I have a 20 week old DD. DS is just over 2. DD was an amazing baby for 3 months - fed and slept really well. Only ever had one feed at 4am during the night, even when she started refusing milk at her dream feed (10pm). Then it all started going a bit wrong and now I don't know where I am. She started wakign at 4am again. Refuses bottles. Doesn't need a feed at 4 ( I think - well she won't take a full feed at 7am if I do feed her) but it seems the only way to get her back to sleep (when I do feed her when she wakes in the night I then lie there for hours wondering if I am doing the right thing etc etc). Am basically at the end of my tether and sending myself spiralling into self doubt and worry. She is teething so I am loathe to leave her to self settle as she may be in pain. She settles really well at 7pm and for her daytime naps (one at 9.15 for 45 mins and another 2 hour nap at 12.30). She usually also has a 15 min doze just before 5. She self settles for all her sleeps but at night she just won't go back to sleep unless I feed her or sit there for hours with my pinky in her mouth. I have tried that on numerous occasions and she is fine - doesn't cry etc, so I know its not waking for feeds but with a 2 year old to look after in the day as well I am so tired I just don't feel like I am coping or doing the right thing by him.
Should I feed her in the night? SHould I shove the little finger in and rock her for hours - meaning of course I get less sleep? Last night she woke at flippin 1.30? And then again at 5.30 - I ended up feeding her and of course she didn't feed properly at 7am and has not been feeding well all day.
HV says just keep feeding her in the night but surely if that means she isn't feeding her in the day I am going to spiral into a situation whereby she is expecting feeds at night and not so much in the day.
God, sorry, didn't mean to rant, but with DS I had my NCT support group all goign through the same stuff at the same time. I guess I feel pretty alone in all this. DH helps but as DD won't take bottle there is little he can do. Just feeling at the end of my tether. Any advice very welcome..... My head says don't feed her at night, she doesn't need it, she's just looking for comfort. Not so easy at 4am when you know 10 mins on the boob and she'll go back to sleep..... but then crap day tomorrow. ARGH!!!