Are we doing this wrong? One year old sleep.

[ObviouslyOblivious]

DS will be one next week. He was an ok sleeper - BF to drowsy, in cot awake, fall asleep with one or two BFs per night, then up at 6ish.

For about the last 4-6 weeks (might be less but days, nights and weeks seem to Be melting together!) he's been refusing to fall asleep in his cot for night time and naps and I've had to feed him to sleep on our bed.

He'll sleep from bedtime until any time between 11 and 1 and then will wake and refuse to go back into the cot. I take him into our bed, poor DP sleeps on floor. If I put DS back in cot he will wake about an hour later. He'll sleep (but move around all over the place) in our bed and I get very little sleep in case he crawls off the bed.

We're all tired, I go back to work in four weeks. My thoughts so far have been just to get through it as it's a phase, hence bringing him into bed rather than spend hours resettling him in his room. Now I'm doubting myself.

What can I do?

Have you tried a sleep sack, he may be waking himself as he is bumping himself in his cot? I would tackle the day time nap first as that is when you have more energy. I would would feed him if that is what you want to do and then put him in his cot and stay with him. If he cries pick him up and cuddle him and then put him back. I would not take him out his room, if that is where you want him to sleep. I would just stay with him until he goes to sleep. It may take a while but he will learn that you are always there when he needs you but that he needs to sleep in his cot. Once you have the nap sorted then move onto the nightime. Remember that this is a phase and it will pass. Others will be along with other solutions. I hope you get some sleep soon.

Hi there. Great advice from homeaway! Though if you are all so exhausted you might be keen to tackle all in one go. It seems he has developed a strong suck to sleep association, you can either go the very gentle route where you feed him until he relaxes but is not asleep, then break the vacuum and remove him from the breast, he will fish for more, try to close his mouth gently with your finger, if he cries or resists put him back on until he relaxes and repeat the cycle. It can take a while but is a no-cry way so you may prefer this. i am a child sleep consultant and a lot of my clients have had some success with this. Once he gives up fishing and crying but is relaxed place him in his cot.
Alternatively, the technique outlined above is a fantastic one that will work for sure! Comfort him as much as needed in his cot, pick him up if really necessary but do not hold past the need for comfort and he will learn that it is ok to settle himself alone in his cot. There will be tears but they will be of frustration not distress.
Good luck, Nicola Watson

Thank you both. I've just completed the first ordeal of getting DS to sleep for his nap. I thought it would be a good one as he's knackered from swimming but.....
70 minutes of screaming with anger (but settling when I picked him up) and this weird thing of reaching out for my hands in the cot but then pushing them away when I touch him!
He slowly got less and less pissed off each time he was put back in and finally fell asleep! I can't decide whether to do it for bedtime yet!

Oops far too many !!!! in there, sorry.

Try it at bedtime too, and night waking, the more consistent you are with the technique the quicker he will learn how to settle! Good luck! I overuse the ! too!!

Well the time taken to settle for naps has gone from 70 minutes to 20 to 10 :o
And..... he's slept ALL NIGHT for the past three night's! Although that can't be related to what I've done as it started on Sunday night and I didn't start until Monday. And now he's getting a cold or maye even chicken pox (has been exposed, could still be in incubation period) so we'll go back to square one I'm sure...

Grrrr I did not put the ' in nights. Bloody iPhone thinks it knows better.

I haven't had a full night sleep since I was pregnant... DS is almost 1. I feel your pain, OP. He was an ok sleeper too until the 9 months sleep regresssion. I'm back at work so have no energy to settle him in his cot at 1am (he sleeps from 7 until about 1, then wakes up for a bottle between 3 and 4 and then sleeps until 6ish.

He settles very quickly next to either DH or I at 1am, but we just put an adult single mattress on the floor in his room. He is a wriggler and would crawl off the bed, I was worried too. I wanted to get a bed guard, but then realised DS would probably just try to crawl over it and fall!

I hope the full night sleep continues, OP. I know I will either have to tackle the problem or just ride it out, at the moment sleeping with him on the mattress is the only way I can get enough sleep to function the following day!