Deprived family - 6 month old baby, help

karvakg · 2012-02-15T16:56:26+00:00

HELP ME GUYS. In our desperate days of not sleeping through months we left our our baby CIO, since then my baby is not crying which really makes hard to communicate with him. I have the feeling CIO is the reason he is not crying anymore (i dont know when he is hungry, or needs cuddling, sleepy etc.). He is 6 month old now. He seems a happy baby, but i have the feeling he has no feelings for me, he does not like being in my palms etc. I am also a case of mom who had a postnatal depression (i am still on medicaments) I want to fix this, i want to gain my sons trust back, help me how can i achieve this? I feel very bad for this whole situation and i regret A LOT that i have let him down in the past. I am concerned as he is not sleeping through the nights, he is awake sometimes for a 3 hours /wakes somewhere around 2 oclock / and does not know how to fall asleep. He wants to play if we walk in to make him sleep. Neither me and my husband we cannot get rest as the baby is awake. We cannot apply PU/PD as he is not asking for a help to sleep, but in the morning we are all sleep deprived including the baby.

Original poster

karvakg · 15/02/2012 16:57

I read a lot abot babies that stop communicating whilst they were left to cry out. I think this is the case with us :(

OP posts:

OneLittleBabyGirl · 15/02/2012 18:55

Don't be so hard on yourself. FWIW I'm a bf, baby led, (sometimes) cosleeping mum and my LO also doesn't always cry when she wakes at night either. If she cries I always responds with a feed or a cuddle whatever she wants.

Is he crawling yet? What I have done pre crawling days is take my DD into my bed if she's in this sociable mood. If I leave her in her cot she kept babbling and no way we could sleep with that. However she quiets down if she's snugged up to us and will eventually fall asleep on her own.

Ofc every baby is different. You just have to find a way that can get you all some sleep whatever that way is.

Original poster

karvakg · 16/02/2012 06:59

Hi, OneLittleGirl,
yes, he is crawling, however this situation we are in, it takes already more then a month.
His wakings are every morning at different time and this also does not allow me to know when he is tired, since the cues are missed due to the bad night sleeps , actually he is tired all the time.

OP posts:

omama · 16/02/2012 14:37

(((hugs))) hun.

Long wakeful periods can often occur when they are hitting new developmental milestones such as crawling, but they can also be caused by having too much daytime sleep or having naps at the wrong time of day eg too close to bedtime.

Can you post what is his daytime routine like ATM? Wakeup time, nap times & durations & bedtime?

Original poster

karvakg · 18/02/2012 10:38

Hello omama,
since he is waking at different times i am putting him to bed when i see his eyes are closing....he yawns already in the morning immediately after his wakeup so i assume the night sleep was no enough to him, since he was deprived for a months,and he cannot make it up.
since 2 days we tried to put him to a bed early for a night, and seems he sleeps 12 hours from 5:30pm till 5:30am or similar, however if i try to put him for the first nap in the morning, which is 2 hours after his WT he fights against sleeping, he is playing or talking, like he is overtired and he sleeps max 45 min.
due to this i have no schedule for feeding or sleeping...its totaly messed up....

OP posts:

omama · 18/02/2012 14:37

Sounds like a couple of early nights have done him some good

If your LO is fighting nap time, is playing/talking & is sleeping just 45mins, I would hazard a guess he actually isn't tired enough to sleep any longer. Between 6-7 months many babies suddenly start to be able to stay awake for much longer, possibly nearer to 2.5 or even 3hrs. So could you try gradually pushing his naptime a bit later, maybe by 5 or 10mins every 3-5 days until he goes down for his nap after 2.5hrs, and see if that makes a difference to how long he sleeps for.

I also wanted to ask how many times does he nap during the day? 6 months is around the age when little ones drop the catnap & if he's still having it, this may also be adding to your issues.xx

Original poster

karvakg · 19/03/2012 08:00

the latest update...
my son is awake somewhere from 3am and does not know how to fall back to sleep, i am afraid for his health...
since he is overtired for months, his daily naps are short.. i try to put him to sleep at 7:30 am (since he is awake from 3 am), than at 11, 13 and 16-17, he sleeps max 1 hours..
he is not crying so i do not know how to help him to sleep...

OP posts:

hardboiledpossum · 19/03/2012 12:47

I would try and start a brand new routine. If you can't read his tired signs then just go with timings. Not all babies cry when they are tired. Can you feed him or cuddle him to sleep? A rough routine for a 6 month old baby could look like this, but adapt to suit you both; wake 7am, nap 9.30am, wake 10, nap 1, wake 2.30, bed 7pm. He might still need a 15 minute nap in the evening.

Tinasmith27 · 29/09/2013 20:56

Hello karvakg, please can you post how you got on with your baby? I hope everything worked out ok. My LO is 6 months next week and I have very similar problems, but think they are alot worse as she is not eating properly. We have not done any CIO sleep training but LO had bad digestive issues and constipation when she was younger so she was doing small cries and moaning throughout the night, after all the sleep deprivation we were only able to go to her when she cried out properly as it was the only way to know she was properly awake. Now as she doesn't know how to put herself to sleep (we always either rocked or fed to sleep at bedtime) she just lies there awake only sometimes crying out. As she doesn't eat much in the day we feed when cries at night. She has never had a routine so feeding and sleeping is all over the place. I too have had PND and feel like a terrible mum for never have being able to provide any consistency to my LO over the months. We have just started weaning as LO is very distracted and wont ask for food even after 4 hrs and does not drain the bottle, as she doesn't have feed times weaning is very difficult. . every day is different but at the moment her day looks like this -

7amish - porridge sometimes takes other times doesnt, then bottle - usually only takes 4 ounces
9amish - 45min nap (sometimes just lies there looking glazed
11amish - bottle - usually only takes 2 ounces
12 or 1pm nap - sleeps approx 45mins then again lies there looking glazed, or briefly opens and closes eyes at any small sound
2/3pm - bottle - usually takes 4 or 5 ounces
2pm onwards cranky
4pmish sometimes one more nap
5.30pm offered fruit usually takes but will not take bottle
6.30 to 7pm massage & bath and bedtime bottle - sometimes screams and will not take bottle other times will feed to sleep taking 4 ounces
10/11pm awake - bottle 3-5 ounces
2amish - awake - bottle 3-5 ounces
3.30ish - awake - try to settle for long time, if all else fails bottle - 4-5 ounces
4-5amish - sleeping fitfully/irratically on and off but not crying out (small winges only)
7amish we go in and start the day again

Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated, we are in such a mess, i love my LO to bits and really want to fix this but don't even know where to start

Tinasmith27 · 29/09/2013 20:57

Hello karvakg, please can you post how you got on with your baby? I hope everything worked out ok. My LO is 6 months next week and I have very similar problems, but think they are alot worse as she is not eating properly. We have not done any CIO sleep training but LO had bad digestive issues and constipation when she was younger so she was doing small cries and moaning throughout the night, after all the sleep deprivation we were only able to go to her when she cried out properly as it was the only way to know she was properly awake. Now as she doesn't know how to put herself to sleep (we always either rocked or fed to sleep at bedtime) she just lies there awake only sometimes crying out. As she doesn't eat much in the day we feed when cries at night. She has never had a routine so feeding and sleeping is all over the place. I too have had PND and feel like a terrible mum for never have being able to provide any consistency to my LO over the months. We have just started weaning as LO is very distracted and wont ask for food even after 4 hrs and does not drain the bottle, as she doesn't have feed times weaning is very difficult. . every day is different but at the moment her day looks like this -

7amish - porridge sometimes takes other times doesnt, then bottle - usually only takes 4 ounces
9amish - 45min nap (sometimes just lies there looking glazed
11amish - bottle - usually only takes 2 ounces
12 or 1pm nap - sleeps approx 45mins then again lies there looking glazed, or briefly opens and closes eyes at any small sound
2/3pm - bottle - usually takes 4 or 5 ounces
2pm onwards cranky
4pmish sometimes one more nap
5.30pm offered fruit usually takes but will not take bottle
6.30 to 7pm massage & bath and bedtime bottle - sometimes screams and will not take bottle other times will feed to sleep taking 4 ounces
10/11pm awake - bottle 3-5 ounces
2amish - awake - bottle 3-5 ounces
3.30ish - awake - try to settle for long time, if all else fails bottle - 4-5 ounces
4-5amish - sleeping fitfully/irratically on and off but not crying out (small winges only)
7amish we go in and start the day again

Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated, we are in such a mess, i love my LO to bits and really want to fix this but don't even know where to start