Emotional impact of PU/PD

[BelleJolie]

Hi

We have struggled with DS' sleep for five months and we really want to get it sorted so we have started the baby whisperer's pick-up-put-down method. We have found some success with it (so far).

I wanted to avoid controlled crying or cry it out as I fear the emotional consequences of these approaches (not judging anyone who has used these approaches; I'm just uncomfortable with them).

However, the PU/PD method came with quite a lot of tears, so wasn't as gentle as I'd hoped. It took about forty minutes the first time but he fell deeply asleep and I can see that it will be a good way to help him to learn to fall asleep on his own (he constantly fights sleep unless rocked, bounced, fed etc).

Comforting him with the method during the night worked really well and he resettled himself without tears.

This morning, however, when I used it for his nap, he cried again...more than what I thought he would, despite me picking him and comforting verbally. He seemed quite distressed that I kept putting him back down once he'd calmed down.

What do people think of the emotional impact of PU/PD? Do you think letting him cry but having me comfort him is different to leaving him to cry alone??

Not much help OP, as I haven't tried PU/PD, but just a thought. You say you have struggled with his sleep for 5 months, is your DS younger than 6 months? Sleep training isn't recommended before 6 months, AFAIK.

Also, I would say if you're not comfortable with PU/PD, then maybe it's better not to do it, and choose something else, gradual withdrawal or something similar?

We tried it and it felt like we were teasing DS. Didn't bother with naps as it's more important to me to get a nap, I didn't care how!

We stopped pupd after three nights and settled him in his cot instead. We had to go back to rocking etc at times anyway - once his night sleep got better I was less hung up on self settling for bedtime as soon noticed that he still woke even if he did self settle.

Also for naps I gently encouraged self settling but it was a damn site quicker to give him a helping hand than make him fall asleep alone! I was more relieved at him napping in the cot after months of naps on me or in the sling.

Similar story to iggly - don't really are about how DD falls asleep for naps as long ad I can get her asleep in her cot. There has never been any correlation with gettin her to sleep at night anyway.

PUPD really didn't work for us - as iggly said it felt like teasing her. She just got more and more wound up. Gradual withdrawal worked better for us, though with as little intervention as possible - anything we do tends to wind her up especially touching or talking to her.

I reckon you will know instinctively if it's right for your LO.

Thanks for your replies. Man this baby sleep stuff is hard!

Am feeling much better, now. We have got to PU/PD after trying everything else... We tried gradual withdrawal and had some success with it but then he regressed and we had terrible trouble getting him to sleep at all. The PU/PD is working, thank goodness, and he cries less now during it. He responds better to the comfort he is given in his cot too which is good.

Nickname, my DS is five and a half months old. He is showing signs of developing object permanence so we felt we could implement some sleep training (I believe that is why they suggest waiting till six months...?). The baby whisperer suggests PU/PD can be used from four months. I'm also going back to work in a couple of weeks so we need to get the sleep thing sorted otherwise I'll be a zombie! :)