Why wont my 1 year old sleep anymore???

[Issam2]

Hello,
I am in desperate need of advice if anyone has experienced the same issue: My one year old was a very happy child, always smiling, he slept 11 hours each night and twice during the day.
he would usually go to sleep without a fight. Occassionally he liked to have a little cry, but nothing excessive.
My husband and I used controlled crying with both our children.
For the last three weeks, he has started waking up several times at night. Once we have checked he is all fine he simply will not go back to sleep. he screams and screams which has resulted in him being awake now for hours each night. We have had to resort to rocking him to sleep just so he wont be totally shattered the next day, and even taking him into bed with us.
I dont like to do these things as I don't want him to get used to it.
He is then tired all the next day, and has even now started the incesant screaming before his daytime naps.
it is really serious. we are all exhausted, my baby seems miserable and I really don't know where to turn for advice.
I've been to the GP and the health visitor.
My husband and I are now rowing as we are exhausted and snapping at each other and I am in tears not knowing which way to turn.
All advice gratefully recieved.

It could well be separation anxiety, at his age his awareness is increasing and thus his understanding and behaviour can change. As indeed it will again.
So point number one - this won't last so don't forget that and tho it feels awful now, remember it is temporary only, so try not to let it get to you (tiredness allowing!)
My suggestion would be to try to keep things simple, predictable and loving. So same routine for preparing for sleep, cuddles and predictability.
If he gets upset, reassure him, as if it is seperation anxiety trying to encourage self settle/independance would make it worse.
Don't worry toooo much about building 'bad' habits as it is only a phase, and patience and giving him what he needs when he needs it, with gradual progression to your preferred situation as things improve will help.
When he is really upset does a little bottle of milk sooth/calm? Once he has climbed off the ceiling so to speak you may be able to put him down in a happier state and avoid the fear of sleeping times.
Mine went through something similar and I was holding his hand for over an hour while he went to sleep and all sorts - but it didn't last, he just seemed to grow out of it eventually.
He is still very young and lots of phases will come and go - sleeping well has been something he has done and will do again, nothing is set in stone yet.
hth
:)

What does your daytime routine look like i.e. what time does he wake, what time does he nap & how long for?

Also could he be teething?

For us, screaming at sleeptimes usually happens when we need a routine change. I am wondering if he might need his naptimes tweaking a bit or he might be getting ready to drop his morning nap. Adjusting the nap times/durations might a) help with him settling more easily & b) stop the waking up at night.

PP also makes some good points about SA.

hth.xx

Thanks so much for the advice.
Re his daytime naps, when he was sleeping through he would have an hour and a half in the morning - usually half nine to eleven, and then about 40mins in the afternoon, usually about 3pm. I don't let him nap later than 4pm.
I do think he is teething quite badly plus SA.
It's just a relief to hear my baby is not the only one who has done this, and some good advice how to deal.

I'll see what the next few nights hold but feel better equipped to deal now.

Xxxx

Hiya - no your baby is definitely not the first & won't be the last! WRT the routine you posted - is it one nap in particular he's fighting or both? How long is it taking him to settle for each? I think teething will certainly be having an impact but I also think you may have started the transition to 1 nap which can be a lengthy process & take many months.

If he still goes down easily for his AM nap, but is fighting his PM nap, I would be inclined to cut the AM nap shorter. Do this gradually by cutting 15mins every few days until his AM nap is 30mins from 9.30-10am. As you cut back the AM nap he will need to take his PM nap earlier so work on gradually shifting it back until its just after lunch. The AM nap is gradually shortened until its eventually a catnap & can be dropped. I know this approach is scary since his AM nap is the longer one, but having his biggest nap in the afternoon is better b/c it will help him to make it through to bedtime without becoming overtired.

If he is fighting his AM nap the most, then I would probably concentrate on gradually pushing it later. Maybe try putting him down at 10am for a week & let him sleep his usual 2hr nap & see what happens. This will mean he will need his PM nap later. To make sure he is sufficiently tired enough for bed you will need to cut the PM nap shorter - maybe try 30mins from 3.30-4pm. As he gets older & the AM nap gradually moves later, the PM nap will become later & shorter, until its a tiny catnap & can be eventually dropped.

I've tried both approaches with my LO & we always found the short AM nap approach better as he very quickly started to refuse the PM nap, but was no way ready for 1 nap every day. Plus he was prone to EWing & short AM nap stops them from catching up on lost night sleep with the morning nap - which my LO would always try to do. The benefit of long AM nap to you of course - is that its what you already do. But you need to move it on a step to keep your nights in check