15 week baby - won't go to sleep

[ccbear]

My 2nd son is 15 weeks old. Since he was 5 weeks old I've been attempting a bedtime routine - bath, bottle (he's usually breastfed but I've been trying a bottle at bed time), a kiss and into cot. No 2 nights have been the same but he used to sleep for abou 40 minutes (some nights not), then wake up and eventually settle once we went to bed about 10.30. He would sleep well, waking usually for 1 good feed. i would b'feed him, put him back in cot and he would settle himself in 5-10minutes. The last week has been a nightmare - he will only sleep in our bed. I've tried everything I can think of - bottle, b'feed, putting in bed awake, gently waking before putting in cot, b'feeding to sleep then transferring, a mild version of controlled crying and lifting him after a minute of crying until he's settled and then puttig him back to bed.
I seem to spend hours trying to get him to sleep, neglecting my older boy in the process. He will sleep in the car / buggy and sometimes sleeps on when brought into the house.

Any advice greatfully received! My back can't cope with much more co-sleeping!

Hi there, what do his days look like? I'm a firm believer that you can't work out what's wrong with the nights until you know the days are all in (relative) order! How much/often does he sleep during the day and how often is he feeding?

The bedtime routine sounds great and I would continue doing it even if he fights against it. Try not to co-sleep unless you want to do it long-term as it will become an association for him which will be hard to break (and unfair on him in the long term). Are you sure he's not ill?

daytime sleeping wasn't too bad until about a week ago. He would go for a sleep about an hour after waking. Then again about lunchtime. A late afternoon sleep would only have been in my arms or in car. I tried to make sure he settled himself at least once a day. 1 sleep would usually have been in buggy or car seat. Occasionally he would have had a mega sleep - 3-4 hours (although these were usually in car seat).
He stopped doing everything about a week ago. We were at granny's house but had already been there a few days and had slept perfectly well day and night when all of a sudden he stopped.

Feeding every 2-3 hours when awake.

Hello,

My 3mo is the same. Just can't get him to settle for more than a couple of hours at a time. takes about an hour to get him down (if i'm lucky) and then he only sleeps for an hour or 2 tops. He was a good sleeper for the first couple of months and i feared it would be too good to last. but this has been going on for a couple of weeks now and I'm completed exhausted, I'm so tried it's affecting everything else. never had these problems and with his my older daughter... tried co-sleeping/ cot/ limiting day sleep/...
any more suggestions would be appreciated...

What is he doing when you try to put him to sleep for his daytime naps? Is he screaming & screaming?

The one thing that strikes me is that you are putting him down for his first nap of the day just 1hr after he gets up for the day. This is quite a short amount of time awake for a baby of 15weeks & more what I would expect a 1 month old to do. At his age I would expect him to be able to stay awake for around 1.5hrs in between naps. So I am wondering if he actually might not be tired at that first naptime & hence why he is refusing to sleep? Then as the day progresses b/c he only does a short nap of 1hr (or no nap as this last week) he will get more & more overtired. This in itself is likely to lead to a lot of night wakings.

So, if you are getting outright refusal to nap after 1hr, IIWM I would perhaps try putting him down for his first nap after 1h 15 for a few days & see if he will settle. If he still doesn't then every 3 days I would gradually increase the length of time awake by 5mins until you are putting him down 1.5hrs after he gets up. Hopefully you will find he will settle for his nap, and I think if you get that nap sorted, the rest will fall into place & the NW's should reduce.

I also agree with loveisagirlnameddaisy that the BT routine sounds good. Also agree re the co-sleeping & you may find that in the long term you are better to try & settle him in his cot whenever possible.

HTH.x