Warning: long message. to summarize, my son is 15 weeks, & he's never slept for long without being held. So he's never gone "to bed".
I suppose this happened from a combination of reflux and being born 5 weeks early - in the beginning he took so long to FF (jaundice, poor suck, etc.) that he'd take up to two hours to feed, then he'd need to be held upright because of the reflux, then he'd soon have to feed again. so we just held him constantly, taking shifts during the night.
As he started to thrive a bit more, he still wouldn't sleep if he was set down in his cot (which is angled upright for reflux) - he'd either wake up immediately, or he'd get stressed and milk would start coming out of his nose, or he'd vomit, etc. I tried building a cosy nest out of blankets, but that didn't work.
so we continued to hold him.
At 3 months actual (to the day), he became a bit more independent. He could happily kick around in his cot for a good 10 minutes even if we weren't right there.
We were even able to put him on his tummy and after a while he was able to sleep for stretches like that, until once he refluxed out of his nose and couldn't breathe so we decided not to try that anymore. He's fairly strong, but he can't roll yet.
He is starting to sleep for longish stretches in the night (in our arms). He's created his own routine of sleeping from around 6 until midnight and then again until 3am (which is when i wake up for my shift and when he seems to wake up for the day). He usually takes a nap in the late morning and cluster feeds throughout the afternoon. Occasionally I can get him to sleep for about 30 minutes in a bouncy chair, which was a miracle when it first happened a couple of weeks ago.
Despite having to put up with all sorts of reflux misery, he's really a happy sweet baby. And we can almost manage the schedule of staying up with him in shifts, even if it's straining our marriage resources. but it would just be nice for him to actually go into some sort of bed and stay there for a few hours. And it would be nice to sleep in the same bed as my husband.
So, not sure what to do now. Is there something that will help him eventually transition into sleeping? I'm a FTM so maybe I am expecting too much? Still, it seems that other people have little babies who actually lie down in a bed and sleep - even if only for a couple of hours.
I haven't tried co-sleeping; this may work as he seems to be comforted by closeness. And now that he's less tiny, it doesn't seem as scary. Is that the thing to do? Where do I start?
Oh dear. Sorry to write so much.