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8 month old needing dummy to sleep and get back to sleep - help!

6 replies

Scorpette · 23/01/2012 11:55

My DS is 8 months old. When awake, he has no interest in sucking his thumb or a dummy. When it comes to naps and sleep, however, it's a different matter. For naps, I have to rock him gently in my arms as I sush, and he drops off in minutes. However, he will not nap in the cot when laid down until his dummy is put in his mouth. At night, he breastfeeds to sleep or drifts off with the dummy in as DP pats and shushes him. When he cycles into light sleep in the night, he screeches at the top of his lungs until the fallen-out dummy is replaced in his mouth. He is actually semi-asleep whilst doing this, so he isn't conscious enough to find it and replace it himself (he can do this, we've been training him whilst he's awake). If we wait to see if he'll stop or find the dummy, he then wakes fully and is then hysterical for hours. If we pop it in, he'll sleep 11-12 hrs. However, this can mean we are waking to put the dummy in every hour some nights (and I am an imsomniac who can't get back to sleep quickly when woken). During his naps, he sometimes wakes up crying after 30 mins and the dummy has fallen out and I have to go in to replace it, then pick him up and rock him back off to sleep again in my arms.

However, sometimes, he will continue napping when the dummy falls out, and, once in a blue moon, he won't wake needing the dummy when being put down. Similarly in the night; some nights he unlatches and falls asleep without continuing to BF or needing DP to put his dummy in and sometimes, he sleeps right through, even though we can hear him being a bit restless during the lighter phases of sleep or even waking briefly and getting himself back off to sleep. It all seems very hit and miss. Have tried working out if there is anything different about the times when he doesn't need the dummy but it's totally random. Have also tried Elizabeth Pantley's trick of gently closing his mouth but it doesnn't work for him.

Incidentally, he started sleeping throught the night at 7 weeks and never woke needing a dummy. The habit started when he was teething and sucking the dummy at night was the only thing that gave any of us a few hours sleep.

At the moment, he is still in our room in his cot, as we only have a small flat, but we are hoping to move soon and move him into his own room. We really need to crack this dummy needing thing. He has never sucked his thumb when napping or sleeping and we wish he would! Have tried to get him to do it but it's never worked. Am desperate for advice. We won't do controlled crying, so would ask v politely that no-one suggests it. Help!

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dycey · 23/01/2012 14:00

Ah, I had problems with the dummy (you can search my old threads if they are still there) and I took it away at 5 months but now I wonder if that was wise..... I still had to attend to my baby every night til he was one and after that whenever unwell and between 2 and 3 years with bad dreams....... So. The taking away of the dummy wasn't some magic solution tho it helped for a while....

I have a 5 month old now and I havent given her a dummy but sometimes wish I had (journeys, ill nights when I am feeding her every hour etc).... Only I can get her back to sleep so can't go out whereas other people could put the dummy back in....

I think by 8 months they are pretty attached to objects and I would hope soon she can find it herself....

Am not really giving advice just sympathy. I did find that small babies and toddlers need a lot of attention in the night and if you dnt have the dummy then you will have to do something else to be honest.

dycey · 23/01/2012 14:02

Sorry he not she

lynniep · 23/01/2012 14:04

I just let him have it, and attach it to a sleepytot so he can find it. He's more attached to his bunny now than his dummy.

waffles1 · 24/01/2012 10:49

Really really recommend the sleepy tot, our 8 month old loves his! Since we have been using it (about 2 months) we no longer need to go in and pop his dummy back in as he is able to do this himself. Plus if he wakes up early from a nap i can hear him on the monitoring having a little moan then when i go up to check on him, he's fast asleep again, dummy in mouth and snuggling the bunny!
Eventually you can remove the dummies and the comforter becomes the bunny. Also i just keep the bunny for nap and bed time so it has also become a sleeping cue :-)

waffles1 · 24/01/2012 10:49

Obviously meant hear him on the monitor!!

Scorpette · 24/01/2012 22:59

Thanks for the tip about the Sleepytot, both of you. Will get one because if it doesn't work, then hey, he just gets another toy :) We're trying to get him, when awake, to play at finding his dummy when he's laid down and putting it in his mouth, so fingers crossed that helps too.

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