3 year old and many night wakings

[katherine2008]

Can anyone offer a solution to dd (3.5)'s night wakings. Ds born November 2011 so some upset and jealousy at home. DD had the odd night waking but was easily settled back in her bed. She is now waking 3 or 4 times a night, coming into our room and wanting to sleep with us. Or waking up in bed crying for me. I have been religiously taking her back to her room but the last couple of nights she has woken 4 or 5 times and at 3.30am this morning I let her sleep with me and my husband slept in the spare room. Even then she slept badly in bed and I got very little sleep. Baby woke at about 5.45am for his bottle so I half woke her, took her back to bed and settled her down. She woke up again screaming at about 6.15am, so was back in bed with me and her brother whilst i fed him. I am getting more and more tired - the baby is actually sleeping quite well! I have to work too and am finding I'm making silly mistakes (I work for myself and mat leave wasn't an option.

When I ask her what is waking her she says she doesn't know. I've tried not to lead her but it would seem that she is scared and doesn't want to be on her own.

She is in a toddler bed so I can't go and sleep with her and this 'phase' has now been going on for at least a month and I can't see how it's going to end.

Any advice?

Our double just isn't big enough for all of us!

Thanks in advance.

Hi, we had this when our DD was born and DS was 3. I couldn't understand it, but in retrospect it was just a weird feeling/fear, that the baby was with me and he wasn't. I tried hard to make sure I had put the baby down when I could hear him crying or getting up so he didn't see us being oh-so-cosy at night, which was very hard as she was often just setting, but after a few weeks of juggling and spinning plates, he felt more comfortable about everything (and the baby was becoming his friend too) and just stopped. Sorry got to run, good luck!

thanks so much. I think I just have to persist with putting her back in her bed til she forgets to get up..!

Yes I think so, hopefully it will all have passed and settled down without finding you've introduced something new into the equation! And probably to keep everything else as much the same as possible will actually help. My husband was willing to go and sit with him and give him some special time, but he only wanted me, which made it hard for both of us for different reasons! But it did pass, and I don't remember it taking forever either, he just had to assimilate the change!

Also, maybe you could offer some fancy new comforter?! My DS has story CD's to help him sleep so I can always offer one in the middle of the night, or win brownie points with a brand new one. Or a special nightlight, like the ones that project rotating pictures? I suppose it depends what she likes, but just something soothing to entice her to stay in her own bed I suppose.

She has a 'blankie' which she never sleeps without, but I like the idea of nightlight she can turn on and watch if she wakes up.. great thought, will get googling. Thank you for your advice. I have had a chat with her explaining that I will only be bringing her back to her room every time tonight and that we won't be talking - it'll be straight back to bed. Wish me luck!

Good luck!!!

My dd is a bit older (4.5yrs) but recently she has been waking up loads for varying reasons - we have put a nightlight on the landing (a very dull one) as she doesn't like it being completely dark and have a reward system going, firstly it was stickers and now it's marbles, i.e. get two marbles if don't wake in the night, one marble if wake up once and no marbles if wake up twice or more, then we set a target and reward so it started off with three marbles and she got a magazine, then 50p, now its upto seven marbles and she gets a new headband. She keeps the marbles in a xmas tree shaped Ferroro Rocher tin next to her bed so she knows how many she's got and how many to go til she gets her reward.

Has worked really well, we're back to one waking a night now, for a toilet trip, from five or six a night over xmas.

I did also threaten her that if she kept waking up we would take away a soft toy every time but it's never come to that and not sure I could have done it anyway!

Loving the marbles idea! Genius. Last night she only got up once and then again at 6am which technically could have been excused had it been for the fact that I took her back to bed (as was about to feed ds his bottle) and she slept on til 8am! But the marbles idea is fantastic. Will be purchasing!

if baby is sleeping well have you considered putting them in together that way your 1st wont feel left out and would feel responsible and grown up looking after no 2? after my 2nd was born and grown out of mosses basket he went in with no 1 - they are now 9 and 6 and still happy, sleeping, room sharers!
its no 3 that's the issue now!
good luck but sounds like you're having some already!