18 month old keeps waking

[Lynds1810]

Hi, I am at the end of my tether! I have a beautiful little boy, who just refuses to sleep through the night and I don't know where to go for help or what to do. Last night he had me up 9 times and since I am back at work, I feel like a zombie! My daughter, who is 5, is a brilliant sleeper, but she's always had a good bedtime routine and he hasn't. When he was little he would scream his head off as soon as he was put into his cot so I?ve always kept him with me downstairs and when he falls asleep would transfer him into his cot, and then when he wakes up I he's so unsettled and cries until I go and get him. I really need to start putting him to bed but I don't know where to start, the last time I tried he cried so much he was sick and it's just horrible, It's upsets everyone. It sounds so stupid that I don't know where to start, when I've already done it with my little girl, but I never had to go though all this as she would happily fall asleep on her own. My husband tells me that we've not taught him the life skill of how to fall asleep by himself. I thought he?d eventually get it the older he got but I think he?s getting worse. Although he manages at nursery when he?s put to sleep. I would really welcome some advice.

Poor you, sounds very tiring and stressful!

Your husband is right - he doesn't know how to fall asleep by himself, particularly if he falls asleep in one place and then wakes up in another (once you've transferred him to his cot). I always think of an example someone gave me of you falling asleep somewhere nice and warm and then waking up a few hours later in the garden. You'd be a bit confused, wouldn't you? That's why he's reacting the way he is.

You do need to give him a really good routine and put him to bed but without some sort of sleep training, it's not going to happen easily. I'd suggest the baby whisperer's pick up, put down method. It's not a quick fix (three/four nights) and it will take a while (possibly a few hours each night) but it's less aggressive than controlled crying and I've seen it work.

The other thing you say is that he 'cries until I go and get him'. This isn't how controlled crying works - you should only leave for short intervals, maybe only a minute to start with.

Hope that helps. x

Thank you, I do have a copy of the baby whisperer - so I'll have a look at that. Last night it was 4 times??!! Still feel exhausted. Thank you for the reply. x