The Baby Whisperer

[MichelleM]

Just wondered if anyone else has read and followed any of the advice from "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer". I have just spent a week applying her pick up/put down method, and my 5 mth old DS has changed beyond all recognition!!

Before last week he was waking several times in the night, and would only nap when rocked in the pram during the day. For the last two nights he has slept through from 7pm-7am, and is napping in his cot during the day.

Just wanted to recommend this book to anyone trying to sleep train. I am always on Mumsnet looking help for one thing or another, so thought I would share something I felt useful for a change

Cords
I think the PU/PD technique will work for you, as part of it you are already doing (patting and sshing!). You just need to be really persistent and committed to it. The first time I tried it with DS it took 38 minutes to work, and I had a 40 minute limit set (as recommended by Tracey Hogg). He did cry loudly during that time, but as she explains, a baby crying whilst held in your arms being comforted is not the same as leaving a baby on its own in the room feeling abandoned (dont anyone jump down my throat for saying that, just requoting the author ). The key is though that the second he settles you place him fully flat in the cot again. Wait for a few seconds when he starts crying again to see if it is a more settling down type cry....if not pick up and keep repeating.

The next nap I put him down for it took 20 mins to settle, and by third day in he was settling within 5 minutes for his naps.

Hope this helps

cords - my daughter is the same - she will only sleep if cradeled in my arms - it is rare that she will fall asleep in the car seat or pram either - even if she is clearly tired.

I tried the pupd thing very briefly, but gave up alost immediately. It went like this - I put her in her crib - she cried - I picked her up again - it took about half an hour to calm her - I put her down - she cried - I picked her up again - half an hour later I gave up and got into bed with her. She just seems to go from calm to inconsolable hysteria in moments. And it is not just sleep times - she hates to be put down at all. As far as she is concerned her rightful place is being cuddled.

I don't know what to do - I feel I should persist, but don't really have the energy.

Oakmaiden, this is what my DS used to be like, except he would fall asleep in the car. How old is your DD?

BR

Only 6 weeks.

I have just (inspired by this thread and by the Baby Whisperer website) tried again. Not so bad this time - put her down and she lay there for 6 mins before crying - picked up and put down another 4 times (so 5 put downs in total) over the next 10 minutes - gave her a dummy - she finally went to sleep after 50 minutes (although she had been quiet and looking relatively peaceful, which is why I went over the suggested 40 minutes) with my having given up patting her and shhhing, and simply having my arm draped across her and humming "Winkyn, Blinkyn and Nod" ad nauseum. Waited another 20 minutes before retrieving my arm, and have come straight here to report!

So that is a VAST improvement over last weeks effort - and all i can think is that since last week she has had 3 appointments with the cranial osteopath. So I wonder if something there has made a difference?

Fingers crossed she will be asleep for a reasonable amount of time - because I am going to have to persevere at this now, aren't I? So I expect it will be wake at 12 - an hour to fed - another hour to settle - an hours sleep - wake at 3 - aaaaaaaaargh!!! Never mind - dh isn't at work tomorrow, or over the weekend, so I suppose I can just hope that by the time he is back at work (Monday) we will be over the worst of it. I don't even mind baby sleeping in with me during the night, but I want her to be able to sleep alone. So when she gets used to settleing alone she may end up coming into bed and staying after the nighttime feeds - but I have got very tired of carrying her everywhere all the time and having her refuse to be parted from me for a moment. Adorable though it is.

Fingers crossed for me!

Oakmaiden
Really hope things work out for you so that you get a bit of a breather. Sounds like you have got off to a good start with settling your little one down. You are right to use your own method of calming baby down, and if "Winkyn, Blinkyn and Nod" works, keep at it ! I sometimes just whisper "tik-tok, tik-tok..." in DS's ear while he is lying down in the cot, and this also seems to work really well - DH heard me doing it recently and is worried about me!!

oakmaiden ... I sympathise so much ! And I really do hope that you persevere ...
Bunnyrabbit ...did you persevere ? Does your DS sleep on his own now ?
DD is now almost 3 months, and I have sacrificed (I know that sounds extreme) teaching her to learn to sleep on her own for some peace and quiet and rest time and time for me instead. I am too scared to try and do PU/PD method for when she sleeps on her back ... for now anyway ...
I am thinking that when I come back from vacation , and when she is closer to 4 months, that I will really endeavour to teach her to sleep on her own. By then I will also have recovered and caught up on sleep deprivation . When DD was 6 wks old, I had NO energy whatsoever and was very emotionally weak and neurotic

Pls let me know how it goes !

MichelleM ... did you use PU/PD method for day naps as well ??? Thing is that by the time you triumph, it is time for a feed ect ect ...

Yes Cords, to have best chance of success I think you need to apply PU/PD to naps as well. That was actually when I first started using it, as I reckoned that I would be calmer and more determined to keep at it during the daytime, whereas at night-time I was just so tempted to opt out and breastfeed.
I know what you mean about running into problems with feeds, and at the beginning there were a few times when the settling did run into the "hunger time zone" and I did just lift DS and feed him. After letting him play for a short time after the feed I would just try again and get him to settle. It was tricky, but within a few days he was settling so quickly that this was no longer a problem.

I also think that in doing this I have become more tuned in to DS's body language and cries, as you do end up spending alot of time watching and listening very closely in those few days of training.

MichelleM ... I am not sure if I am brave enough to do this yet as at the moment, I am still enjying her sleeping for longer spells which she never sused to do. But, I am inspired by yr experience, and will look to do this once I have resolved my latest problem ... getting DD to take a bottle as my milk is running low !!!! ...if not one thing then another for me ...I cannot help but feel useless sometimes !

How often did you have to PU yr DS in the early days before he fell asleep ? Did he cry hard during the time ?

I am using the PU/PD technique for day naps for my 10wk old DD as I am now seeing the signs of tiredness, but she does play up. I tend to let DD sleep in her bouncer during the day (so she gets used to day time being different to night) , however when she gets tired I have to PU/PD for a about 6-7 times b4 she goes off. Everytime she goes in the bouncer she cries really angrilly and then when I pick her up she is quiet!!!! what a CHEEKY GIRL!!!I am yet to try this technique at night , especially when playing up at 4:00am and u just want to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!!!

We used the put down, wait for 30 seconds and pick up if still crying method. This worked briliantly with my DS (11 wks) and I think we started about 3 weeks ago but can't be sure. Would have started earlier if I'd know about it.

Took about 25 mins the first time, then only 10, and now either nothing or 1 or 2 PD/PU.

I use this for Daytime naps if I have to but I have only needed to once so far. However, I have made a slight adjustment in that we have a musical mobile that we wind up at bedtime and I don't go back in whilst this is still playing. This gives me 3 mins to have a shower if he doesn't go down......

BR

I am really interested about the pu/pd method. DD is 6 weeks old and will only sleep in her car seat in the daytime - and will only sleep for 2 hours max at night. We have been putting her to bed - or starting to get her ready at 10pm - is this my mistake. Poor wee thing has colic/reflux problems as well which we are due to see the doctor for. After being fed at night - 2-4am she takes about 1 - 2 hours to settle. So I am desperate for something that helps her settle - appreciate that she needs help with reflux and being sick first.

Any suggestions/comments appreciated.

I am really interested about the pu/pd method. DD is 6 weeks old and will only sleep in her car seat in the daytime - and will only sleep for 2 hours max at night. We have been putting her to bed - or starting to get her ready at 10pm - is this my mistake. Poor wee thing has colic/reflux problems as well which we are due to see the doctor for. After being fed at night - 2-4am she takes about 1 - 2 hours to settle. So I am desperate for something that helps her settle - appreciate that she needs help with reflux and being sick first.

Any suggestions/comments appreciated.

Baby Whisperer doesnt recommend PU/PD before 3 months - instead she recommends pat/sshhing in their crib/moses to settle them without a prop.

Lea 2003,
My DS has reflux and is generally sick most nights. He's in a cotbed which we have raised one end by putting cans of tuna under the legs at the head end!!

Although I follow GF I usually feed him about 6.30 and don't put him down till about 7.30. Generally I try to keep him upright for at least an hour after feeds, although this doesn't happen with night feeds as he's very good at going back down. (usually falls asleep on my shoulder before I can wind him). He's on Infant Gaviscon which helps a lot.

I have a bouncy chair which is great 'cos it has a bar for toys so he can play, but is kept in an upright position, although he still manages to chuck up whenever I'm looking the other way. What would I do without my muslins?

Someone gave me this URL which may help you, although I haven't managed to give it more than a cursory glance myself: Living With Reflux

For the colic, I'm using Dr Browns bottles which I find have made a huge difference.

BR

Bunnyrabbit ... when you say first time took 20m mins ...do u mean that eah time you PD, yr DS cried and so you repeated the cycle until he slept ??? Did this not wake yr son up more ? I find DD gets so angry she no longer becomes sleepy

No, I mean the whole lot... DH did it as we thought this was better as DS associates me with food. We were very lucky and I think it took about 5/6 pu/pds.

We were very surprised as bedtime used to consist of DH singing Teddy bears picnic and pacing the house for about an hour while DS threw little tantrems and finally fell asleep.

BR

First attempt took 38mins before DS fell asleep -lifted him 8 times during that, and he was crying very loudly and showed no sign of settling at all until the 37th minute!! So dont be discouraged if your little one cries - just keep telling yourself that you know this is going to help them, that you are holding them to give them comfort, and you know they are not hungry or dirty nappy.....all their cry is for is saying that this is not how they are used to being put to sleep. Give it 40 minutes before taking a break and trying again later. Keep calm and just gently pat your little one on the back and quite loudly say "ssh" just in behind their ear.

Next 2 naps took about 20minutes (about 5 PU) and after that only 5 minutes to go over, and only lifting once if at all.
Most times now i just put DS down and leave the room. He may grumble for a few minutes but then sweet silence. It is also normal by about the third day to encounter a bit of difficulty again, which we did for one nap, but you just follow the same approach, and you're back on track again.

If you have satellite, channel 196 at 3.30pm on weekdays, shows Tracey working her magic, and it is really inspiring.

Again for really detailed notes from interview with Tracey, see below link:
\linkwww.babywhisperer.com/board/download.php?id=717{}

Hope this is some help.

Just to add to what MichelleM says, it's quite amazing how one second DS was creating merry hell, and then it was as if someone had hit the off switch....

BR

I bought the Gina Ford book before dd was born and it absolutely terrified me. As I was a bit of a Discovery addict - all those baby probrammes - when pregnant, saw Tracey Hogg and thought she seemed much more "gentle" in terms of how she deals with babies. Bought the book and have nothing but praise now for her methods. Never bothered to assess whether dd angel, grumpy, spirited or the other. Suspect grumpy! EASY seems much easier to fit into a life that includes going out, occasional lie-ins and responding to dd rather than imposing a rigid, time-obsessed routine.

my neighbour has just been in to ask me to search for something she saw on the baby whisperer programme. Can you help? It was called a heybaidon feeder or something like that. Fitted onto the bottle (some kind of teat!) for mothers who were expressing and meant the baby didn't swallow any wind. Any idea what she was talking about and has anyone tried one.

She is desperate as her 6wk old is waking every hr or so with wind. she wants to keep feeding him herself but I can tell she's getting pretty desperate. She's tried putting him back to the same breast to get more hindmilk and she's treid infacol and fennel tea but no use. Any other suggestions?

If you go onto the Tracy Hogg website www.babywhisperer.com and go into "shopping cart" there's something called a Haberman feeder, if that's any help (sorry, can't work out how to do a link!)

have just started with this and wish I'd come acrss the BW sooner. My ds (no2)is now 10months old and it's much more difficult.
I'm not an advocate of following instructions to the letter and admittedly I* don't follow EASY to the letter but I totally agree with Tracy's "understanding your baby's cues" strategy. However, I think I understand well enough but my dealing with the issues is a little rocky.
After 2 days of CC - I am not supporter of this method so I guess it was never going to work for me. I waS LEFT WITH A TRAUMATISED baby who cried almost all ni]ght (7 hours)
I began reading the BW and got into action.
The first night I did PU PD I thought my nack was going to break but after approx 80 times, he went to sleep, only to wake again at intervals. Second night I took him to bed at 7pm (watched his tired cues) and he went to sleep only to waken sveral times during night and I did PUPD.
Previous to this I though my ds natural rhythm was 11pm.
Then for another 2 nights more of the same. 7pm nighttime and then several night time wakenings but it got better and just patting and being there was enough,

However, it broke last night. Must have mnissed the sleep cue and he went into active baby (at this stage he doesn't look at all tired) Went to put into bed and 730pm and he just crawled aroudn and played boisterously with toys in his cot. i couldn't leave the room tho. Stayed for 30 mins and got fed up and then took ds out into living room but turned off the tv.
After 1-1.5 hrs, took him in with more milk and he settled half asleep into the cot for a few hours.
As I was tired I stayed and slept in that room from the 2nd waking at aboutn midnight.
So I have multiple questions :

1. am i now a prop to get him to resettle?
2. how can I get him to sleep longer and waking less?
3. if doesn't seem tired, PU PD doesn't work with such an old baby - so should I take out of room and try again later?
4. less sleep one day doesn't make him more ti5red the next! - is this normal?
5. wakes earlier in the mornming so i would like him to go to bed 1 hr later and sleep later!

I'm getting increasingly confused - also I think he's probably a spirited baby as opposed to my dd who is more angel/textbook.

i',m also worried about hearing the answers as I am loathe to fit in everyone else's needs with my ds schedule - as much as Tracy says it's flexible - it obviously isn't if my ds can get pass his window of opportunity so quickly!!! Rant rant rave rave - he's such a great fun bb otherwise - just make him sleep through the night please!

I have just started reading the baby whisperer and doing the EASY routine - my son is 21 weeks but is slowly but surely taking to this routine - the only thing is that rather than E A S Y we are doing E S A does this matter or should i really be pushing to do it the EASY way?

OuiOui, I am very interseted in the answers to your questions too! My dd is nearly 9 months and used to wake several times a night for a feed and settle. Now realise I shouldn't have complained about that as she's taken to not settling after these days and will cry if we leave her. I have tried cc, but know I can't stick with it. Would prefer pu/pd but everytime I put her down again she stands up! Do I just keep doing it? Also, if they still haven't settled after 40mins, what do you do?
Even when I spot her tired signs she still doesn't settle so ends up overtired and wanting to play. During daytime I often just get her up again, but I'm sure thats just teaching her if she cries for me I get up and play with her, night or day.

Has anyone had any success with pu/pd with an older baby and if so, how long did it take?