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2 yrs old - suddenly tearful at bedtime & disturbed nights...

31 replies

lazzaroo · 08/01/2012 19:50

...in the past week night-times have become a bit of a nightmare for us. We've never had a brilliant sleeper but she would go to bed wihtout to much fuss, settling herself etc and usually sleep through. In the past week she has been waking in the night, usually at 2or 3am and for up to 2 and half hours. She cries out, nit just a little bit as we try to leave her to settle herlse fagin, but really desperate. She isi mmediatley re-assured as soon as we go in. But clings and cries if we try to return her to her cot. She will happily sit on our lap in the chair in her room or come into our bed, but seems reluctant to fall back to sleep again for AGES! and has to be in close contact with us.

At first we thought she might be teething, but once we have gone to her there is no more tears which suggest not pain? have conisdered too ht, too hot, overtired, too much daytime sleep etc etc but nothing seems to have made any difference.

Could it be nightmares? if so any suggestions on what we can do to help?

We have preety regular and chilled out routine. Bath, few stories etc and have stopped her watching anything we think might be scary (eg Gruffalo - that's as scary as it gets!).

She happily gets in her cot at night whiloe I read to her, but then puts off me leaving, asks for more and when I say no more and try to leave she gets very upset again.

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FlightofFancy · 27/01/2012 12:37

We're also suffering with this at the moment - and going mad. DS is just 2, and has always been a bit shaky on the sleep front, but generally good at settling himself to sleep in the evening. Over Christmas I could just pop him in his cot, say night night and leave the room - all fine. Then suddenly, one evening he woke about an hour after bedtime screaming, and now won't settle at bedtime and then wakes 2-3 times in the light screaming. The only way to comfort him is to go in - in previous phases we've managed to calm him from outside, but he's getting hysterical. I know it was probably triggered as I've changed jobs, so the routine has changed a bit, but I've tried all sorts of reassurance.
Hoping it passes, as it has before, but trying some CC in the meantime (probably making it worse!). But, CC doesn't seem to help as he's standing up - how can you sleep if you won't lie down!! I'm not spending my life sleeping on the floor in his room FFS!
Any advice welcome...

LuckyC · 27/01/2012 12:53

Thanks loveis I am now going to try and reduce daytime naps further. This cannot go on!

Flight sounds awful. Is he scared of something in his room? Is he too hot/cold? If he is waking up it sounds like it might be nightmares / anxiety possibly? Which might be linked to your routine change. Unless there has been another change in routine like not giving him a drink / food at a certain time late in the day, which can mean he is getting hungry or doing extra big wees and soaking his nappy or something?

Missmakesstuff exactly the same age as my DD. I think it sounds like you might be onto something with this food / tummy business. Why don't you take her to doc or health visitor and really talk this through and see if you can rule out this as a cause. Be demanding with them and make them take you seriously. Is she doing very very pale poo? My DD was for a while and was very upset and unsettled and had a milk intolerance (now cleared up.)

It's really hard, all this speculation. Could be ANYTHING. WHY CAN'T THEY JUST TELL US!!!!

Also - which applies to everyone - a good idea to keep a diary maybe and see if we can identify any patterns?

I am now getting up at 5am to commute into London and so any disruption really affects me.

lazzaroo · 27/01/2012 20:00

Well, as always I thought we'd got over this 'phase' but we've had more waking this week and although she didn't wake during the night last night she was up at 4.30am today!!! Tried desperately to get her back to sleep but she wasn't interested. Spent the morning thinking 'surely she is going to crash out in a minute!' (praying that she would so I could too!)but she was happy as larry until she had nap at 12.30pm. Slept then until 2.45pm. I thought about waking her sooner but was too damn tired myself!

The one thing that has definitley improved is that she is now happy to go to sleep on her own. We read a couple of stories and then I leave her to sette herself. She often chatters away for 10-15mins but no tears.

So, we'll see what tonight brings!! Hoping for good nights sleep for all...

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dreamingbohemian · 27/01/2012 21:12

Oh thank god for this thread!

I have the same situation as Flight really -- DS, 21 months, never a great sleeper but at least it was always super easy to get him to bed. Pop him in, story, good night, he'd be out.

The last few days though he will not go to sleep! He screams and cries. If I stay with him he clings to me so hard and wails and is very agitated but if I leave he doesn't settle either.

I'm at my wits end Sad

His naps are a bit all over the place right now but I don't think getting rid of them is the answer -- today he had no nap at all and was exhausted and it still took an hour to get him to sleep.

I tried to do the going in after 5, 10, 15 minutes but then whenever I would go in he would jump up and scream so it seems counterproductive?

I'm wondering if it's because DH is away (DH usually puts him into bed) and my mum is staying here. I was away last week as well.

I know I shouldn't panic but things are so stressful right now, I was already going to be up until 2 am working and now with that hour-long bedtime it's going to be even later.

FlightofFancy · 27/01/2012 21:26

Well, more tears tonight. I thought I'd try bribery, so we coloured in a train-shaped sticker chart and I told him that for each evening he went to sleep on his own he'd get a sticker then when he had 7 he'd get a toy train. He agreed, but then still kicked off so I don't think he understands! It's so frustrating that they're not quite old enough to tell us what the problem is!
Will try again tomorrow as crying isn't working. Last thing I want after a day at work is an hour lying on the floor... though at least it's DH's turn to do night duty tonight. Glad to hear we're not alone.

lazzaroo · 30/01/2012 20:32

well, things are definitely improving. They aren't perfect...but don't thikn they ever will be! We went ahead with moving little one from cot to bed (decided it really couldn't make things any worse!). She's wuite tall for her age and moves around a ridiculous amount in the night so thought it might help. Last night was the first night and I was AMAZED when she got in bed, let me read her f few stories, say goodnight and walk out. I was waiting for her to follow me but nothing! looked in 20mins later and she was fast asleep! stayed in bed all night unti getting up at 5.30am (that's the ont perfect bit!!).

Putting her to bed was a bit trickier tonight but no tears...I think she's just realised she can get out herself so found that hilarious for 10 mins! after a stern 'stay in bed!' she did! and went to sleep! fingers crossed that's where she stays all night!

good luck everyone else!

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