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Nearly 15 month old screaming blue murder during night and sometimes at bedtime

5 replies

daisystone · 17/02/2012 19:45

My DD has never been a particularly great sleeper and we have only had a handful of nights where she has slept through. Over the last month or so she has been waking in the night and screaming. I mean really really screaming so that I thought something was really wrong and she was seriously ill. I have now ruled out serious illness but think she is or was teething again. I was so worried one night that I called my mum and she drove over just to give me her opinion. DD would not even let her grandma hold her (and she loves her grandma a lot) it had to be me or she would get hysterical again.

Literally every time I go to put her back in her cot or lay her down, she screams blue murder again. There is no way to stop it apart from letting her cry herself to sleep and it is beyond awful doing that. I am separated at the moment and so am dealing with this on my own which is hard.
Last night she was amazing. She went down just after 7pm and slept until 6am and then put herself back to sleep until 7am.
However, I put her down at 7.15pm tonight and then 10 mins later the screaming started. I went in to her and encouraged her to lie down by patting the mattress but did not pick her up and did not engage too much ( no talking just shushing). When I let the room the screaming started again. It has been going on since then. I can't bare the thought of another 3 hour stretch of screaming where she gets herself so hysterical her throat must be so sore and she makes herself sweat and get red in the face.

What can I do? I have read so many books on sleep. They all suggest different things. Do I just have to wait it out and if so - when will it get better? What is the magic age? Will she still be doing this when she is 4???? She is such a good girl in all other ways but she is so willfull and I sometimes feel as though she is testing me to see who will give in first. Both my husband and myself are very stubborn so she must have got that from us....

Advice ladies before I go crazy! Thanks.

OP posts:
omama · 17/02/2012 21:04

(((hugs))) My sister had a similar situation with her little girl when she & her partner split & it was terribly hard for her so I feel for your situation.

I know this is a bit of a personal question & hope you don't mind me asking, but how recently have you and your husband separated? If its a recent thing then she may be feeling quite confused/insecure & so needing some extra reassurance from you.

Can I ask what her daytime routine is like? Does she nap? What time/how long for? I think it just helps to know this to rule out routine as an issue here.

Chubfuddler · 17/02/2012 21:06

Night terrors. She isn't really awake when she screams like this. Ds used to do it at that age, best thing was to scoop him up, cuddle close and take into another room until it subsided.

PaigeTurner · 17/02/2012 21:50

I've just been through two weeks of the same with DS and he's 13mo. I knew it wasn't illness as he would stop all screaming if I took him into my bed. Have you tried that?

When he wouldnt sleep at bedtime I had to get my mum to sit with him (am a single parent) as I was too tired to remain calm and it did feel like a battle of wills!

After two weeks it just stopped and he was good as gold, back in his cot...

Hope it passes soon.

daisystone · 18/02/2012 07:59

Well she naps really well in the day. Goes down about 9.30am-10.00am and sleeps for an hour and a quarter to an hour and a half then goes down again between 2.15-2.45 and sleep for an hour and a half (sometimes a little less). Bedtime is 7pm every night give or take 15 mins.

My husband and I separated some months back and my DD and i moved into a new home at the beginning of January. When we first moved she slept great for a few nights and then the awfulness started. So it is more likely to be the house than my husband I think as she is used to it being just me and her.

Last night she finally went off to sleep at 8.pm and she woke again at 3am and we had half an hour of crying - so not as bad as some nights

OP posts:
ledkr · 18/02/2012 08:19

Its separation anxiety, dd is 13 months and went through this about a month ago.I tried all the sleep stuff before finally deciding that if she was feeling anxious i would respond accordingly and comfort her when she woke.I just sat with her on mylap for about 10 mins then lay her down whilst talking chirpily to her then left but returned immediately she cried so i was hardly out of the door.It worked within 2 days ands she now sleeps 12 hrs and goes down awake every night which she didnt do before.
Dont underestimate the effect of your breakup.My other dd was about the same age when i split with my h,she developed mouth uncers and was waking a lot too,she went on to be a fairly anxious child and still is at 10 although we have made great strides. My h was never around either so this surprised me.
Young children cannot articulate their feelings about loss so they internalise them which is far worse.

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