DD2 (23 months) - why does she scream all night?

[CharCharGabor]

I have had major issues with DD's sleep since birth. Birth to 15 months she had awful reflux that caused her to have 5hr+ screaming fits, arching, vomiting as well as gulping etc. She ended up hoarse a fair few times. Fought for help but it wasn't really given as she was so happy in the day so it was not well medicated.

She grew out of the reflux at 15 months afaics, there were no obvious symptoms anyway. since then we've had taking hours to go to sleep, waking frequently in the night and nights where she screams all night with only small dozes. I dropped her nap at 18 months and she now settles quickly at 7.30ish (unless she has an unavoidable 10 minute nap on school run when it takes at least an hour to settle her).

Currently, she is sleeping from 7.30 until 1.30ish. She is crying out a few times but settling back to sleep. Only thing is, that's it. From then, she will ask for a breastfeed then refuse, kick, push away and generally scream at the top of her voice until morning. Every 4 days or so she will be so exhausted that she will sleep a little more peacefully but then it's back to normal.

Why? Why why why?! I just really can't understand why this would happen. She eats loads in the day, I wondered about teething but ibuprofen and anbesol don't make a difference. I take her to groups, to the park and for walks so she gets plenty of stimulation and exercise. Apart from being tired she is happy for most of the day.

She is breastfed. If I don't offer breast and try to settle her in other ways she rapidly becomes hysterical and begins gagging or being sick. This is way beyond toddler tantrums, she is genuinely distressed. Same thing happens if I leave her room after saying good night, although sometimes she also poos herself while screaming. THis happens within 2 minutes or so.

She had little speech or understanding until about a month ago but is starting to talk and understand better.

I am so tired. No family help, DP works long hours, have to get dd1 to school and can't sleep during the day. I'm not so much looking for advice on things to try (although if you've got anything good please throw it out there!) I'd just like to see if anyone has any ideas as to why this could happen. Because I've run out of ideas!

thanks, sorry for essay! :)

Bump, sorry but had another similar night last night although the screaming didn't start until 3.20!

Its so hard when there is no obvious reason like teeth or something isn't it?! Just a thought, but do you think she may be over tired, what about an early afternoon nap? I know all of mine have napped until at least 3yo and even after that had a quiet half hour in bed,just after lunch say about 1pm. Dc4 will be encouraged to do the same... He currently snoozes through both school runs however so may have other ideas by then! Only other thought, with you mentioning the early unsettled sleep\poo, could it be wind or tummy ache? is she eating tea close to bedtime? Could be worth eating even half hour earlier maybe? Again I'm only guessing. Hope it starts getting easier for you soon :)

Hi
Am fairly new here, sorry no advice as we are in the same situaion! DS is 22 months and the past couple of weeks has been getting up at 1.30, and nothing will settle him! Have tried rocking, taking him in our bed, lying in his room but he just screams! He has dropped his bedtime milk strangely, just refuses it so I make sure he has something to eat so he isn't hungry, giving him pain relief for teething, but nothing helps. He eventually falls asleep exhausted at around 6am. I think he is so overtired, and can't break the pattern. He has a nap around 11am for 2 hours, have tried dropping it but he judt falls asleep during lunch so definately still needs it. Sorry I have no advice to offer, just to let you know your not on your own, I feel your pain

Thanks for replies, sorry only just managed to get a minute to write! It is very hard, especially as this has been going on for such a long time in various different forms. I have very low expectations, am not particularly bothered about sleeping through the night but I would like her to at least sleep between wake ups!

She very likely is overtired, she seems overtired from the moment she gets up tbh. The reason I dropped her nap was because she was looking exhausted at 8ish so I would take her up to bed, only from her to thrash and scream and hit and kick until 10-11pm and I was just losing my mind. Even a teeny nap, or an early one keeps her wide awake for hours and I end up near to tears with the frustration of it. So yes, probably overtired but I can't seem to manage to balance everything!

She has dinner at about 5pm then bath, story, feed and asleep usually by 7.30. I could move it a little earlier but it would be a rush after the school run and I would worry about dd1 being hungry, she'd probably be fine though.

Sorry to hear you are going through this as well mama25, it's absolutely rubbish isn't it :( you go through option after option and nothing ever changes! Hope your ds settles down soon.

Thanks again guys :)