14 week old - advice on napping

[Cakebaker35]

Hello all, I'm a first time Mum in need of some tips on daytime naps please. My daughter is 14 weeks and thankfully is a great sleeper at night, going to bed between 7/7.30 without much fuss and sleeping until around 4.30 for a feed, then back to sleep. Sometimes she then sleeps until around 7/7.30, other days it can be until 8.45. So I know I am really lucky on this front.

However my daughter seems to have got more grouchy in the daytime in the last couple of weeks and I am pretty certain she is getting over tired as has never been great at good sleeps in the day. She used to just drop off wherever we were but now seems to need alot more help getting to sleep in the day and she seems to have stopped falling asleep in the usual places like the car / buggy. So I have been trying to put her down for naps when I notice she is yawning or rubbing her eyes but she usually really fights it and cries. Sometimes she does drop off, but more often than not I spend age sitting and ssshing her for her only to drop off for 10 or 20 mins. I also tried a mobile over her crib but that just seemed to keep her even more awake.

I would really welcome any advice on napping & routines as it is really affecting our days - she is clearly tired but won't drop off and so is grizzly and means I am often left feeling pretty low as I just want her to be relaxed & happy! We are also struggling to get out to baby groups and other things as I feel really conscious of her being grizzly or I don't want her to become even more over tired so we don't go as there never seems to be a 'good time', which I feel is a real shame for us both.

Any tips or advice really welcome, thank you.

Hi. I've got a reluctant napper too. She's a little bit older- 9 months, and like your DD, has always been good at sleeping through the night, ONCE she is asleep. She can fight it for hours though, why do they do it!?

I would say, that your DD is sleeping a long time in one go. 7.30-4.30, so 9 hrs straight off, then another 2-3 hrs. Could you try and split that time a bit? Could you try and gradually put her to bed a little later, say 9pm, in the hope that she will still sleep for 9-10 hours taking you to 6-6.30, then get her up and keep her awake for a couple of hours, have a feed then try and get her to nap? If I get my DD to sleep too early in the evening, she will do as yours does and wake up stupid o clock, have a feed then have a lie in! Then refuse to nap again in the day prefering to be grumpy. I do like her style, but it doesn't make her happy in the long run.

Good luck. Hopefully someone will come along with a brilliant solution for you (and me).

You have just described my DD when she was 14 weeks, she's now 17 and it's improving. Probably just shot myself in the foot by saying that!

Since birth she has always been a big sleeper but with no pattern, at 6 weeks we established a bedtime routine, bath, milk, bed at 7pm and she started sleeping for longer at night and by 10 weeks she was sleeping through the night 7 - 7 and then 2 x 2.5hr naps during the day. At 14 weeks it was like she forgot everything and would only nap during the day for 30-40 mins at a time and she started waking up every 3 hours at night. Lots of people told me as she was older she probably needed less sleep but you know when you know and I just knew that wasn't the case. She was just miserable all the time, rubbing her eyes, yawning, crying. It seemed to me that the more sleep she had the better she slept and the happier she was. One week I spent the entire time trying to get her to sleep with hardly any luck at all, a bit like you are going through now, the following week I was really unwell and run down because of it.

I then had a thought that what if she wasn't napping because she was that bit older and bit more aware of things and was suddenly panicking that it was night time and she was going for her long sleep. So I thought ok what do I do at bedtime? One day I took her up for her nap, changed her nappy and fed her and she just let me put her down. I was amazed. I don't think it was a coincidence as I have tried adjusting this slightly and it doesn't work. Previously I would feed her when she woke up you see, so effectively I was putting her down for a nap without feeding her (which she used to be fine with because she'd not long eaten).

My problem now is that she won't go to sleep without being fed first and will only sleep in her crib, you can imagine this is a bit tricky when out and about. However from my limited experience it seems to me that everything changes so quickly and pretty soon she'll manage it and a new problem will come along.

Also just to comment on what thislittleteddybear suggested, I am currently in the process of trying to get DD to go to bed later as she has brought her bedtime forward. She literally can't manage past 6pm because she won't take a third nap of the day. Try as I might I can't get her to stay up any later. The reason I am trying to make it later is because DD has suddenly started waking up at 4:30 or 5:30 and wanting to start her day. Honestly, it's not for a feed, she'll kick her covers off, kick around and be chattering. If you can move her bedtime later then do but my little one won't let me and I've tried moving it on 5 mins each day - does not work for us. However one thing I have been doing it getting up with her (as I have fought with her to go back to bed after a feed) and then putting her down for an early nap and going to sleep myself. She'll then usually go down for at least an hour and sometimes two. I reckon it's because she's pooped from getting up so early, bit like her mummy!!

Good luck, it's not easy but it will pass.

I'd wake her up at the same time each day, then you can introduce naps at similar times each day to ease her into a schedule and make it more likely she'll nap on the go?

DD is 14 weeks tomorrow and only really naps on me/sling but as she gets closer to 4/5 months I'll introduce the cot.

DS (2.5 years), didn't nap on the move until 5 months ish.

Have you tried a sling? It's handy if you can see they're getting massively overtired - you can get them to nap on the way to a group/on the way home so you know they're well rested? I used to walk a lot with DS - was the only way I'd get decent naps from him! I got him into the cot sporadically at 5 months, regularly at 9 months.

It's worth looking at snooze shades which can black out the view, making it easier for them to sleep? You can get them from amazon for puschairs and car seats.

Hello everyone, thanks so much for the suggestions and ideas, it really helps to know i'm not the only one struggling with this!

My little one used to go to bed later, around 9pm, but gradually she was getting more and more tired and so it had gradually come forward. I have tried keeping her awake a few times but she really does go mental! Gets so overtired that she cries & cries, then can't fall asleep, so i'm a bit reluctant to try moving bed time as she goes down so well at her 'natural' time of around 7ish and we all have a less stressful evening. Last night she was so tired she was in bed at 7, didn't wake until 4 for a quick feed, then sleep again until 8.

Today I watched her really closely from when she first woke up, as quite a few friends have said they will naturally be tired after about 90 mins of being awake. So the minute she began yawning at about 9.45, I scooped her up and we went upstairs for a cuddle and some 'ssshing' - she did cry as usual but that became more of a grumble and she eventually went to sleep at 10.15 and so far, so still asleep! So I think I will have to try this each time, scoop her up & take her upstairs for a cuddle etc and see if this helps her figure out it is nap time! Doesn't quite solve the out & about napping, but one step at a time I think!

Unfortunately we can't use a sling as she has a hip problem which means she can't go in one of these.

I am going to try and focus on the postives today, i.e. she sleeps so well at night compared to some I know!

Thanks again everyone

I was going to say that I think she sounds overtired. Some babies can only be up for an hour before needing a nap - the fact that she sleeps so well at night points to the fact she may be a naturally sleepy baby. Lucky you!

I wouldn't move her bedtime from 7 - I think you could end up with a really overtired baby on your hands and you may ruin the good nights you've been blessed with so far.

Cakebaker you have described my DS! He is now 13wo and he sleeps really well at night (thank goodness), going down about 7.30 - 8.00 and sleeping through until 6.30/7.00 sometimes waking once or twice, sometimes not at all. I'm very grateful he is a good night sleeper!

But he has real trouble taking naps in the day, I'm being really vigilant and taking him to go for a nap when I notice him yawning/rubbing eyes/getting grizzly but even though he will sometimes go down with just a little fussing and crying he really only sleeps for about 40 minutes. Today he slept for only 20 minutes, in the end I took him into bed with me and we both had a nap together. He slept for 2 hours so I KNOW he's tired and needs to sleep! This afternoon he only went down for 10 minutes

Car seat/pram/sling all used to work their magic but not any more. What can I do to help him nap more? I know he needs more naps/better quality naps as he is tired, grizzly and grumpy when he hasn't had enough. Help!!!

My DD (16 wks) is pretty similar. She typically sleeps from 8 until 6 without waking and never used to nap for longer than 30 mins.

I've started only giving her a dummy when I notice her tiredness cues and also have been cuddling her to sleep and then transferring to her cot (parked downstairs so an easier transfer) when she's asleep which means I can also do this when we're out and about. I'm also thinking about introducing a toy/comforter for sleeping so that I can wean her off the dummy when the time comes and still be able to give her something that is associated with sleep.

It's all a bit new as I used to always feed to sleep but wanted to get out of that habit (although I sometimes still do it if she won't drop off). I'm also not in a routine as such - we're feeding on demand, so I figured she could sleep on demand too until she starts taking solids (in my head this is a utopic time when she will eat, sleep and play in a rough schedule that I can then stick too - I doubt this is true but I am pretending it is!)

Hello all, thanks for all the replies, thought i'd fill you in on how we've been doing on the napping front since I started this thread.

So DD is now 16 weeks and still sleeping super well at night - we are very lucky, she continues to sleep through for between 8 - 11 hrs so I know we are so lucky having friends who have babies still waking lots.

As for naps, i've been really trying to watch her as much as possible and notice her cues when she is tired - generally once she yawns a couple of times I know pick her up and take her upstairs where we sit on the bed having a cuddle while she drops off - sometimes she cries a bit but I have found the sooner I take her upstairs to start this the better she is. A few times when I have been busy or not realised she is tired, she then gets overtired and really cries, so spotting it early seems to be the key. She still needs a dummy to drop off but we will cross that bridge another time!! Once asleep or at least quite sleepy, I put her in her crib and she seems to settle - again always more quickly if I have caught her tiredness cues early. So far she is have a morning nap of about 45mins - 1 hr, usually only 70-90 mins after she has first woken up. Then same gap again until the next nap which is usually a bit longer, up to 2 hrs sometimes. The afternoon nap seems to be a problem for her to settle well, so for this I generally go for a walk with the buggy and she will usually have a short nap. So we are by no means experts but littlestressy I would say try catching your DS as soon as you notice signs of tiredness and just do exactly the same thing each time, it will take a few days but hopefully will start to work for you.

Now all this is fine but means we still don't get to much on time!! It is all dependent on what time she wakes up in the morning as to how the nap cycle works, I have tried waking her but that really doesn't work well as she is very grumpy! So for now I don't have a clue how we'll ever work this bit out but hopefully as she gets older she will slot into a more regular pattern as you say Trina W!