when mummy goes bad (lack of sleep)

[LaCiccolina]

Im so ashamed. My dd has woken up several nights now on the trot and Im just barely holding it together. My dh is great. Its just such an aberration we are not used to it. Usually dd is apparently a decent sleeper.

Its not her I want to really talk about. Its me. Im just so disappointed in myself today. I started out ok but after several hours it disintegrated and I ended up shouting and not a nice or good mummy. How do you keep evenly tempered when THAT tired? Just at night when everything doesn't work, what else can I try to maintain my calm and induce her sleep?

(As it turns out I took her to the docs today and she's got a bronchial infection which is undoubtedly causing some of it - yeah makes me worse doesn't it? - so hopefully when this medication kicks in it will go, but I figure its a bigger question than this answer alone gives so please reply.)

You're human! You sound like a great mum seriously. I think you should give yourself a break. Make a cuppa. Chocolate always helps

Aw... Hug! I am v prone to losing my temper. I constantly feel awful about it if I do. Last night I didn't even lose my temper just decided to leave DD to cry scream at bedtime (also a real anomaly) but she went to sleep quietly when DH went and sat with her. I was in tears all evening.

I also am blessed with a husband who is a perfect exemplar of calm. Feel like a curse some times, esp when I hold myself up against him! No advice I'm afraid but definite solidarity.

Thanks so much for this. I spent all day convinced I was awful. We got thru last night tho unscathed, well not quite accurate but was better than the previous one!

Here's hoping for tonight too! U made me feel normal again!!!

You and me both! Tomorrow is another day. Remember you feel awful now and try to count to ten next time your fuse is short... but forgive yourself if you don't, sleep deprivation is a form of torture after all, designed to send you loopy & make you crack!

I too feel your pain. You'r stressed and very very tiered. If you managed to stay calm and composed 100% of the time that would not make you a good mum it would make you superhuman. Your getting angry and upset because you care for her, her needs and wellbeing, that makes you a damn good mum. I find that if it's getting a bit much and I'm close to losing my temper, I put her in her Moses basket, and go and stand in the garden for 5 minutes and compose myself. It's generally easier to cope with it then and you'r more likely to get her settled. And remember a MN motto "this too shall pass".

Don't be ashamed. Remind yourself that everyone else on here has gone through the same emotions at some point. Sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture for a reason!

At least you know she's ill and that's probably why. I always seem to cope better if there's logic behind the sleeplessness as I have faith it won't go on indefinitely. Sounds like she's on the mend, so have a big glass of wine and stop beating yourself up. You are only human.

Grumpy tired parent is probably the default model for most of us with non-sleeping children or more than one child. I am not saying most parents are grumpy all the time, but most do have their moments and those with children who sleep badly probably have more moments than most. Most children turn out OK, so I am fairly confident that being grumpy occasionally is not going to hurt them in the long-term!

You are unusual for being well-rested and even tempered most of the time, and you are feeling your way through a deviation from your normal. I'm not saying that to be flippant, just wanted you to realise that it is normal and natural not to be able to be a 'perfect' mother given the lack of sleep that generally goes with motherhood.