PU/PD and Shh/pat

[viagrafalls]

I just typed out a huge long message and it just got deleted when MN went offline
Will try to start again - please bear with me as it may be long.
How long does it take for the pu/pd thing to start to improve? I have been trying it for the last 3 days with my 4.5month old DD and it varies between 20 minutes and an hour of picking her up etc, I am so tired. If I get her down at exactly the right time it all goes well but this afternoon I had to go out in the car and she was so exhausted when we got home that after 40 minutes of Pu/pd I had to abandon it as she was screaming and stiffening her little body on the way down to the cot so we went out for a walk with the sling and she fell asleep on me.
I have read the Baby Whisperer book but nowhere does she actually tell you how to do it - a friend tells me its the other book where she describes the technique and also sssh/pat but can anyone tell me what it is? I'm worried I'm doing it wrong and thats why she hasn't improved yet...(I've just ordered it from Amazon but would like a headstart)
Also, she is a terrible napper. She only naps for 45 minutes. To the minute. I know this is how long her sleep cycle is and this is also the reason why I'm trying to get her to learn to sleep herself - she wakes up and is still soo soo tired, the other day she went back to bed after only 20 minutes of being awake!
She has a dummy that she is pretty attached to (only at bedtimes) but she has started to try to pull it out so she can put it back in again herself but obviously she doesn't have the motor skills yet and it is so frustrating as at naptime and bedtime she will often be almost asleep when out comes the dummy and she cries. I've tried leaving her to see if she will settle without it but she just gets more awake. I am so very tired as she is up a lot in the night at the moment which I presume is the 4 month growth spurt combined with her trying to roll over.
If you're still reading and have any advice about the dummy ( I think I know I've got to go cold turkey - How long does that take??? So tired)
or if you can describe the shh/pat and pu/pd techniques to me I will love you forever!
I have just been diagnosed with PND which I'm sure has been brought on by the terrible sleep that we both have. sometimes I am so anxious about being woken up that I just lie awake because I can't sleep and I am in a vicious circle!
Help!

The principles of the 2 are roughly the same. With shh/pat when your DD gets upset you pick her up and put her against her shoulder and pat her back whilst ssshhhing across her ear. When she settles down and her breathing settles down as she relaxes you put her down, but keep up the sshhing and still patting (this is a bit difficult unless she lies on her side/stomach) or even just keeping a hand on her chest. As she goes off to sleep gently remove your hand but keep up the sshing until she is asleep. If she cries a little she can stay in her cot and you keep ssh/patting. If she gets upset pick her up and repeat.You MUST put her down, even if she starts to cry as you do it, or it gives the wrong signal (can't remember exactly what but you will read this in the book).

This works as babies can only concentrate on 2 things at a time, and as long as you sound/pat confidently your DD will concentrate on these 2 things and forget about crying.

It can take a while and some days will be better than others. Your DD is still quite young as I believe The Baby Whisperer recommends starting at about 4 months.

Pick Up/Put Down is basically the same thing but without the sshh/pat. You generally use this on older children who will become more awake with the noise and patting.

Repeat ad nauseum until she goes to sleep.

right - okay, am so frazzled. I think we need to sort out the dummy first now as it seems to be the main obstacle in her self-soothing.
Thanks again.

Good luck with whatever you decide to try. Can't help on the dummy front I'm afraid as DD has never had any kind of comforter (her choice).