21 month old doesn't always sleep through the night anymore.

[JBillett91]

Hi, My 21 month old daughter keeps waking up throughout the night. It's not every night but most. She's always slept right through since 1 month although as she got older, she used to hate going to bed and it was a constant battle, but once fast asleep, she would stay that way untill 7 am. Now she's fine going to bed, it's just sleeping all night that's become the problem. I put her in a toddler bed a few months ago and that's when it all started. I've tried to make it all snug for her incase it's because it's too big, but she likes it when she wakes in the morning because she does have the freedom. She also doesn't seem to like the dark so I put a night light in there but it wasn't light enough so I've put a brighter one in there which seems to help a bit. I've tried soothing her, leaving her to cry, I go in and just sit on the end of her bed and ignore her, I've placed toys on her bed but nothing seems to work and it takes a couple of hours for her to go back to sleep. I've tried making her days really active to knacker her out or changing her bed time but that doesn't work either. I'm due to have my next baby within the next few weeks and I can't really be dealing with getting up with a newborn and a toddler. My husband is doing what he can to help now whilst off work but when he goes back I don't think it's fair for him to be getting up everynight with my daughter whilst I tend to the baby (plus he'll get grumpy). Has anyone got any advice on what I can do?? I would really appreciate it.

Thing is, as they get older they can wake for all sorts of reasons. Their little heads are buzzing. She is probably feeling insecure due to the impending arrival. She might be starting to have bad dreams but be unable to really process and communicate the fact. There isn't much you can do other than reassure her, let her know everything is ok when she wakes and wait for it to pass.

FWIW my 5 year old was a great sleeper. Around when his sister was born when he was 2 he got night terrors which went on for months and months. When he wasn't having a terror he would creep in to our bed anyway, well his baby sister was in with us so why not him! Then when he was a little older he started getting growing pains at night. Now he comes to our bed maybe 3 times a week with either a bad dream or growing pain, or sometimes just because he woke up and couldn't get back to sleep and needs a cuddle. Dd is now 3 and still doesn't tend to sleep through the night. New baby due next month so I am fully expecting a rise in nighttime activities! I'm afraid your dh is going to have to step in a fair bit.

Arrrgh. I don't think there's an easy answer, but INdith has said loads of sensible things.

I think your DP needs to get up to her in the night, but that's just my personal opinion. Him being at work is irrelevant unless he's a surgeon or lorry driver or something - you are going to have to look after 2 small children all day, which is no fun on little sleep. Split the duties when the new baby comes, at least - he does your eldest, you deal with the newborn.

Aw thanks anyway guys. Hopefully she will grow out of it at some point and fingers crossed the new baby isn't a complete nightmare at night time. I'm sure my husband will help, now and then with alot of nagging from me so he will do it reluctantly and will have to have a good moan about it first :( (I too think he should help with it regardless to whether or not he's working but his argument is he worked harder) but I could be wrong lol.

Your husband needs to be left alone with two small children all day when the new one comes along. Then stand back and watch him positively run off to work the next day!

Seriously though, stick up for youself with your husband. Children are a joint responsibility and it is not fair for you to be expected to do the lion's share of the night-time wakings with DC1 when you're heavily pregnant or have a newborn.

I think it is about striking a blance somehow at night. Yes, the person working does need to have a decent sleep because they need to be able to perform their job but that doesn't mean they don't need to help out at all. ou can go to bed early and say that he deals with wakings until 11 then gets to sleep 11-5/6 uninterrupted (unless all hell breaks loose and you have both up at once and you need the extra pair of hands) and then he gets up with baby/deals with early rising toddler etc and lets you have uninterrupted sleep until he goes off to work. At weekends you can share the sleep ins, I think it unfair if he never gets one, but on the condition that he takes both out for a couple of hours at least once each weekend and allows you to have some time awake without children (just as important as sleep), lets you have a nap if needed etc.

My daughter was a great sleeper until 18 months - then she started going down fine at night but waking up shouting from as early as an hour later. I did some googling and discovered the 18 month sleep regression - the one noone warns you about. Perhaps this is what is happening for you? It said it would last 6 weeks, and that has been pretty much the case here. DD was also getting distressed at nap times and trying to get out of her cot. This and other things made me decide to get her a bed - she's quite an independent child and having her own little hard table and chair had already made a huge difference to mealtimes, play etc. So, we got the bed yesterday, and I was prepared to be up and down all night, but my girl has really surprised me. She went into her big bed at 6.45 last night, and did not leave it until she woke at 7am this morning. I dont' expect this every night - but I am so glad we gave it a shot!

Sorry, obv the bed didn't work for you, but I did want to highlight the regression. "This too shall pass" . Good luck