How long would you leave your baby to cry at night?

[spewgloriousspew]

Our 9 1/2 month old gets to sleep ok, then wakes up after a couple of hours and that's it. He will scream and scream until we come and soothe him by picking him up. It's only the past week that he's been like this, but husband and I are now at breaking point - we've barely slept past midnight for the last week. I'm on the verge of tears most of the day as I'm just so tired.

We've tried controlled crying - 10 mins, then increasing it by a couple of mins up to 20 minutes. But it's not making a jot of difference.

I want to leave him to cry it out, but am aware that others think this is a bad idea. So, please don't judge me. I'll be in bed, probably crying while he does it, but I just can't take much more.

But, if you have left your baby to cry, how long did it take? Is there any point at which you do go in?

Why do you give calpol?

Never left mine to cry, but it is all down to personal choice I suppose.

Because at the time he was teething and occasionally seemed to bit quite a bit in pain. NOT for potential drowsiness side effect. We juts wanted to rule the plain factor out.

"Well, I rest my case when I say some people will make you feel shit about it"

I am really not trying to make you feel shit. Do you feel shit about it because of me?

I give calpol, I just give it when my baby is ill rather than as a precaution. I didn't realise people gave it as a precaution and before CC. I see you said " Just to make sure he was not in pain, we gave him Calpol before bed" and have clarified that he was teething so really I can understand that you would give calpol.

sorry.

Nah, don't worry. I don't feel shit!
I don't know if other people do it but that's what we did.

sorry again. I am often judgemental and need to stop myself from causing offence.

We all are!

Not wanting to sound more judgemental, but I don't like CC and I think a LOT of poor sleeping habits can be prevented from the word go - which would then rule out the need for CC.

I was in the position of resorting to CC but luckily read a few books and realised there was another reason for my daughter's poor nighttime sleep which was a poor daytime routine. When I sorted her days out, the nights followed.

I read so many threads on here about going with the flow, but in my humble opinion, unless you have a child who is a naturally good sleeper and who sorts themselves out as they grow older, going with the flow just turns into toddlers (and parents) with 'sleeping problems'.

Sorry... rant over... :)

It's not for me, I co-sleep with my LO, would never leave her to cry. I don't have a problem with her cuddling or BF to sleep. After she was born I had about 8 hours sleep over a week and it was only when I decided to bedshare that this changed.

I think everyone needs to go with their instincts really. No two children/situations are the same and what's right for you may not be for others.

OP can you and your husband take turns every night or give each other a five hour block while the other deals with your DS? Wear earplugs if necessary? There's no reason for you both to be up each night.

CC (after 10 months) has worked fine with most of my children. Providing you have a good daily routine and baby is fed, changed and checked for any problems, illnesses and infections thoroughly - there can be nothing wrong with helping your child gain a little independence. Frankly, I think that people who choose to co-sleep with their children are doing more damage that good, as it becomes the norm to the child. Mothers who do this are doing it because THEY enjoy it. Trying to get a child back into their own beds after a long time of co-sleeping can be harder than trying to have a baby get to sleep through the night in their own beds.

I think all first time parents molly cuddle their first born, when one has subsequent children, they realise how robust these little creatures can be and that they are masters of manipulation. If you let them, they will rule your bed and your sleep cycle.

I am really at how leaving babies to cry is justified with words such as gift, or help... what is wrong with a baby or small child wanting a bit of comfort, even if they are fed and have a clean nappy? As for masters of manipulation... no comment. It's just sad to think of a baby as manipulative...

There is a middle ground, it doesn't have to be CC/CIO or co-sleeping.

My DD is a crap sleeper and always has been (she's 15 months now). I have tried controlled crying. It doesn't work as well as the books say. If I take my DD into my bed she doesn't go to sleep she just starts climbing all over me and the pillows and suddenly it is play time. just doesn't work . When she was smaller it didn't work because she could just roll out of bed - so not safe.

Longest I have probably left her to cry is about 1 hour. It felt more like 10 hours - it was really really horrible. That is unusual though and normally she would not cry for longer than half and hour. I have tried the going in after 5, 10, 20 mins etc. I have tried the hardcore not going in at all. Tried it all.

You have to do what you think is best. You know your baby and you know if she is ill or not. If you have any suspicion that your baby is ill then DON'T leave her to cry. If you are not sure if they are teething or not then give them a dose of calpol when they start to scream.

I am not a cruel person at all and I love my baby and look after her incredibly well so I know that me leaving her to cry is not cruelty. It is simply trying different techniques to see what works. So far, nothing works faultlessly! There seems to be no sure fire fix. Thank God for my mother who has my DD for the odd day and then I can go to bed and sleep for an afternoon.

Can you get someone to mind your babe so you can sleep during the day?