PND or just sleep deprivation?

[msbossy]

In the last nine months I have only had five nights of 6+ hours sleep.

DD2 is 9 months and BF (won't take a bottle). Has three good meals a day, snacks and a brief BF early afternoon as well as morning and bedtime. She wakes twice a night (on a good night). Some success with CC but then she gets the latest virus and we're back to square one.

DD1 is 3. Other than the odd night terror DD1 is a good sleeper but can wake anytime from 6am.

Some days are fine. Some days are horrid and i just can't find the patience i need. The crying (DD2) and whining(DD1) just makes me want to scream and pull my hair out.

I feel like I spend no fun time with them. It's all about feeding, cooking, and toilet trips.

I have absolutely no libido.

Is this within 'normal' realms of sleep deprivation or would anti-depressants help?

(((hugs))) I'm a FTM but I remember feeling exactly like that when my DS was younger & regularly EWing. We had 6 solid months of it & some mornings he would wake at 3.30am & would not go back to sleep. I found sleep deprivation utterly exhausting, & I don't think I realised at the time I went through it just how much it affected my ability to function normally. And it had a massive impact on my mood.

I did actually start to take antidepressants at the time & I did notice a real difference once I started them in terms of my mood - I felt better able to cope with & enjoy the day, but I have to admit that once DS started sleeping better & I didn't feel so exhausted, that was what helped the most.

Have you anyone else who can help with the NW's? If she is waking for feeds, I would say at 9months & on 3 solid meals a day she is really getting to a point where she shouldn't really need night feeds any more. Have you thought about using a sleep training method such as PU/PD to resettle her when she wakes instead of feeding?

DH is willing to help and did the 12-6 shift last night as I had to go in to work today. He had to pace around for 90 minutes but that's because she has a bad cold and is teething (and he has no boobs).

She's very hard to settle once woken so PU/PD has been a non-starter. We started trying CC and had some success but then she got an ear infection, then we were away for NY and then visitors and another cold this week . I'm feeding her again now ( 3rd time since 7 pm). As soon as she's better I'll try again. I just can't let her cry when I know she's not well and nothing but endless pacing or feeding will calm her .

I really want to hold off and see if more sleep helps me but I've been saying that for 4 months.

i think go to the docs. No harm in having a chat about it and see what he or she thinks.

completely and utterly normal with sleep deprivation. I think sometimes we label things are PND, when in actual pact it is the stark reality of lack of sleep taking its toll. It will absolutely have an impact on your health, concentration, patience levels, libido, ability to function in any way other than as an automaton.

I have been there, and I feel your dark despair. There is a support thread for sleep deprived parents, who do not judge, just offer hands to hold and coffee for those dark nights (I found it much too late so did not use it, but used a thread with DD many moons ago, very supportive).

This WILL Pass. DS is now 2.5, and honestly is not There with his sleeping, but it is better than it was and I get more sleep than I did, and I feel able to cope now, most of the time. But, for a while, i never thought it would end.

you need to:
be easy on yourself, this is not your doing, it is just how it is sometimes
do whatever is easiest to get sleep right now. Your sleep, wellbeing, and ability to function at a higher level than robot is much more important than finding a system that will work long term for sleeping through. If you need to bring her in with you so you can sleep do it. You need strength before you can tackle long term issues.
drink lots of water. Lots of it, helps to keep you hydrated and eases the tiredness feeling (a little).
take iron, and vit b supplements
Have a shower every day even if you cannot face it
try to get 10 mins fresh air each day

these things will not magically fix it al, but they will help you feel a little better.

Thank you! We've had a couple of good nights and a couple of bad this week. I also managed some extra daytime sleep and do feel much better. I always shower before I get the kids breakfast and we go for a walk most days - I learned early on with DD1 (who slept like an angel until she was 2!) that fresh air is my friend.

I'll look into the vitamins. I should still be taking pregnacare but I'm terrible at remembering to do so

DS2 is 2 and still doesn't sleep very well. DH and I now have a coffee habit as a result.

Agree with Passmyglass - no harm in mentioning it to the GP. Easier dealt with sooner than later.

Glad you got some good with the bad. It does get easier although that might seem so far off right now. I take spat one iron in the morning, easily absorbed with water and I chuck in a berocca dissolve able tablet, well boots own cheapass version of. Orange flavour and I drink it with half pint of water to keep my fluids up without thinking of it.

I have had some good breaks recently with the what was relentless night waking. So managed to recharge my batteries a little for the next/current stint of sleep trouble.

Do you get any time to yourself? To walk on your on, or have a swim, or lie in the bath without hassle, be in the house completely on your own with no children in it? I find going for a drive helps. I occasionally volunteer for a supermarket run so I can just be alone from it all, and it helps, even if it is not sleep, it is me time of sorts and gives me a break from the constant of it all. Although I am now at work again asks this gives me much needed me time! When I feel very very tired I actually look forward to working as it is easier than looking after young children ! !

Hope you manage to get some more sleep