Apologies, didn't mean this post to be so long, I must have needed to rant!
So until DD was 4 months old, she was a fantastic sleeper (wish we'd known how great at the time). She was in her crib asleep by 7pm every night without fail, could self settle by sucking her thumb, and woke for a fairly quick feed around 10pm, 2am, 5am then up for the day at 7am (or if we were really lucky 10pm, 3am and up at 7am :))
Then things started to deteriorate. She started waking more frequently and becoming difficult to settle quickly back to sleep after a feed. She seemed to forget her thumb existed and stopped even attempting to self soothe. We ended up at the point where she would either wake every 1.5 hours all night or I'd fall asleep sitting up feeding her around 1am and she'd sleep in my arms latching herself on and off for most of the night. This was around 6 months so on the advice of the HV we tried her in her own room in her big cot, maybe she needed the space or the quiet. We also gave her a teddy bear to help her self settle after listening to advice from my mum.
For two nights, things improved. She was back to waking up just every 3 hours or so, and if she half woke she'd suck teddy's ear to put herself back to sleep. I'd go in and find her with teddy clutched over her face, fast asleep and making little sucky noises.
Then things deteriorated again and we were back to waking every 1-1.5 hours. After a couple of nights where I spent most of the night either stood in her room or lying on the floor through there waiting for her to wake up for the 10th time I decided enough was enough and we were going to start cosleeping. It took a few weeks for me to find a way of cosleeping that meant I could actually get some sleep, but DDs sleep started to improve. She was sleeping 3 hours at a time again, and not only that but she was happier. Waking up with a smile instead of crying out, and much more settled in the daytime.
Now DD is 8 months. We're still cosleeping and (although I would love some space and the freedom to move about in the night) I love the closeness and the cuddles. I also feel so much more human (and a much better mummy as a result) than I did a month or so ago. In the night she now will often wake only once or twice and it's usually a quick feed before easily back to sleep. We do still have bad nights, but not every night.
Our main problem just now is evenings. Between when DD goes to bed around 7pm and when we go to bed around 10.30/11pm she wakes about every 45 mins, unless one of us sits with her in which case she'll shuffle a bit but not wake up fully until she wants a feed. So we're now spending evenings taking it in turns to sit up with her with either a book or the laptop, it's a bit frustrating yes but that seems to be what she needs just now.
I'm not looking for ways to change this, I'm not prepared to do any form of CC as I don't think it is right for us. I've read the no-cry sleep solution, and there are some ideas in there that we might consider using in the near future. But basically my priority just now is trying to make sure DD gets as much sleep as possible and feels secure, whilst we also get some rest and some sleep so if thst means being with her 7-7 then so be it. One day I'm sure she'll want her own space. My problem is that I am so sick of the comments. From other mums, friends, family, HVs. "What's wrong with her?", "Is she still in your bed?", "You're going to have to get her out of the bad habits", "She can't be hungry", "Is she still feeding that often", .... Every time I've convinced myself we're doing the right thing, someone says something that has me doubting myself again.
So please, someone, reassure me that what I'm doing is okay!
Thank you for reading, emotional outburst over now :)