. Now, however, he's started again, asks me to stay on the sofa in the room even as I go down to put him to bed, and says things like 'I be sick, maybe', to which I reply, 'no you wont' in a very calm voice! He doesn't stick his fingers down his throat, he gets upset, crys a bit (only a little bit), then gags and throws up. We have never had any problems with his sleep before, he's always been a 12hr a night gina baby, and if it was just crying I would leave him to cry it out. However, it's not, and I don't want to leave him to vomit, as obviously it's upsetting and dangerous. Any advice please? baby no. 2 is on the way and I have to sort this out before then. I feel I'm being manipulated by a two year old, but the vomiting thing makes me unsure how to proceed!

nothing!! no advice anywhere??

Does this mean my ds is the only child in the universe to do this?

It's worse than I thought.........

I don't have advice as such but I read Christopher Green's Toddler Taming and he speaks of a set of twins who were able to vomit on demand at bedtime. He said the mother would calmly change the bed without speaking and leave the room. I think you need to perhaps read the book to be able to judge if this is something that would work for you but if he has no other signs of being unwell a no fuss approach may work. Sorry can't come up with anything more for you.

Hi Manna

Did your son by any chance have a cold when he stayed at grannies, wonder if it could have been a bit of reflux or something and if now it has stuck in his mind.

Its very difficult to reason with a two year old (my DD is the same age) and all you can do is to continue to reassure him. He will eventually get to a point where he forgets about this habit he has picked up and should hopefully fall into a nice easy sleep. Be wary of giving milk at bedtime if possible as this can lie on the throat a little and instead see if he will have a little water.

Hope things improve for you soon and good luck and congratulations with no 2.

Take care x

Sounds really upsetting manna,
I'd say the same as Queenie, change the sheets without any fuss, tuck him back in and say goodnight. Try not responding at all if he mentions being sick.
Could it be that he's playing up a bit because you're pregnant? This is pretty common once pregnancy is established, and they sense you acting a bit differently eg. not getting down on the floor playing with them as much as before, shorter patience because you're tired etc.

Hi manna - ds1 did this a few times - screaming til he was sick, and we just followed the advice given here - cleaned up with as little fuss as possible, and continued to leave him to it.

Vomiting isn't necessarily a crisis situation. DS1 is very rarely sick, but ds2 (4.5 now) is sick quite often. If his temperature is slightly above normal he vomits; if he has a chest infection or a bad cold, he vomits; if he eats too much he vomits. Some kids are just like this - being sick simply does not bother him at all. Fortunately now he mostly manages to hold on until he gets to a bucket, but you learn to just get on with it.

My ds1 did something similar at the same age - and by a strange coincidence I was pregnant with ds2. He would get upstairs, cry his little heart out, and then vomit. This distressed him so much that he suddenly 'decided' he wanted to sleep in the 'big bed' in his own room rather than in his cot in our room. This was a minor miracle as he is autistic and hates change. He is incapable of being manipulative and was genuinely scared of being sick. Does your ds mean "Stay or I'll be sick" or "Stay because I'm worried that I might be sick"?

I wonder if he is now scared of being sick and that whenever he is put to bed it reminds him and provokes the vomiting, a bit like Pavlov's reflex? I was very car-sick as a child and eventually, just my mum saying we were going out in the car would make me sick, way before we'd made it out of the house! Even today, Chanel No5 makes me nauseous because my mum wore it when we went out.

I suppose it's an association of ideas thing, and I wouldn't think he is deliberatly manipulating you. I'm not sure how you would deal with it, unless you can try to change his routine completely, avoiding as many triggers as possible? Hope he's better soon.

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Thanks for all your replies. I think it is an association of ideas, like suedonim said, as he remembers the first time he was sick and gets worried. However, the 'mummy go to sleep on the sofa' repeated over and over like a mantra smacks a little of manipulation! He is a very canny 2 yr old. It's definitely not reflux, or a physical thing, more psychological.

Anyway, Saturday night and we bit the bullet. A sheet to cover the floor, a bucket by the side of the bed in case he wanted to be sick, a teddy (for the first time, as he's never shown any interest before, he's a thumb sucker)to cuddle, a chart with stickers on if he managed to go to bed on his own without vomiting, a quiet talk about why we couldn't sleep on the sofa any more, and a promise to be just outside the door. Well, it worked, although I had to crouch on the landing for 30 mins while he said 'mummy?' periodically, to which I replied through the door 'mummy's here'. Each sleep he has needed a shorter and shorter time to drop off, and he has called out for me less and less. Last night it was only 1 call and 10mins. So, I think we've cracked it, or we're on the way. He loves his stickers, is very proud and shows everyone them. More worryingly, he also loves his bucket!! The important thing, I think, has been to stay outside so he can hear me as he falls asleep. Obviously I'll fade this out over the next few days, but in the beginning that's what I promised and so that's what I did.

Here's hoping that's the last we hear of that one. Thanks for all the advice

Bless! I'm glad he's no longer being sick and hope you don't find it too hard to wean him off the bucket!