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Sleep deprivation - practical help needed please

4 replies

Pootletrinket · 22/12/2011 07:11

My baby is 8 months old and, until she got a cough/cold in the last 10 days of November, used to sleep at/around 6.30pm until 7.30 am without really trying - she'd wake during the night when the dummy fell out but that was relatively easiely remedied. She wasn't great at going down on her own, but would usually drop off after her bedtime bottle and I'd pop her into bed still asleep or I'd pop her into her cotbed awake and she'd drift off within 10 minutes or so.

Then, with the cough, it was really a bad one which clearly hurt her, she had temperature and was very uncomfortable, sleeping for only an hour or so at a time, so we got into the habit of bringing her into bed with us, she could nestle up against us on her side, breathe a bit easier and sleep.

Cold now gone, she likes to sleep on her side and went through a few nights with waking every time she tips herself onto her tummy and wakes not being able to put herself on her back (she can when not in her sleeping bag but think it's combination of tiredness etc); tried wedging her on her side, but she also likes to be on her back as well.

Sleep has got progressively worse over last few weeks; from waking throughout the night to now screaming whenever she's left alone at bedtime - understand that cuddling up has become a nice little habit for her but not for me, particularly as I'm the light sleeper and also work FT. Also, if she does fall asleep on me/cuddled up to me, when I put her into her bed, she wakes and screams.

When she wakes in the night, once she's become awake properly, rather than just crying, there's loads of leg banging and thrashing, have tried gently holding her legs and arms but that doesn't work anymore either.

It's getting ridiculous, I'm so tired I can barely think and have constant headaches and she's not getting enough sleep either (last night from 9-6).

Pretty sure she's spending too much time overtired and therefore I'm on a losing battle anyway. Thinking tonight to try and put her to bed earlier with bath, calming routine but don't know how to handle the screaming - she doesn't self soothe, just winds herself up and if I go in there, she won't calm unless I pick her up (and then screams as soon as I put her down or walk away - last night managed to get her to sleep after massive battle by keeping my hand on her chest with her tightly gripping my fingers).

Also, during the night, no idea what to do there, she's still in with us at the moment; was about to move her into room with her big sister when all of this started. Our tiny spare room is my office, should we move her in there during Christmas (and I'm not using it during the day)? Seems that being on her own has become a big thing for her.

Sorry for long post, practical advice would be appreciated, thank you x

OP posts:
liveinazoo · 22/12/2011 07:40

ive had two who wouldnt self settle and you have clearly reached the point where its time for some separation.i personally couldnt do the whole leaving them to cry thing

Pootletrinket · 22/12/2011 07:54

Thank you, you're right, when she used to self soothe, I didn't mind leaving her to cry as it wasn't a real distress cry and it calmed; this type is distressed screaming and gets worse so she gets hot, coughs, and wretches.

That sounds pretty much like what I did last night, so did you just persevere with that whether or not they were crying but just not make eye contact or pick them up?

Think I need to adapt her daytime sleeping to more regular and shorter naps, perhaps - all at once seems a bit daunting, but need to start somewhere!!

Need DH to step up and help me more, but he could sleep through an earthquake and just lacks patience!

OP posts:
liveinazoo · 22/12/2011 08:26

most men do where sleeps concerned!i sat and stroked til they easily accepted that.then did same with each stage so they didnt get in a state again.it does take time and patience,but in the long run imagine the possibility of more than a couple of undesturbed hours kipGrin.you sound fired up to tackle it head on.hoping sleep is coming to you shortly!

Pootletrinket · 22/12/2011 10:05

Thanks, me too!!

Managed to put her down for her daytime nap in her cot - 15 mins of screaming and then she gave up (DH is SAHD and normally cuddles her on our bed for her daytime naps - poor little thing, no wonder she thinks that's how it should be all the time!) - let's hope it continues!!

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