Confused - what's the difference between self-settling and CC?

[WoodyAllenJesus]

I think I have got myself confused. I want my DD (14wks) to self-settle but at what point does this become controlled-crying?

AIUI CC is where you let them cry but go back and talk to them every once in a while. And self-settling is where they just cry a bit and then go to sleep?

But if I want her to self-settle then she has to cry a bit so what do I do then? Do I settle her as in CC or do I just give up and pick her up?

Like I say, I've got massively confused.

The sleeping has become a really big thing for me now as I cannot get her to nap at all during the day (except on me, whilst feeding, but once transferred to crib she wakes up or will only stay asleep for max 10 mins), and even at night now she is waking every 2 hours. I really feel like we're getting in bad habits and I want to stop it now :(

Please has anyone got any advice?

The way I see it, self settling just means going to sleep without you there to help. A baby may grumble or cry a little for a couple of minutes before they go off, or they may just drift off, or grunt, or rub something on their face, lots of different things.

I think CC is leaving them if it's a proper loud cry, or if it goes on longer than a couple of minutes. Then, as you say, going back in every few minutes.

Personally I would say that your 14 week old sounds totally normal. They really can't get into bad habits so young. Many babies sleep longer when newborn and wake more as they get slightly older (particularly around the dreaded four month sleep regression, or if they get nosy and don't feed well in the day because there are things going on).

Personally I would do what you need to to get her to sleep for the time being, and then there are gentler things you can do when she's a bit bigger. Pick up, put down works well for some people, and teaches babies to self settle without leaving them to cry, but they need to be a bit older. It's a very personal opinion though. CC isn't recommended below about 6 months now IIRC.

Does that help at all?

Self settling is when a baby can go to sleep without you there to help them. CC is a sleep training method used to teach self settling and reduce night wakings. Some children can self settle fairly easily while some children it can take years or resorting to methods such as CC or CIO.
CC isn't recommended before 6 months. I taught DS to self settle from a few weeks old by at first just sitting next to him and stroking him in his moses basket and then leaving the room and only coming back in if he cried. I would never have let it turn in to a proper cry and always comforted him if he seemed upset. It was great until 6 months when he stated to get seperation anxiety and would get upset if I left the room, so now at 10 months old he has ost the ability to self settle!