Quick - someone tell me if I'm doing this right!

[lookout]

Have decided to get ds (16w) used to going to sleep by himself (has always been fed/cuddled and rocked to sleep) as well as sleeping in a baby sleeping bag instead of his swaddled blanket. So he is knackere, fed and changed and has nothing else wrong that I am aware of. I put him in his cot 25 minutes ago and I can still hear him whingeing - no crying just grizzling every now and then. Do I just leave him? Will he fall asleep by himself? What do I do if he doesn't? These all seem like ridiculous questions but I'm so used to our status quo that I don't know how to go about this!

When I do it, go in every 5 mins and say its ok sleepy time now. However if you think this will disturb him rather than comfort then don't. If he's just grizzly and it's like a repetitive cry not changing in none, then I'd leave him.

Thanks. He was silent for about 20 minutes but he's just started grizzling again. I can hear it's gonna turn into a cry though. Oh this is so hard, I just want to go and pick him up and cuddle him!

Try can't remember what's it's called but I call it the extending time method.

Basics are you put DC down. He grizzles/cries. You leave it 1 minute and go back in, comfort (I do "sleepy time", pat, shush) and then leave. He grizzles/cries. You leave it 3 minutes this time before going back in, comforting and leaving. He grizzles/cries. You leave it 5 minutes this time... Then 7, then 9 and so on. The maximum I ever leave my DS to grizzle (unless full blown screaming which is dealt with more rapidly) is about 9 minutes. As I'm a wuss and can't cope

DS now goes down, grizzles, I go back and pat, leave and he falls asleep. It's like he just wants to double check someone is still there. Did take a few days to get there though.

I think it definitely depends on the baby. 16 weeks is still very very young! I personally don't believe in leaving a baby that small to cry, but that's just my opinion. FWIW we cuddled our DD to sleep for the first 3 or 4 months, and swaddled her up until then, and she transitioned fine. She does now suck her thumb which helps. Have you thought about a dummy? Sucking is a calming reflex and helps them to get to sleep. He's young enough to be weaned off it before he remembers it and it becomes a habit IYSWIM.

You might want to try ssh-pat (from the Baby Whisperer), although I found Ssh-Stroke more effective. Just saying SSSSH in a calming whisper while stroking back or tummy, depending on how you've put him down. Also white noise really helped us as well.

Good luck - remember it's still very early days. No one expects you to get it all correct so soon! :)

Well that was a nightmare. The crying started and I too, saycoolnowsaywhip, can't leave him to cry when he's that small, so I went, tried shh/pat/stroke which just wound him up even more so I picked him up to calm him and he just wouldn't settle, even after 10 minutes of cuddling he was still screaming. Off came the sleeping bag, on went the swadddle blanket, back into my arms and he was asleep within 5 minutes.

So he definitely won't be transitioning without a fight! We have tried a dummy, several times and several different types, but he's not interested. The shh/pat/stroke doesn't seem to work either.

flyingoutofcontrol you make it sound so easy! But the crying doesn't stop if I go back in to pat/shh.

I can't believe I caved after only one try! Do you think it's that he's not ready to be unswaddled or have I left it too long already? I know the longer I leave it the hharder it will be, plus the night wakings and having to cuddle back to sleep are killing me, which is what promtped me to give this a go in the first place.

I don't know how to do this!

lookout, I would definitely say he's not ready to be unswaddled. Like I said, we swaddled DD until she was about 3 and a half months

Also at 16 weeks, you're in prime position for.... the dreaded 4 month sleep regression. More about this here

Feck, your own back, not hers.

Excuse typos, am on the most rubbish of internet speeds ever.

Great blog on the sleep regression saycool, really interesting. I know you are right about not making a rod blah blah blah but sometimes I doubt my own instincts and listent to exterior opinions waaaaaay to much. Plus as I said, I am finding it increasingly difficult to deal with 5 wakings and cuddling back to sleep in a night!

To listen to me you'd think I'd never done this before, but I have a ds 1 who is 7! We were really spoiled with him though as he was never swaddled, loved his dummy and slept through from 14 weeks with a minimal amount of shh/pat training. So ds2 is a shocker in comparison as he seems to need all the interventions possible!

I think for now I'll carry on swaddling, even though we are not far off 4 months. His legs don't really fit in the blanket but perhaps I might just swaddle his top half without putting his legs in. And as for the cuddling to sleep, well, I guess at some point I'll have to tackle it, but I've no idea how or when . Thanks for your posts, the support is much appreciated.

Sorry, hope I wasn't telling you how to suck eggs. I just know how it is with a bad sleeper...

Hope you get things sorted with your DD. There is a swaddle you can do called an angel swaddle which I think gives them a bit more freedom. Forgive me, I can't for the life of me remember how it goes but if you Google it you should find out.
Hope I've been of some help anyway. I know how rubbish it is without sleep.

You weren't at all! I asked for help!! I really feel like a first-timer even though I'm not, I guess because it was all such a long time ago.

I've checked up on the angel wrap - looks interesting and may give it a go. Thanks for the tip and for your advice, much appreciated