Please help...18month old needs me to settle him off to sleep and his comfort is my hair!!

[BusyBee86]

My son is 18months old and has always needed me to get him to sleep. Admittedly this is my fault because it's all he has known. He use to fall asleep in my arms then I'd lay him in his cot. As the months went on it took longer to get him to sleep. I rocked him to sleep then when he got too heavy I layed on my bed with him until he fell asleep (we cuddled while he was playing with my hair!) then I'd put him on cot. Now I still lay with him to get him to sleep (in his own single bed) and he plays with my hair. When he is asleep I leave his bedroom but when ever he wakes he crys because I am not there. As soon as I go in he cuddles me and holds my hair then he falls asleep instantly. Have you got any advice for me to try and break this bad habit? The thing I'm worried about is the fact that my hair is his comfort! Saying that it's not just me, he will play with anyone's hair if he is tired! Please help!

My DD still twiddles my hair & sucks her thumb when sleepy, she's 2.6. But she also twiddles her own hair if mine is out of reach, and understands when I tell her to leave it alone. But it does hurt & mess up my hair, so I'll watch with interest. Had no luck in trying to switch her to another comforter, she never took a dummy as she has her thumb.
It won't be long before I seriously consider shaving my head.

I am in the same position with my DD who is 2.4. When she wakes at night she comes into our bed and I spend the rest of the night trying to be out of reach so she wont pull on my hair. I even had it cut but it still doesn't work! She also sucks thumb and has a blanket. Hopefully some one will come with the magic answer!

Sorry, DS is 2.5 and he still likes my hair for comfort. My DDs did too, but switched to their own when it was long enough. We even tried barbies and hairpieces, but DS just isn't bothered with anyone's hair but mine! It's got to the point recently that he'll only sleep through if DH puts him to bed :(

Can't help, sorry, but you're not alone!

Ah thank you everyone, nice to know I'm not alone! I just wish he would go to sleep on his own without me having to lie down with him. It can take up to an hour sometimes. Then he wakes in the night lots so in the end I just stay in his bed so we can both get some sleep! I don't know how to stop this....it will still be happening when he is 5 at this rate

What about giving him a nice doll with a soft body but lots of hair?

We have tried dolls and things but nothing works. He wants us to stay with him and he gets very upset if we leave his bedroom

Gradual withdrawal? Move away from his bed slowly over 10 days. Explain in advance that you will be doing this. I did it with my son aged 2 and there was no crying.

I will try giving this a go. Although he won't even lay down until I lay down beside him! Even if I ask him too. Do you think using cc would work if I had a gate on his bedroom door? I hate the thought of doing this though!

With mine, I started by saying 'I'm just popping to the loo, and I'll be right back.' Then I'd leave the room for 1 minute and come back & carry on as usual. Gradually over time, I extended the time away until they eventually fell asleep while I was gone - after that it was okay.

Worked with DS1, didn't with DS2.

I'm not sure if it would work on a toddler in a bed, rather than in a cot, but we did CC with DD (16 months) about 2 weeks ago.

We did resettling after 2 minutes, then 3, then 4. At first she stood up during the 2 minutes and fell asleep during the 4 minutes. Then it moved to during the 3 minutes, now it is probably within 30 seconds of being put down (it probably took 6 nights to get to that stage). Resettling was until she stopped crying and her breathing calmed down.

It was really painless for us. However she has a few toys that act as comforters, so you might want to put a comforter of some sort in place first.

Hope you find a solution as we are much happier with our evenings back.

With the hair thing specifically, I try and tie it back as much as possible, even wear a bandana when she's really snotty so it's not do much of a temptation?

DS2 would only go to sleep if we stayed with him and he was like that until he was 3 and still prefers this aged 4. He would want to stroke my arm or tummy (or DH as second best).
But I dont mind staying until he nods off, your DS is still very small, does it matter if he needs you to get to sleep? Its quite normal I think.

I had the exact same thing with ds2 but he would only have my hair. I got him a blanket with a fringe all round after trying dolls and hair pieces. The blanket really works but it took a week of being firm. I lay with him but directed his hands to the fringe everytime he tried to go for my hair.

The only problem is that no one seems to sell a blanket with a fringe any more (as we found out when we needed an emergency one on holiday). You may have to knit one or ask someone to knit one for you but it really is worth a try.

I have been struggling with this for a month. My daughter likes to rub my hair on her cheek when she gets sleepy. I tried so many different things. One day, I realized that my powder brush feels like my hair..sort of. I bought a new one and gave it to my daughter. First, i played with it on my face then on hers. She LOVES it. She now uses it instead of my hair. It is a short one with a really fat handle. I swear that it i is the saving grace of my nights.

Thank you all for you advice and tips. We are still no closer to getting him to sleep alone. Can't even do gradual withdrawal as he won't lay down and just crys. Now he doesn't even want to go to bed, it's just got worse! Doesn't seem to want hair now he just point blank refuses to go to bed . I was considering putting a gate on his door so he can't escape but because he has a single bed it's too big for him so he won't be able to get back on it! Maybe I'll just have to put up with it till he is a bit bigger!