7 month old, breastfeeding and co-sleeping nightmare please help me

[CharliesMummyMeg]

Hi Everyone,
Please could ANYONE give me some advice or help, i feel like I am loosing the battle. Im sorry but i dont understand all the DD and DH and stuff yet as I am new so bear with me.
Our 7 month old son who is breastfed and has been since he was born will not go to sleep at night without a boob, he will fall asleep on me or someone else in the day for a nap without boob but not at night. He will not go down in his own crib either, i used to breastfeed him in my arms and try and put him down it would take normally 3 attempts but now if i try that he is up all night, the only way i can make him sleep is if he comes in our bed and breastfeeds to sleep i then have to creep off downstairs but after about 20 mins he is crying again so I have to feed him to sleep again.
He will not take a dummy.

I dont know what I am doing wrong, i feel like i am failing and im utterly at a loss.
Our routine got messed up abit by Daddy walking in and out of our family - hopefully daddy is back and here to stay now so we can try and regain a routine which would help. So, everyone, please help, whata your routine? How did you manage to stop co-sleeping? How did you manage to stop feeding to sleep? How did you manage to get little ones in own room?

Also, my little lad doesnt take a bottle, and its very hard to make him drink from a cup, i feel like i have to breast feed him or else he will not get enough food ( he doesnt really like eating!)

Please help.

Meg xx

Is the problem that you want to stop co-sleeping? Our situation sounds similar except I'm happy to BF him to sleep and we co-sleep with no current plans to stop. (My DS 'dear son" is 10 mnths.) As for nutrition is there any reason why you shouldn't keep breastfeeding? He is still very little and won't eat lots of solids for a couple of months, surely? If you have some sort of deadline eg going back to work, then I can see it would be a problem, otherwise I would just relax and just keep BF until he is confident drinking from a sippy cup, and eating more solids. Sorry - not v helpful I know, but I think you are putting yourself under too much stress! You are not failing! If you are BF at 7 months you are doing a great job.

Thank you. Well the problem really is my other half, he makes me feel like Charlie my DS shouldnt be in bed with us still - thank you for your kind comment, i have now screwed my head on and realise how much i love BF and co sleeping with my DS :) Thanks chick xx

My 6 month old is the same. I bf him to sleep downstairs and he sleeps on the sofa whilst I'm reading or interneting. Then I take him to bed with me and bf him to sleep again, and a couple of times in the night. He's my third but the only one I've bf or coslept with this long. I know it's not going to be forever x

Hi Meg, I'm currently breast feeding and co-sleeping with my 14 month old, he naps with me in the day time and has a bath-story-bed routine for the night. I'm the only one in my family that has breast fed this long and the only one to co-sleep aswell and at around 5 months I was starting to get a bit agitated because family members would question our way of living, but I defended it because I could see how content my son was, and I can still see it now. I love getting into bed with him at 7pm and snuggling down, sometimes I stay with him and sometimes I will leave him to sleep in our bed. Having him with me so much just feels natural. My partner has mostly been supportive, obviously it makes intimacy a bit weird having a baby laying next to you especially if you don't have anywhere else to go to do the deed!! I'm more than happy to have my son in bed with me until he wants to have his own bed and room, I guess I may suggest it to him when he is a little older but ultimately it is his decision. He happily drinks from a doidy cup/normal cup/drinks bottle in the day and he feeds from me a lot still. He also never took to a soother or a normal bottle, I guess it felt very different to a nipple for him. Just think of all the money you are saving from him not wanting any of those things .
I'm sorry I haven't really offered any help but I just thought I'd let you know what you are not alone, it is usually less stressful to change your outlook on a situation than change his routine. What you are doing is a truly wonderful thing, as he grows it will get easier.

Hi Meg, i have a similar sleep situation with my ds and threads on mumsnet have made me feel a lot better. I think it is surprisingly normal! I still have the longer term aim of ds moving into his own cot and then into his own room because much as i like co-sleeping i miss having my own bed space and some couple time with dh. just wanted to say it sounds like you are doing an amazing job. I am finding this stage quitetough and you are having to cope with uncertainty in your relationship at the same time. well done for keeping going with everything. the no cry sleep solution is a good read if you are looking for advice about gradually changing your sleeping arrangements. old mumsnet posts are also worth looking at ....these sleep issues come up a lot. good luck with it all x

Thank you all so much, you made me cry being so supportive. I love you all xx

I think your OH has to suck it up really - while he's been in and out of your lives, you've been nurturing your son! If you want to make changes, fine, but they should be ones you are ready for, and he needs to help implement them. You sound like a very caring mum.

Same situation here with 7 month old daughter. She bfs to sleep, then I creep downstairs for a couple of hours, but sometimes she wakes to I have to go back up for a feed. At around 10pm I join her and we co-sleep for the rest of the night and bf as she wants. DH sleeps in another room as he snores horribly anyway. DH is putting some presure on me to move DD to her own room but I don't think she is ready yet.

Regarding weaning as far as I understand it milk (breast or formula) should be the main source of calories until a year old and weaning up to then is more for fun than nutrition. I am bfing on demand and offering some solids which some days she eats ravenously (ate a whole banana the other day) and other days she refuses completely.

Hi, I'm also cosleeping/breast feeding a 6mo. We have bought a co-sleeper cot... Expensive but means DS has his own 'space', I can always touch or cuddle him and he is getting better and better at being alone as we gradually move apart. Just what's working for us

I have a 9 month old dd who always fed to sleep and has coslept with me for most of the night since she was about 5 months old. At 7 months we were exactly the same as you, and I second everyone above who's said it's all normal and healthy etc so won't say it all again!

However, just to add an extra bit of hope, at about 8 and a half months my dd suddenly just started to be able to fall asleep on her own sometimes too. One night she was awake after her bedtime feed, but looking tired still, so I thought I'd try putting her in her cot, she was quiet (would normally scream at the sight of the cot), 5 mins later was asleep, I was gobsmacked. It's happened a few times now, though she mostly still feeds to sleep. So in answer to one of your questions, I did absolutely nothing to stop her feeding to sleep, but she's sort of started working it out for herself. Hope that gives you a bit of encouragement

My 7 month old is very similar. She will settle back to sleep during the evening with a cuddle or a pat, but not once we're in the room (when she must be in bed with my. Preferably with a hand across the other boob ), and she needs the boob to go off at night.

I like to think that, in evolutionary terms, she is a bloody genius. No way would she get left alone long enough in the cave for the sabre toothed tiger to eat her!!

Seriously though, it's totally normal and understandable. You are your son's whole world at this age. He understands daddy, siblings, the rest of the world is pretty much one big blob. You are his sense of security and it is totally normal to want you close.

As he gets older, the No Cry Sleep Solution book has some good tips we used with my older daughter (2.5 -bloody brilliant sleeper. Changed around 1). Most libraries have it if you don't want to buy.

On the bottle, my older daughter wouldn't take one either. At 7 months you are probably nearly there until he gets the cup thing sussed. I can't remember when mine managed it, but when I went back to work at 11 months she was certainly drinking fine because I can't remember being worried at all.

Hope you are feeling a bit better.