When & how to stop "dream" / 11pm feed

[nearlytherenow]

DS2 , 8.5 months, is finally sleeping reasonably well. He goes to bed at 7, then I've been doing a "dream" feed when I go to bed (11ish) - in reality this often wakes him, but he settles very easily - then he will wake for a feed somewhere between 5 and 6, and go back to sleep until almost 7. This is amazing after months of sleep deprivation, but now I'm getting greedy! I'd really like to be able to cut out the dream feed so that I have the option to get an early night, or even to go out for the evening (he is breastfed and doesn't take a bottle - haven't even tried and it seems a bit late now). We introduced this feed about 3 months ago, and it did seem to really help, pushing his longest period of sleep back to the stretch after we went to bed. So I'm a bit scared to stop, but think that by this age I should be able to? He eats absolutely loads through the day (BLW so couldn't say exactly how much, but he's definitely got the hang of shovelling it in), and is still on average having 4/5 breastfeeds plus the dreamfeed.

So, do I stop now? And do I just do cold turkey one night? Or try to cut down a bit more gradually by reducing the feeding time slowly? He got into the habit of waking for this feed, but hasn't done so for the last week, so I wonder if now might be a good time.

I'd go with your guts feelings. It is really reliable. Babies are so changeable what wih growth spurts and teething and stuff so what works for a few weeks may change for a couple etc etc. If you try a night and it works stay with it if not perhaps it's too soon

You have to gauge you bfeeding, my milk wasnt that rich and my ds2 was always hungry so I kept the dream feed going for ages and ages.... Well until he ate big meal three times a day regularly.. Then I introduced a formula dream feed as I was hopeless at getting my reserves up for the end of the day and I wanted to give him a full belly to sleep on. I don't think there is any harm in keeping the dream feed going. Mind you I wrote off my social life for a long time too. Good luck x

Stop the dream feed and see what happens? The worst thing that can happen is that you re-introduce it again for a few weeks...

At 10months I realised that mine seemed to be not exactly full after the final breastfeed at 7pm so I offered a bottle which was downed completely!

Appreciate that you might not want to bother with a bottle though...

Thank you. My gut feeling is that he doesn't really need this feed and isn't taking much - will try not doing it for a few days and see what happens (I live in constant fear however of him reverting to hourly wake ups, so I will need to put my brave hat on this evening!).

I stopped around this age, I was doing it at 10 or 10:30 when I went to bed then one night he didn't really wake up so I left him. He's still waking at 5 for a feed, or 5:30 at a push but was doing that with a dreamfeed so no change there.

He also wouldn't touch a bottle until around 10months and is suddenly following other babies round toddler group shouting for their bottles of milk!

Another option is to move his dream feed forward with half an hour, and see when he wakes up. So do it at 1030pm, then 10pm and see whether his waking time remains the same.

OP -Am in almost exactly the same situation with DD! Trying to pluck up the courage to try it.. But irrationally scared of rocking the sleeping well boat.

Have you done it yet and if so how did it go?

I did it - just went cold turkey on Tuesday night. I think Tuesday and Wednesday he stirred at about 11, sobbed a little, but had stopped by the time I got to his bedroom door (so under a minute, probably) and gone back to sleep. He hasn't woken any more in the night for not having this feed - if anything he's been sleeping a bit longer in the morning - yesterday he managed 7pm - 6.30am, which I think is a PB for him.

I could have written your post nearly there now word for word! My DD is now 10 months and I only introduced the dream feed at around 7 months after we did CC as I was scared she would be hungry (or that I would think she was hungry). Anyway, every night I would wonder whether or not to lift her up and feed her as she looked so deeply asleep, then I would always do it thinking to myself 'but if she wakes up I'll wonder if she's hungry and might give in and feed her!'... I started to do the bringing it gradually earlier thing - but wasn't organised enough and would sometimes do it later again.. In the end over Christmas I just went cold turkey. It worked and she doesn't need the feed. I think you know in you heart - how many gulps are they taking during this feed? With me it really wasn't much as I'm sure my milk is slowing down anyway. But when you have a bottle / formula refuser what can you do? This parent hood lark is all just a guessing game really.

I have done it too! :o
Absolutely no impact on her sleep whatsoever ( so far touch wood and keeping fingers crossed for a few more nights yet! )
Now I just have to get the hang of getting myself up to bed a bit earlier to take advantage of the opportunity for an early night!
Feel quite liberated and also hoping this might be enough to bring back AF ready for TTC - whole other topic though.
nearlytherenow thank you - your thread definitely gave me a bit of impetus to take the plunge!
sophielouise you are so right I tend to over analyse these things but for ages now I have known she could get by without the milk very rarely woke for it and it made no difference whether i did it at 10 or 12 - but as its been my first few months back at work I just haven't been brave enough to put it to the test.
So anyone else out there in the same boat - I think the conclusion is go for it!

Glad it has worked out for you both, enjoy those early nights! I was in bed at 10pm last night, bliss. The AF / TTC thing is also in the back of my mind... glad to hear I am not the only one whose AF has not returned (with DS1, despite what felt like near-constant breastfeeding, I had my first AF when he was 12 weeks, so this time round I've really been starting to worry!). Hopefully a nice long stretch at night will do the trick!