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So.. what if CC/ CIO doesn't work?

4 replies

festivalwidow · 19/12/2011 16:09

This is probably my fiftieth post about my sleep-averse DD..
Now 20mo, never been a great sleeper but for a while managed to sleep through the night from about 8:15 - 6:15. Is now waking up 3 times a night on average, usually uses the potty and goes back to bed without much fuss.

We have a pretty good nighttime routine, right up until the 'falling asleep' bit.
She's absolutely fine if there's someone in the room, sitting in the dark beside the cot but not interacting in any way; in which case she'll turn over and go to sleep.
If she is still awake, even slightly, when we leave, she'll start screaming. We tried CC; however she will scream the house down until someone comes to see her. If we go back to 'check' after a few minutes she gets even more distressed at the 'departure' and the screaming can go on for hours as she winds herself up more and more.
DH favours CIO, however while she will scream until exhausted (it can take half an hour or more), it seems to make her night wakings worse and more frequent. CC seems to make things worse too rather than making her feel more secure, and unless one of us tends to her immediately when she wakes at night she'll scream for a long time, which with paper-thin walls and neighbours doesn't make us popular at 2am.

So, the only option seems to be to stay sitting in the room until she is 'properly' asleep, each time she wakes. This isn't something either of us want to carry on infinitely, but attempts to 'teach' her to fall asleep on her own haven't seemed to work. Has anyone else found CC/ CIO to make things worse rather than better, and if so, what did work for you? Co-sleeping isn't really an option as she's an epic wriggler..

OP posts:
bankholiday · 19/12/2011 20:11

How is leaving her to scream supposed to make her feel more secure? From what you're saying, CC is not working,it is making her sleep worse even. If anything, she might need more reassurance before being able to sleep better. I know sleep deprivation is torture, but I feel for your DD, what you're saying sounds cruel. She is tiny, waking up afraid and is left to scream for hours...

I'm sure it's just a phase, can't you or your DH sleep in her room for a little while until she is reassured?

WillSingForCake · 19/12/2011 20:17

How about gradual retreat? Sit by her cot for a week, then sit a bit further away for a week etc etc. Then she'll slowly get used to bring more & more on her own.

RandomMess · 19/12/2011 20:19

Does seem like gradual retreat would work best in that situation.

Parietal · 20/12/2011 05:09

As well as gradual retreat, a night light and a teddy and lots of cuddles & reassurance in the daytime might help. Even if you've got these, a new cuddly toy and a big story about how new bear will look after you etc might help reduce her anxiety.

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