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Exhausted, resentful, irrational?

12 replies

clarejane · 30/01/2012 15:15

Just wondering how other people cope with the effects of long-term broken sleep on their relationship with DH / DP? DS is 14 mos and has never been a great sleeper - occasional nights or (gasp) weeks of sleeping from bedtime to 5am but more often he's up a few times a night. I BF him and gave up work to be at home with him. All decisions I am happy with BUT it means I have become the default nighttime parent and it's starting to wear thin. We managed to night wean him successfully once whilst staying at my parents house - Mum did the wakings for 2 weeks - but as soon as we were back home it all went to pieces again. But at least we do know that DS is capable of sleeping through now. DH has a stressful job with long hours and part of me feels bad that he should have a terrible nights sleep as well. And part of me is bloody cross that he doesn't do more overnight! During the day we can talk quite rationally about how he should go in for DS's wakings so we can at least wean him off of night feeds. In the middle of he night DH seems to have no patience (comforted DS for one minute last night before claiming it 'wasn't working') and we end up snapping at each other. And I end up feeding DS to get us all back to sleep. After last nights exchange I ended up lying in bed wide awake for about 3 hours feeling really pissed off! We've tried controlled crying (I am willing to go 10 mins max) but either we're doing it wrong, or we're not consistent or it just doesn't work for DS. We're all tired, DH and I are short-tempered with each other and I have no energy to be a fun mum with my increasingly mobile and fantastic little boy. Or even hold an intelligent conversation with DH. I do nap during the day when DS is down but what I need now is some sustained, unbroken sleep - an hour here and there just isn't making much of a difference. I am starting to feel very resentful and pretty unhappy with the situation. I can't tell if this is reasonable or just because I'm bloody exhausted. Does anyone have any advice or experience to share? Many thanks.

OP posts:
1Catherine1 · 30/01/2012 19:06

We cosleep. Seems to be all that works. As I work though I cant really put any time into sleep training as I cant afford to lose a nights sleep and be shattered the next day. This does get in the way for time with DP though.

I'm planning on using a method suggested on here during my week off and see if she will sleep in her cot again.

watermint · 30/01/2012 19:52

Can relate - DP will get up in the night to resettle our ds (I have to ask him tho, he wont get out of bed spontaneously!) He will then try resettling for approx 4 mins before sighing loudly/asking me to feed him. I found it helpful to ask him to set a time to try resettling for - eg try for 15 mins if it still seems there is NO chance of ds going back to sleep I'll feed. Think DP finds it helpful to have a timescale...

clarejane · 30/01/2012 22:46

Timescale is a great idea, thanks watermint, will try tonight. And yes, I have to ask too :)

We used to co-sleep 1Catherine1 but it doesn't really work for us anymore. Good luck to you!

OP posts:
babyrose · 31/01/2012 13:56

hi clarejane, i used to feed to sleep. at 9 months ds still wasnt sleeping through so we decided to give him water instead through the night eventually he got the hint. he still wakes at 20 months but its more of a routine problem.
HTH

MissHonkover · 01/02/2012 07:16

Oh yes, DP and I are constantly bickering, it really wears you down.

One thing I'd say, is that if you're going to do CC you need to be 100% consistent. For us it worked brilliantly, but we were absolutely faithful to the timings on the Supernanny website.

StickyGhost · 02/02/2012 00:39

Definitely sign me up to this thread! I can't even look at my DP sometimes I'm so resentful. I sometimes feel like DP 'opts out' of some of the aspects of having a small baby - like him still 'needing' to have a long stretch of unbroken sleep, whereas I get a 2/3 hr stretch max. Short spells of sleep are not enough, even if they do (sometimes) eventually add up to an acceptable amount. Why is it one rule for him and another for me? And I don't spend all day on my arse at home, I work as hard as he does and I don't get a bloody lunch break! Sorry rant over, but generally I know how you feel clarejane, it pushes your relationship and your coping skills to the limit. If I knew the magic answer I would share it, but I think you do have to try and change things as it doesn't sound like your current situation can go on much longer. Best wishes

DaftMule · 02/02/2012 14:39

I can give you a father's perspective on this although I'm not sure I can help much. I can, however, completely sympathise with regard to the brutal nature of sleep deprivation.

My wife and I have 2 girls, a 5yo and a 1yo. I think I can honestly say I have not had anything more than the odd night of unbroken sleep in the last 5 years. I actually have no clue what an ordinary, average nights sleep is when you have kids.

DD#1 started with colic as an infant then we had a few months of pretty good sleeping. Then from about 9 months onward we started to get a more and more broken sleep pattern, especially when she slept on her back. She would wake up a few times during the evening and night. As time went on the restlessness got worse. We had one of those movement monitors and it used to go off occasionally meaning she must have stopped breathing. She had a constantly snotty nose and watery eyes. Between 1 and 2 years old we took her to the doc endlessly as we knew something wasn't right...all to no avail.

By about 1 and 3/4 we knew she seemed to have issues breathing at night. The pattern of sleep was waking 4 or 5 times during the evening then usually around midnight or 1 am she would be awake proper and very unhappy. It seemed she was desperately trying to settle but every time she dropped off something would wake her up. At its worst, I remember one night where she woke up for a final time around 1 am and it was 5am by the time I got her to sleep again. By this time I had educated myself into a pattern where I went to be around midnight as I could not function if I went to bed earlier then had to drag myself up out of deep sleep in order to deal with DD.

God knows how many times the docs saw her and even and ENT consultant. By 2 years of age it was clear that she would just stop breathing at night...we watched it happen when she was sleeping on the bed between us. Her body would then react by waking her...hence the restlessness during the night.

Nothing was offered as an explanation though. In the end, she used to do this when she fell asleep in a car seat....we video'd it out of desperation at one point to show to the doctor. Finally, when she was around 2 and a bit we saw a consultant who took one look down her throat and said she had tonsils the size of golf balls which were meeting in the middle. No wonder she had sleep apnoea! As her tonsils clearly hadn't just grown that big over night, god knows what all the other docs were doing!

When she was 2.5 yrs old she had her tonsils out and the night after the op was the first time I had ever seen her sleep on her back for several hours without waking.

Unfortunately though, the damage was done in terms of her sleep patter...that combined with an awful hospital experience for her. She never slept properly after that...it was better but she was still wakeful and would often just wake up in a complete state. Only in the past year has DD#1 started sleeping through the night although we still have to sit with her while she goes to sleep.

Now DD#2 seems to be taking over from DD#1. For example, last night, the wife and I both went to bed at 9.30pm as we are so knackered. By 12.30am DD#2 had woken up 5 times and DD#1 once. DD#2 eventually had to go on the bed next to my wife as she clearly couldn't sleep for more than 20mins in the cot and we couldn't face getting out of bed yet again. Some sleep was had thereafter but DD#2 kept waking up at various times through the early hours.

DD#2 seems to be exhibiting the same symptoms as DD#1 had....desperately trying to sleep but she is very snuffly/snorty and keeps waking up. She doesn't have a cold atm but to hear her breathing at night you'd think she had a very snotty nose. I am dreading the prospect of going through all of it again.

The worst thing about all this is the effect on my relationship with the kids and my wife. I have always been the person who deals with the kids in the evening and at night (in the main) mainly because we found out early on that DD#1 would settle much quicker with me dealing with her at night. At times though I have found myself irrational with rage at the unfairness of it all...fortunately I am not violent in the least but even I have found myself almost blaming the child for waking me up and so probably been a bit short when dealing with them. You enter a state of "surviving" the next day/night and that's it. There is no husband/wife time really....you're too damn tired to contemplate much more than eating supper and crashing in front of the telly for an hour before starting the dreaded night.

I have to say I find it difficult to understand dads who sleep the night away expecting their wives to deal with it "because I have work the next day". I certainly couldn't do that to my wife. When the soft and smelly is constantly hitting the fan you have to share the load or things will fly apart under the strain. It really does become a game of survival and the only way to do that is together.

All I can say is it does get better at some point. We are just unlucky it seems with DD#2 possibly having the same issue. If she didn't, we would finally be getting a proper night's sleep at last now DD#1 is sleeping through the night 90% of the time!

Sorry for the wall of text but guess I have been spleen venting a bit too...lol! It helps :-)

StickyGhost · 02/02/2012 23:15

Wow DaftMule, couldn't go without answering, what a terrible time you all had. Really sort of puts everything into perspective. That is terrifying that she would stop breathing, and how long it took to get diagnosed is just appalling. Thank goodness she is now ok. Glad you shared.

butterandbread157 · 07/02/2012 12:55

This is like I posted this myself!!
I chose to bf so therefore DH said my fault that wouldn't take bottle, he can't comfort DD2 etc.
DD2 is now 7mo and I finally snapped last week after not a single night of unbroken sleep. I started crying and couldn't stop (also had a&e visit for gallstone attack which were triggered by birth), DH stood in shock and asked what I needed- screamed sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He finally agreed to get up with DD2 as she only wakes up for dummy, I slept on the couch with living room door closed and never heard a peep. I slept properly for the first time in 7mo.
Was so good DH agreed to same next ngt.
I almost felt myself again after 2 ngts sleep and so much more patience for DD1 during the day.
DH and I have still to set up set nights each but it's the only thing that I can do till her sleep improves.
So, a good nights sleep is amazing medicine!!!!

RillaBlythe · 07/02/2012 13:32

God I can relate. Dd1 was a poor sleeper, still up every 2/3 hrs at 15 months when we did controlled crying. Then up once a night till 20 months when we stayed with my mum for 3 weeks & she night weaned her. Now she's a pretty reliable sleeper & dd2 who is 5 mo is not that bad... At one point with dd1 DP threatened to move out, we were so angry & exhausted & resentful. We ended up in relationship counselling talking about sleep training endlessly - don't know what the counsellor made of it!

RillaBlythe · 07/02/2012 13:36

Balls pressed wrong button! Anyway the only thing that made a difference for us was getting some sleep, really. Counselling eloped s be kinder to each other & other life changes meant DP was less of a bastard more relaxed so that helped too. I dread us going down that road again with dd2 though. Will probably resort to cc much kore quickly, as horrible as I believe it is, I genuinely could see sleep breaking as at some points with dd1. So really all I have to suggest is to find a way to crack it...

missrose · 07/02/2012 21:43

Rilla - just going to answer this quickly before I go to bed! Still bfing 15mo and like you was doing all the night wakings. We've just started night weaning and DH is finding lack of sleep incredibly hard. We've only been doing it for a week or so!

What's working for us is doing shifts. I'm on baby duty from 7pm until 12.30. If she wakes up I try to get her back to sleep without feeding. If that doesn't work I feed her. After 12.30am I put the baby monitor next to DH (hopefully without waking him up) and it's his turn until 6am. The other night he was awake with her for 2 and a half hours, last night she woke twice but settled immediately.

Oh, and DH is going to bed at 9pm. Last night he got 5 hours sleep before she woke up. I got sleep from 12.30 to 6am. Unfortunately I woke up every hour but that's another thread Grin

Ideally you need to sleep in different rooms for this to work. Hope this helps.

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