Gentle ways to improve 8mo's sleep, cut down night feeds/night wean - any ideas?

[Edie78]

DS is 8mo, EBF and we've been doing BLW since he was 6mo. He's getting lots of food in and is definitely less interested in BF in the day. But he's still feeding between 2 and 4 times in the night (or maybe more - when I bring him into bed with me he tends to snack for the rest of the night which drives me a bit crazy). DH used to be able to settle him when he woke, but at the moment he just cries for me (not always for a feed, but more often than not). His first tooth came through last week so reckon teething could be to blame for that.

He sleeps in his cot 7ish till 10.30/11ish, wakes up, has a quick bf, back to sleep in the cot until 3 if we're lucky and 1 if we're not. I'm then usually too tired to do anything but bring him into bed and let him graze away. If this happens early on in the night, he then tends to wake up early (5.30) but if later on, then he'll wake at a better time (7ish).

I'm under no illustion that he's about to start sleeping through the night any time soon, but I would like to gradually reduce night feeds (and night wean by the time I go back to work in June/July) and also get him to sleep for longer stretches at a time. Has anyone who's been there and done that got any suggestions for how to go about this? What worked for you?

I'm definitely not up for controlled crying, partly because I feel it's the wrong thing to do but also because he's such an active and distractable baby that if I were to leave him in his cot for 5 mins, he'd be crawling around, pulling up and generally getting increasingly awake, making it impossible to get him back to sleep. But all other suggestions welcomed.

TIA and sorry for the long post.

I'm in exactly the same boat! Dd will be 8mo in a week and more often than not will wake upto 5 times between 11 and 6! I do feel the habit is my fault tho cos we cosleep and I always just feed her back to sleep because it's easier to do and allows me to get some more sleep! I am starting to think that this isn't good for either of us so am thinking of offering water from a bottle and a cwtch I know it won't take long to adjust I just need to get the will power!

Have been told the book "no cry sleep solution" and the dr sears site has some ideas.

With ds3, when he was 8 months and waking a stupid amount of times a night, I recruited dh onto Operation Sleep.

I noticed that if he woke before 3 he was sucking for comfort and to help him get back off to sleep. Anytime after that he would have a proper feed.

So, any wake-ups before 3 were dealt with by dh. Ds wasn't too happy at first, but within a couple of days he got used to not feeding back to sleep and started to settle quickly back to sleep.

Over a few weeks he stopped waking up so much, then by 9 months he was starting to sleep through the night. He is now 10mo and more often than not he sleeps 7-6.

ILike how did your DH settle him? We're still having multiple wake ups, though things have improved a bit. Problem is, DD seems to cry more with DH, and will start to cry harder as he tries to settle her - he's shushing, hugging, then might put on the lightshow. Does your DH have any tricks? or is it something we just have to get through?

Hi Chilli.

I think dh holds ds upright with ds's head on his shoulder and sort of walks round jiggling him. It's what he has done with all of the boys, so it's more what he does rather than what ds likes iyswim - however it seems to work.

I personally wouldn't put on a lightshow as i would imagine it would wake ds up more. But you know your dd best. So if you think it helps then carry on.

I think when dh first started settling ds,ds did put up some resistance. But, he was with someone who loves him and who he loves, and he is being cuddled and soothed. So whilst it was horrible to hear him get upset, it was only for a few minutes for the first couple of nights, until he got used to it.

Does this help? If not, feel free to ask me more questions

ILike - thanks, really helpful. I think we're going to try a similar approach. Dh is up for it so we just need to pick a good night to start. We're also wondering how dh will settle him - rocking and shushing seemed to work previously but now it winds ds up...

Thanks again - here's hoping we get some regular 7 till 3 stretches soon. I could cope with that!

FWIW we had our first 'sleep through' last night with our 10mo, bf ds. He had been feeding 4 x per night for 15 mins per time, so I've been there! We used Millpond and they told us to gradually reduce feeds by 1 min per night and teach DS to self settle at the same time with gradual retreat (3 nights touch, 3 nights intermittent touch, no touch, then progressively move further away until out the door). NB bedtime routine very important in order to break association between BF and sleep (feed DC before routine starts). This is a VERY truncated idea of that plan they gave us - they have produced a book -'teach your child to sleep' and I would recommend it. There were a few tears but we were always with DC so I felt fine with it (he couldn't feel abandoned).

Thanks I Like, I thought the lightshow would be too stimulating too but it does seem to mesmerise her and send her off to sleep sometimes (was very close to it tonight).
DH is worried about how long he's going to have to spend trying to settle her - she has an ability to cry for an hour or more, even when being hugged and is also difficult to hold as she's wriggling about and pushing away so much.

Chillikat - we have same problem with the wriggling. But dh had a minor breakthrough last night and managed to stop ds crying by singing twinkle twinkle in a low voice whilst hugging ds. Took about 10 mins and then he was able to rock him back to sleep. So we got to 1am before ds had a feed which feels like a bit of progress...how's things going for you?

We decided at 12.30am that DH would go and settle her as she'd had plenty of feeds so must be full. We then had full on screaming for half an hour, she did quieten down a little but i think that was only due to exhaustion. By that time his arm was aching so I took her and sat down with her facing away from me and rocked from side to side. She then eventually fell asleep.
Then woke at 4.45 when I fed her and again at 6.15. I could really do without 6.15.
I might suggest DH sings to her tonight.

This is us all over!!! With added complication of pacifier addiction. I asked the HV for help. Answer: let him cry... Tried that today and NIGHTMARE. An hour of playing, an hour of crying and 15 min sleep. What a ruin of a day! Never again, never never again.

Until today I've had good progress as follows:

1. tank him up in the evening (add a milk and cookies snack time using formula - he hates formula but I do find if I get 100ml in him he does sleep better)
2. add a dream feed
3. use cosleeping but DON'T FEED except on schedule. Cuddle etc. Took 5 nights to lose one feed, but last night he dropped the second on his own. Last 2 of those I went to another room so he was in his cosleeper with DH, and when I came back on Sunday he didn't even ask for the feed.
4. start the night in his own bed, back in own bed post dream feed, then in with me after next feed
5. bizarrely, don't put the pacifier in post dream feed
6. leave about 6 pacis in the bed with him and help him find them, not me plugging

Plan is to put him back in his own room after his dream feed tonight, and try to resettle him there until 3ish AM, but if he won't he can come in for cuddles until the feed instead. As he had been eating at 130 previously but last night didn't until 330 (fell asleep in my arms instead) I know he can do it... It will just be a tough 2 hours!

We have made slow but steady progress since he was waking up to feed 10 times a night just about 6 weeks ago. I won't say it's been no cry, but (until taking bad advice today) it's never been truly stressful or disruptive.

yy to singing. I find a repeating and monotinous (sp?) song works best. I also find rythmic (sp?, sorry I am tired and my brain is mush) patting in time to the music helps.

If it gets too much or you think you aren't making progress because you are tired, stop and maybe wait until Thursday night? If you have a crap night Thurs, then you've only got Friday to get through before the weekend. Then you have a run of a couple of days to tackle it, and if needs be both you and dp can nap in the daytime if you want to.

I would also add that being consistant really does help. Make a plan, stick to it for at least 5 days. If you don't think ANYTHING is improving, make another plan.