13 month old falls asleep in arms but won't settle in cot - have you experienced this?

[shepster]

Hi all. I have posted a lot recently, so I do apologise if you are getting tired of my queries. Sleep deprivation has weakened me though. I recently posted about nursing LO (13 month DS) to sleep, which I am happy to do. Trouble is NOW (after a year of other types of sleep challenges) he will go down easily at night around 7, but when he wakes during the night, I am at pains to get him to settle back in his cot. He falls asleep just fine on me, but, just when I think I'm safe to put him down, he arches his little back and protests or sits up immediately upon hitting the cot. Takes at least 1 hour and up to 2 hours to resettle, and this happens at least 2x per night. Tried pick up put down, but to no avail (and I think it just stressed him out more.) Anyone else encounter this? Will this phase pass like so many others?

Hi!
I'd be interested to hear any tips as well! I know what you're going through and can totally relate to the hell of long term sleep deprivation. DD1 slept through beautifully from very early on and DD2 (now 15 months) has yet to do so. We have also resorted to feeding back to sleep, something I said previously I would NEVER do, but found that we have just gone for what works.
My DH does the night feeds with her and has is a great deal better at it than me, perhaps because of less emotional attachment?
Would you consider him sleeping the rest of the night in your bed? Not to everyone's taste I know, but if it gets all of you some much-needed rest...?

Could u warm the mattress? A hot water bottle maybe? Might b worth a shot...

I've bought a flannel fitted sheet to make the bed warmer, but will consider the hot water bottle idea. I don't think that is it though. While a horrible sleeper to start with, this new "will only sleep in mum's arms at night" phase is new. At least before, when we were waking up every 2 hours, I could BF and put him in his cot relatively quickly. I just don't have the energy right now to try putting him asleep awake or continue with the pick up put down method (which was pretty horrible for both of us.) I am hoping that this is just a phase associated with some developmental milestones. And, surroundedbyblondes, I do the same: feed to sleep. I really didn't know any different to start with, and now it's a routine. A lot of women do it though and their babies eventually learn to sleep on their own. Let's hope this happens for us!

We had some problems with DD at about 14 months as she always fell asleep in our arms and in the evening it was taking up to 1 hour with lots of wriggling and getting in and out of her cot. We (reluctantly) decided to do controlled crying, but a very light version. So we left her to cry for 2 min, then resettled, then 3 min, then 4 min. She was asleep within the 4 min period the first few time and within a week it was within the 2 min period. Now she goes down without any crying and it has also resulted in fewer night wakings (or at least ones we hear). I don't know if this is something you would consider, but it worked quickly and with very little stress for us. We do get the occassional night waking when DD is poorly now and do go to her and comfort and rock her if it lasts for more than a couple of minutes but we can hear from her cry whether it is escalating or just a sleepy cry. We gave it a week to see if it was going to work, otherwise we would have stopped.

I used controlled crying on my first and it does totally work even though really hard but a few days should do it good luck !!

Hi breatheslowly, that sounds like something I might consider. When you say you resettled after 2 minutes, 3, etc., did you get DD out of the cot to resettle and did you wait until completely calm before putting her back in? I am sure that DS will stay sitting in cot for a long while or even stand up. Did your DD start out sitting and the move herself to a lying position? Did you talk to her at all, like tell her "Nighttime, time to sleep", those types of mantras?

We didn't entirely agree on how to resettle her, so I am not sure we were consistent (and it took such a short time that I actually can't fully remember). If we needed to go in she would generally be standing up. I think I generally just lay her down again (or possibly told her to lie down), put my hand on her back, said something like "it's night time, it's time to go to sleep" and waited until her breathing calmed back down, with a maximum time of 2 minutes in the room. I think DH might have picked her up as he finds walking/rocking her easy and effective. He didn't agree with the maximum 2 minutes in the room thing, so he may have stayed longer if it took longer to calm her down. I would avoid picking up as I think it may remind your DS of the falling asleep on mummy association instead of falling asleep in the cot, but that is my instinct and you need to decide what would be right for you. Also DD has a comforter so that was in the cot with her even if she wasn't in my arms.

To be honest you can do it any way you like as long as you are reasonably consistent. All the things I read said you should go in after 5 min then 10 min etc, but we couldn't leave DD to cry for that long so we did the same sort of thing that we had seen suggested but tailored it for our personal preferences.

Thanks for that. I will discuss with DP and see if we can give it a go. Who knows, he has DS by himself the whole weekend (a first for all of us!). May be that that does the trick. Thanks for sharing!