How can I teach my 12 week old dd to self settle?

[shirleycat1]

She generally sleeps well on the move - car/sling/pushchair, but rarely drops off on her own. If I put her in her cot she just lies there eyes wide open for ages and then starts to cry which develops into a big cry if I don't go to her. She will feed to sleep but wakes when boob disappears rooting around.

I have 2.9 year old ds so sitting about for hours with my boob in her mouth isn't really an option.

I think she sometimes wakes at night and wants a boob rather than actually wanting food.

Ds did it but I've no idea how I taught him.

Thanks in advance...

Just seen your other thread and watching both for some tips! Will post on the other about our 'routine'...

Babies like to suck to sleep. If you leave her she should eventually find her own fingers/thumb. You could also give her a dummy and see if she takes to it. Not all kids do, but some find them very soothing.

Thanks. She doesn't like a dummy and I'm pretty anti dummy to be honest so I'm not wanting to persist with it. Loads of people I know with dummies also have to go in and replace it when it falls out. It's self settling without a sucking/rocking prop I'm looking for. And with minimal crying!

Well in that case I would just persist with what you're doing. Go in and give her a pat and a soothing word regularly, so she knows you're there. Anything else is a crutch that she'll get used to and miss if it's not there.

I did a mixture of stroking to sleep and rapid return to teach DS to self settle. I would place him in his moses basket drowsy but awake and leave, if he cried I would come back and stroke him but not pick him up and then leave again when he stopped crying. I started this when he was a few weeks old and I think it took a couple of weeks. I think it really depends on your child though. I would never have done this if he seemed very upset but I was happy to leave him to grizzle. At around 7 months he lost the ability to self settle when he developed separation anxiety, at that stage he would become incredibly distressed when I left the room so I started stroking him to sleep again. What works for one baby might not work for another and it can all change so quickly at that age.

Looking for some pearls of wisdom myself for my 5 mo. Will be watching. I'm tackling nap times first putting DD down in her cot.

My DD is 14 weeks and a 3yo and at 10 weeks I started trying to get DD to sleep in her cot - put her down when she was showing first signs of tiredness, popped her lightshow on, gave her a kiss and left. I would let her cry for 2 mins and then go back in and put my hand on her chest, sometimes she would stop crying but not usually. I would keep going in every 2 mins, if she ever sounded upset (usually she just sounded frustrated that she couldn't sleep) I would pick her up and cuddle her till she was calm and then put her back down.

This doesn't work for everyone but I felt DD needed to learn to self settle as she wouldn't fall asleep on the breast or in a sling or in the buggy all the time.

It only took a few days then she cries for 5 mins max (occasional bad nap though) although now we are back to square one as we are trying to de-swaddle

HTH!

and.... I have a ....3yo!

Thanks Terry - what did your 3 year old do while you were in and out?

Dd is also swaddled and I don't even want to think about deswaddling at the moment.

Ds at nursery this morning and with a bit of a fight dd has managed to get to sleep in her moses basket. It took a while though and would have been significantly more stressful had ds been around.