11 1/2 MO waking early morning (3am ish) and not wanting to sleep. what would you do?

[multicolourcat]

DD is waking around 3am and will stay in her cot lying down and drousy if we stroke/pat her. did this for 1 1/2 hours this mornig. But she doesn't actually drop into a deep sleep and gets really upset as soon as we stop and bascially seems to want to get up. After 1 1/2 hours we had had enough. we have never left her to cry and wondered whether we should do a bit? I have always been very gentle with her, probably too much so and she is very mumsy, but i am starting to feel really annoyed! There didn't seem to be any problem, i think it was a case that she just didn't want to sleep. In the end i took her into the single bed in her room and cuddled her tight whilst she cried away and skwirmed to get free and eventually she fell asleep. I didn't know what else to do, I can't stand by her cot for hours patting her.

What would you do? I am really not interested in letting her Cry it out, but wondering if we need to get a bit firmer with her?

Would you try controlled crying?

What time does she go to bed MCC?
Would it be worth putting bedtime back half an hour, not anything too stimulating but a bit extra looking at books,extra bit of milk to srink or later supper?

I know controlled crying is difficult but maybe don't go into her straight away when she wakes, see if she can grizzle herself back to sleep?

If you do go in don't talk to her, stroke her back but look away no eye contact.

I'll try & think of some of the other things I did!

She was going to bed at 8pm, but recently we were trying to move it to 7/7.30. What time is recommended?

No standard time-depends on the child. If you have moved bedtime earlier that might be your clue.

I know it's nice to get them down earlier so you have a bit of the evening to yourselves, but I'm sure you'd rather have a good nights sleep!

Try going back to 8pm and give her a good stodgy supper about 7.00, some weetabix, porridge maybe a banana and a good feed of milk. They sometimes wake when their blood sugars drop as they get older.

Whatever you decide to do stick at it for at least a week to get her used to a routine even if it seems not to be working, it's so easy to keep trying other things when it seems not to work.

Above all repeat to yourself "It's only a phase, it's only a phase"

Thanks bossy and when you say about controlled crying, can you explain what to do a bit? I am so adverse to her crying, that I have no idea how much other people will let their babies cry, but I am prepared to let her cry a little bit now, as i think she is old enough

Well the way I did it (because I was a wuss & soft hearted!) was to start leaving her for 5 minutes.

Go in if still crying tuck her in. Hand on head/back
"night night darling sleepy time now." Give a kiss & withdraw.

You'll probably get the outraged "Whaddya mean night night??!" wail but found I could harden my heart to a cross bellow rather than the heart rending cry if you get me!

Leave the room for increasing amounts of time start with 5 mins then 10 minutes or longer of you can stand it. Minimal contact or fussing when you do go in.

Do you have a DH/Dp who can take a turn?
Often once they realise that Mum & Dad are being no fun and aren't getting up they'll give in and the natural tiredness will kick in.

Good luck!