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My 5 week baby won't sleep - please help!

8 replies

zambooloo · 05/02/2012 12:05

My dd is 5 and 1/2 weeks - she has only ever slept on us and we are at the end of our tether! She just screams when we put her down - so far we have tried...

  • moses basket
  • cot
  • putting down awake
  • rocking to sleep, then putting down.

The most we have ever got is 1/2hr in cot when she has been rocked to sleep. However, as soon as she wakes up she screams and we have to rock her back to sleep which can can about an hour!

What can we do - we are really desperate now!

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peachsmuggler · 05/02/2012 13:38

Hiya, massive sympathies. My DD2 is 11 weeks and I also had this problem. I co-slept till 7 weeks then started trying to put her down again. What I had to do was once she was asleep wait 20 mins till in deep sleep then put her down. It seems to work most of the time, though during the night I find I don't have to wait that long, only for the start of the night. Haven't tried in day as we just use sling or pram.

omama · 05/02/2012 13:49

Hiya

(((hugs))) does this just happen during the day or does it happen during the night too? Is she taking a longer stretch of sleep on you? Is she sleeping at all during the day?

If I can explain it from her perspective, she falls asleep all warm & snuggly in your arms, then when she wakes up she is in her cot/moses basket & not where she was when she fell asleep. This will of course confuse & upset her, and if she has grown used to being cuddled or rocked to sleep, she will need you to help her every time she wakes.

I do understand how difficult it is though having been in the same position with my LO up until he was about 3 months old. Personally I quite like the snuggles when they are tiny, & esp if they are a bit unsettled it can really help to get you through those first few weeks but of course there comes a point when you want to try & help them learn to settle to sleep independently.

Firstly I would say that if anyone suggests CC or CIO it is not an appropriate sleep training technique for a baby under 6 months & is likely to make her very distressed. But there are more gentle techniques you can use if you wish to tackle this now.

We used the Baby Whisperer's ssh/pat technique to help our ds learn to go sleep on his own. In a nutshell you pat their back/bum while ssshing past (not into) their ear. This should help to calm baby down & then you gently lay baby down before they are asleep, while continuing to pat & sssh. And you carry on until baby is asleep. We did a modified version of this b/c ds slept on his back so we would place a hand on his chest or stroke his forehead & sssh. And repeat the same thing every single time you put baby down for a nap.

She will cry. There is no escaping that b.c you are teaching her a new way to go to sleep. If you you can persevere & be consistent she will quickly learn how to self settle.

Over time you can gradually reduce the assistance she will go to sleep on ehr own. It did take a few weeks for my DS to get the hang of the new way, but I am so glad we did it b/c since then, all I have had to do is put him down in his cot & leave the room & he goes to sleep on his own.

A couple of other things to note are also that at that age babies have strong reflexes & can often jolt themselves awake after a short time so BW have techniques to help with this too. Also you might want to keep a record of how much daytime & nighttime sleep she is getting over the next few days & post that b/c if she is overtired this can also lead to her struggling to settle & waking after a short nap.

HTH.x

zambooloo · 05/02/2012 14:34

Hi, thanks for replies. It happens whenever we put her down to sleep, day or night. She sleeps for upto about 3 hours on us at a time.

As I write we are trying the technique you mentioned - can I ask if you know what we should do when she wakes up - she was asleep for about 20mins then woken up. I patted her and ssshed but she went red and started to cry so I picked her up, waited until she had calmed down, was looking tired again and put her back down, that was about 20 mins ago and she is still very restless but is still in the cot and isn't crying. We just keep ssshing and touching her. Is this right?

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claireinmodena · 05/02/2012 15:04

Oh poor you, we've had one if those! She only slept on us, and I couldnt sleep with a baby on my chest, so it was torture, if I even tried to slide her down on the mattress between me and dh, she'd wake up immediately!

We didnt follow a scheme/routine, but all I did was putting her back in the moses basket/cot/whatever every single time. Initially she'd scream as soon as she hit the mattress, whether she was awake or asleep, then VERY slowly she started going longer periods and eventually was sleeping there by about 8 weeks. At 12 weeks she was sleeping 12 hours solid so I suppose it was worth the initial suffering!

I never got the hang of it but some people find swaddling works?

Sorry if I cant offer proper solutions but you have all my sympathy!!

Hope it gets better soon for you.

zambooloo · 05/02/2012 16:13

thanks claireinmodena - what did you do when she cried? did you pick her back up?

OP posts:
claireinmodena · 05/02/2012 20:00

Yes I did, she would get into a desperate frenzy, really upset, I couldnt take it!

Iggly · 05/02/2012 20:17

DD is 9 weeks and like this. She starts wriggling and writhing then wakes up crying - because she has wind usually!! I can sometimes get her down for 45 mins in the day but not often, especially if I haven't winded properly. Same at night so I don't bother trying half the time as tired. I'm going to start putting her down again - I had the same thing with DS (although he had silent reflux) and we got him into his cot by continuously putting him down but I'd give up if he wouldn't settle as he'd get overtired otherwise. I didn't bother getting him to self settle until he was quite a bit older. Now at 2.4 he's fine so not worried about that so much.

omama · 05/02/2012 20:18

zambaloo - yes that sounds like you are doing it fine. Try to keep her in the crib if you can, but if she won't settle you can pick her up until she is calm & then put her down again. What you need to be careful of though is that she doesn't fall asleep on you.

WRT the 20min nap - the first 20mins are light sleep, & LO's of this age are likely to partially waken / jolt awake / open eyes completely every 10mins. After 20mins the baby falls into a deep sleep & the entire sleep cycle lasts around 40mins. When she is learning to fall asleep she may completely wake every 10mins & this is normal while she learns.

As pp says swaddling is quite effective in preventing those jolts from waking baby and although its not recommended for night time sleeping I have to say I found it very useful at naptimes with my LO when he was tiny.

BW recommends keep doing ssh/pat until she's completely settled & zoning out. Then slow it down, then stop sshing, but keep patting until baby goes to sleep. Stay with her until she's deeper into sleep, totally let go, no eye movements. Past the "jolt." (20min mark).You may or may not need to be patting still at this point.

If you can't get her to resettle at the 20min mark, I would suggest getting her up, & try again in a little while when she gives her tired cues again.

Finally keep a close eye on her for signs of tiredness throughout the day b.c a wakeup at the 20min mark can often be a sign of overtiredness & so if you are missing her sleep window then she is more likely to wake after a short nap.

HTH.x

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