Please Help! 11 month old dreadful sleeper

[hardboiledpossum]

DS is 11 months and we have been co-sleeping for the past few months so that we can all get some sleep but I would really like to get him back in his cot. I don't want to do CC or CIO but nothing else has seemed to work. We tried about two months ago and just sat by his cot each time he woke until he fell back asleep but after 10 days he was still waking up 5+ times a night and often more! Do I just need to persevere or try something else? Please help we're getting desperate and I would love some alone time with DP.

I feel your pain - I just realised DD 10mo has ended up in my bed almost every night for about 6 weeks, though at least only in the wee hours.. We did have success with your technique over about 2-3 weeks when she was 5mo but now going in to her she expects to b picked up and goes into a rage at the sight of us... I am hoping someone tells you that if you stuck at it it will work because it will give me hope too!

I posted a few days ago about ds2 (now 11mo) since then we have tried the EASY routine from no cry sleep solution and is working a charm. He does still come in with us but is waking much less and settling quicker when he wakes. I remeber from ds1 that its better not to expect quick results and move slowly but surely towards your final goal - over the next couple of months we will try to get him fully into hos own bed but for now just all getting more sleep is the priority! Good luck.

Hi ohdarcy what is EASY - I know it in context of baby whisperer daytime schedule, but I can't believe it's related! I have NCSS book but can't find reference to it?

Well his naps were also all over the place and with both our kids we've always been really baby led but it just seemed to be going pear shaped. EASY moved us away from using a feed as a means of getting him to sleep and also seems to have broken the connection for him of then needing to feed to get back to sleep when he woke.

From the second day we went from 2 x 30 min naps max to about 3 hrs total and that alone has totally changed his nights. He was waking every hour or two and for the last few has woken twice. Who knows it is very early days but if it kees working its a bloody miracle.

We are using pupd to settle him but not actually picking him up iyswim. As they are older babies she recommends letting them get up all the way and then gently laying them back down. I guess that way you let them knacker themselves out! It really helped to know this was a tried and teated method and he did cry but i was there touching his back and just remembered what she says - that they don't hate you, they aren't angry, they are just frustrated and it helped me not to lose it! I've had a couple of times sat there for 30mins putting him back down but he has then slept for more than an hour and i can see it is working, it is easier every time. Before he fed to sleep or rocked to sleep. Now we do a proper routine of into his bag, up to the room away from ds1 and tv, few stories and cuddles and then lie down.

Def worth a shot!

ohdarcy we had been doing similar but with no improvement unfortunately!
He is in a pretty good daytime routine with 2 hour long naps at the same time every day. Before when we tried to get him to settle in his cot we were just sitting next to his cot and lying him back down when he got up like you said. Maybe I just need to stick at it for longer?! I just wish I could see a bit of improvement though!

hardboiled do you have my DD??! Well, no, clearly not as mine doesn't wake as many time as yours - lucky us! We have also been doing what you're doing and naps are similar... I've never fed DD to sleep, I guess I kind of did do EASY, until 8mo when she started dropping off at bedtime feed so I moved it to before bath. She self-settles for bed and before 3am if she wakes. I don't want to let her cry, but after reading some posts on other threads and indeed my own, I decided maybe to try, so I stayed at mum's last night and let Dh do what he wanted... He let her whinge off and on for an hour then she went back to sleep. Tonight I'm going to sleep in the living room. Hopefully it will improve!

Have you heard of 'gradual retreat'? I think it would suit your situation well. I went through it with my then 4 month old dd - we co-slept and I bfed her to sleep every hour! On the first three nights you sit by the cot, as you have done, and use touch, voice etc. to get them back to sleep. The next three nights you take something away or do less of something and carry on doing this (every three nights) until you are just sat by the cot using your voice, then start moving your chair slowly away from the cot until you are out of the room (in our case we all slept in the same room so as far away from the cot as possible). By this point you don't need to do much at all - just use your voice from afar. It took us 6 weeks to complete it and get her sleeping well consistently. I'd really recommend it - it is hard work though and you have to be very patient but well worth it. .

I think with ds1 we finally cut out all night feeds about 15mo. Dh took over and just settled him over and over. He did cry and i had to lie with a pillow over my head(!) but it worked. Did take a few nights and we never left him to cry on his own. Dh stayed with him and eventually over time did gradual retreat as described above. Shame is that was 4 yrs ago and we can't quite remember what we did!! I do know it took time and a lot of patience and there was no easy solution.

I have tried to do gradual retreat kind of. I can get to the point of him falling asleep while I sit in the doorway but if I ever move out of sight he just screams hysterically!

Frog, if he just whinged a bit when I left him I would probably be ok to leave him but he screams and cries hysterically.

Understand completely! He assured me it was just whingeing... It is variable from night to night.

Incredibly last night we had 7 til 5.30 with only 10mins whinge at 3am. I think she might have slept longer if she didn't currently hav a cough. Hope this wasn't just a one off, though I suspect it was as she does do this very occasionally.

I forgot to say, he doesn't feed at night at hasn't for about 6 months now. I guess I just have to try for longer this time and see if it works!

Hi hardboiled, hope you had a decent night? We had another 4am spectacular 4.30 1.5hr screamfest... Coincidentally decided to implement strategy as per other thread you're on though - will let you know how it goes!

Yes please do let me know how you get on! I have decided to wait until after DS's birthday in two weeks and then give it a go.