How on earth do you do CC or similar with toddler in big bed?

[LaTristesse]

DS is 22mo and moved into a single bed a month ago with absolutely no dramas, other than the first night when he took a little while to settle, he's got himself off to sleep beautifully, slept through: all brilliant. Then the last 3 days he's been a devil to get settled. I think I know why (combination of me napping alongside him during the day - I'm 7mo pg, and him napping in the bed at granny's house twice a week in readiness for her having him when the new baby arrives).
We did CC previously (or my version which was to put him down, leave, he'd cry, I'd go back in, then I'd wait an extra minute each time before going back in) which worked brilliantly when he was in his cot, but now he just gets out of bed, opens the door, and stands screaming at the baby gate until I put him back to bed. I can't see how he's going to settle to sleep if he's stood at the door?!
Is this how it's meant to work with toddlers or am i doing something wrong? Am very open to other suggestions if anyone has any...

we did exactly that - stair gate on on just leave him crying there for 5 minutes. Then go back, calm him down and tell him to get back in to bed, then repeat till falls asleep. If won't go back to bed just say that you will come back in 5 minutes - then go downstairs. 5 minutes later come back and repeat the whole process. We went through phases where we negotiated and would sit on the stairs outside his room etc but we found give an inch take a mile and much better not to get into that routine.
We did this with DS1 at much the same age as yours, and then did it with DS2 who was sharing the room with DS1. It never took more than 2 nights.
We also use a bunny clock (gro clock?) and they don't come out of their room till bunny wakes up - works a treat.....

That's brilliant Stealth thank you! I'm going to start tomorrow night, not looking forward to it, but will let you know how we get on!

Have you (or anyone else) done similar for any night wakings? He's in the habit at the moment of stirring around 2 and/or 4am and I'd rather not undo any good work by getting in with him then? Or other ideas?

you could try the Rapid Return technique (a la House of Tiny Tearaways).

The first time they get up you say, "No it's bed time, get back into bed, night night" and walk them back to bed, tuck in, kiss, whatever.

second time, "it's bed time, night night" and walk back to bed.

third time, "no, it's bed time" walk back to bed, no discussion

4th time, walk them back to bed in silence. no discussion

and basically the idea is that you just keep walking them back to be in silence and eventually they get the idea that it's not worth getting up because nothing good happens, e.g. no conversations with mummy, no cuddles, no drinks etc

on the House of Tiny Tearways they showed families doing it and the first night could be really hard, with some kids getting up, say 30 times or whatever, but over the next couple of nights, if the parents were consistent the number of returns reduced very quickly.

Like CC (which we did btw) it's hard at first, but IMHO, I do think it's worth children how to self-settle, particularly when there's another baby on the way and you may not always be available for them to the extent that you have been.

good luck, I know it's really hard!

Thanks Hambles, never heard of that one, and it sounds nice and gentle... Will bear it in mind if Plan A doesn't work! Thankfully it only took 2 goes (and therefore 2 minutes) tonight before he gave up and settled himself: result!

Do you think either of these techniques would work for naps? As mentioned in the OP I think it's our napping together that's got us into this mess, so I'm keen to sort naps out too... Thanks!

naps are difficult aren't they, because inevitably there comes a point when they're on the border between needing a nap and not IYSWIM. And they don't necessarily know they need it either!

All you can do is see what works for you, but either of these methods could work.