Help me get 3yo DS2 to sleep. I am desperate.

[Kayzr]

DS2 won't go to sleep. Its been a problem for the past few weeks since he had a bad cold.

Before the cold he would go to bed with DS1 at 7pm. They had a story and a cuddle and then I would come downstairs. Occasionally they would chat to each other but most nights they were both asleep by half 7.

Then a few weeks ago DS2 got a pretty bad cough and cold. He was much worse on a night and would be coughing a lot. This is where it all went wrong as they have to share a room. DS2 would keep DS1 up with his coughing and crying so I would bring DS2 downstairs or into my bed for a cuddle. Eventually between 10-11pm he would drop of and I could get him into his bed. 3 times he slept in my bed with me as I was feeling ill too and didn't want the arguement with him.

However now he is better he just will not go to bed, I know he is probably confused by the being able to stay downstairs with me and now he can't.

He also keeps falling asleep at about 5pm which is obviously not helping things. Mon, Wed and Thurs he is at playschool in the morning. I tried to put him for a nap today at roughly 1pm in an attempt to stop him being so tired at 5ish. But today it was met with screams and crying. After 20 minutes I decided he wasn't tired and brought him downstairs. Then after getting DS1 from school I went to start dinner at roughly half 4 and when I came back into the front room DS2 was fast asleep on the floor.

They went to bed at 7pm. DS2 is still going strong with the screaming and crying. I have been up more times than I care to remember, I have got into bed with him, I have sat next to him, I have stood just outside the door, I have sat in my room and I have tried sitting downstairs ignoring him.

DP works away so it is just me to sort this out. I am shattered emotionally as I just want him to sleep. He is so obviously tired but keeps fighting it.

I half want to go and get him and have a big cuddle but it won't help matters and tomorrow night will be just as hard if I go and get him.

Help me please

My DS is 2.7 and is up from 6am, just after 12.30 he goes down for a nap until 3pm then bed at 7.30pm. Easier said than fine I know but have you tried tiring him out in a morning so he crashed after lunch? Anyway of keeping him occupied around the tea time so be doesn't crash? I know you may already have tried these things, sorry if they are nothing new!! Reward chart could be introduced. Hope you get him sorted soon.

He gets pretty tired out at playschool 3 times a week. But still hates going for a nap. Plus we have to walk to do the school run.

HV told me a month or so ago that he shouldn't be napping anymore and now he's dropped his nap he is a nightmare.

Health visitors.....don't you just love them (sorry, nice and competent health visitors out there...) Some kids do still need to nap until quite a bit after their 3rd birthdays. I would say DD really only grew out of her need for them at about 3 1/2. It's quite hard to reintroduce a nap when they think they've gotten too big for one. Do you have a car? I know it's not ideal but maybe if you think he still needs a nap, you could drive him around for a bit when he would have had a nap in the old days. Might be a crazy idea; pushchair another option if he goes to sleep in that. Either that or really push him to stay awake until about 6 pm and then put him to bed for the night - super-early but if he is falling asleep then he is obviously very tired like you say.

I think it is quite common for children to have sleep regressions after illnesses. Like you say, they become habituated to the new routine that happened when they were ill.

I think at 3 he is maybe old enough to sit down with and have a little chat about why he was allowed to stay downstairs/ sleep in your bed occasionally when he was ill, but now he's all better it's time for him to be a big boy again etc etc etc.

I don't for a minute imagine this will solve the bedtime protests/ waking, but it's a starting point. I think then you have to decide what you're going to do with the bedtime refusal and stick to it. E.g., if you've decided that you're going to ignore him, then you have to do that every single time until he eventually goes to sleep.

Sorry, that might not be much help but it sounds painful so I also wanted to bump for you...