2 week old and Moses basket

[AntarcticEther]

I know my newborn wants to be close to her mum at this young age , but I can't get her to sleep in her basket for even 10 mins , which means I sit awake all night holding her while she sleeps . Even in the day its 20 minutes at most . Any tips , or just to carry on as I am and wait for her to get through this phase ?

I did put her in our bed last night from 0400 and she slept , but I still don't sleep as I am scared of waking to find her dead . We had a traumatic birth , crash section with a general , I was only in hospital for an hour , and they were debating whether to send us home as was only 2 cm , then her heart rate dropped off and meconium flooded out of me , and the next thing I knew the alarms were going and my clothes were being ripped off . The cord was wrapped around her neck very tightly , five minutes later I would not have her here , and I'm afraid of co sleeping in case it goes wrong , even if I do if properly and its very unlikely .

Have you tried swaddling?

Also the not sleeping when they sleep because of the fear is normal. DD is 21mo now and I still have to 'check on her' when I go to bed, and panic if she has a lie in.

Really, co-sleeping (if you do it properly) is very safe, and safer than sitting up with her on you and risking you eventually falling asleep with exhaustion whilst holding her (not trying to scare you!)

Co-sleeping can be very safe and recommended by some for successful breastfeeding. Here is some research links

DS would also never settle in his Moses basket and weeded up co-sleeping, which was the only way I could function. We followed the guidelines and I was so happy with it that we aren't even bothering to try and put DD in a Moses basket/crib tips time around. We have no crying from her at night - none. When she is ready for a feed, I wake up and feed her (dozing through most of it tbh) and then she goes back to sleep.

Co-sleeping is jot recommended if not breastfeeding and if not following safety guidelines. It is more dangerous to fall asleep with an infant on a sofa or chair than in a planned, safe sleeping environment.

We tried swaddling but she is a thrasher and screams . ill have another read about co sleeping , I just have a horrible image and scenario in my head of what may happen .

Why is a sofa more dangerous ? I gather they are more likely to roll off , but is there more to it ? Is like to share with husband .

The sofa has cushions etc. that might move position and smother her so don't do this. If you are concerned you can get a side attachment for your bed so she can co sleep in her own 'part' of the bed. I could never do it as I was worried of the same - this is normal.

I had a very similar birth experience to you, it happened very quickly but was so scary. It left me a bit shaken for a while and I totally understand why you might be reluctant to co-sleep.

We eventually settled on a sort of half co-sleeping thing. I bf lying down and we both nod off as he?s feeding and only when I've had a little nap and he?s totally fast asleep and oblivious to everything do I put him in his cot. Before that I would be up for hours and he would scream every time I tried.

Whenever we are both asleep in the bed I dream that there is something next to me that I must protect (last time it was a badger!).

I hope you find something that works for you. A good rest is really important after what you've been through.

With a sofa, the baby can get squashed between you and the back of the sofa.

Husband can still be in bed with you and DD.

Sounds like a v. traumatic beginning to life for your daughter. She might benefit from lots of skin to skin. I also wonder if she might be in a bit of pain after the birth and this is maybe why she won't go in her moses. Maybe some cranial osteopathy may soothe her. (just a wild guess, but a possibility).

Another trick to try is to wait till she is in a really deep sleep then move her to the moses (you could pre warm this with a hot water bottle too).

BTW, I'm not suggesting you try dreaming about badgers...I just think it shows how strong a mother's instinct is, even when asleep.

Is she properly winded when you put her down? DD (3 weeks) won't last ten minutes if she has wind (even thiugh BF) and it's getting worse as she gets older! So have to make sure I wind her. Other option is to use a bouncy chair in the day for naps or a sling and put a cot by the side of your bed with the side down for nights. You can secure it to your bed with bungee cords. This gives her her own space but she's near you too.

Your birth sounds traumatic - can you talk this over with someone? Your HV may be able to help.

I know exactly what you mean OP - DD was prem and I worried massively about co-sleeping with her and would end up with her asleep on me all night. In the end I used the cocoon off the pushchair and put it on the bed next to me at night (it was a p+t one which has soft- ish sides). I put her in it when she was asleep and kept my hand on her to keep her settled while I slept next to her (which was comfy as the side folded down). It meant I didn't worry about rolling in her or making her too hot but I could still tell if she was breathing. If you have some spare cash you could try one of those lovely co-sleeping cots too.