Co-Sleeping DD 4weeks, safe or dangerous?

[MarriedInVegas]

Hi, i need a bit of help please! My gorgeous 4 week old dd has never spent the whole night in her moses basket, every night we have tried to put her in but without fail ends up back in our bed with us. I worry so so much about the risks of co sleeping after our health visitor warned us of the dangers of it.
Dh and i are not thin but not obese either, prahaps a little overweight so i worry about rolling over ect on her but what with breast feeding/tirednss/crying ect she always ends up in bed with us! What are your experiences please? Should we try her in a cot yet or will it not make any difference? Any help would be appreciated! Seems there is always something to worry about, either put her in moses basket/cot and worry about the risks of cot death, or keep her in with us and worry about the risk of smothering! its really not easy!!!

Most people around the world co-sleep with their babies. Health Visitors et al like to frighten you about it but there are guidelines that can be followed to make it safer. This is a good resource:

www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/familybed.html

I co-slept with one of mine, my other child didn't like it and wanted her own space (I think that's unusual!).

It's handy in winter, saves those cold trudges to the cot!

I co-slept from DD's second night and loved it. It was the only way I got any sleep. There are guidelines on safe co-sleeping here. If you're breastfeeding it reduces the SIDs risk further. Co-sleeping also increases your chance of continuing breastfeeding to 6 months.

Hiya, I went through this too. I read loads of the safe co-sleeping info you can get on line and the way we organised was; DH moved into the spare room( i didnt think our standard double was big enough for me to feel confident about not rolling onto DS with the 3 of us in bed), I wore loads of layer (vest, pjs, dressing gown) and used a thin blanket (the cotton baby blankets with holes are surprisingly warm). I slept on my side in the position shown on the kelly mom website. I remember that i did get a bit sore due to not moving much in my sleep. I also remember having that horrible worry before I went to sleep but I do think that bfing mums are very responsive to thier babies even when asleep.

The big no nos are- no duvet near baby, no pillow near baby ( tho you can have a pillow as baby is actually quite far down), no alcohol drunk by you or anyone else who is in the bed, you cant be a smoker, baby shouldnt be between 2 people- only next to mum.

We slept like this when Ds was between 5 and 8 weeks. After I gave him a dummy at 8 weeks he started to sleep more easily and moved into his cot. more recently he has desided that he doesnt like his cot so is back in with us. Now that he is 6months the fear of squashing him has reduced and we have put up a mesh bedrail to stop the possibility of him rolling out.

Co-sleeping can be really lovely, my advice would be to read around it, arrange it in such a way that you can relax as much as possible and then enjoy it. At its best co-sleeping has been a really magical and precious experience (though I do sometimes have a down day when it feels a bit overwhelming not even having my own bedspace!). HTH

I co-slept with DS1 from 2 weeks out of sheer desperation and consequently co-slept from birth with DS2 and DD.

There wasn't any specific advice regarding age when we did it but we were very cautious - we have a king size bed, we kept our pillows to the edges leaving a large gap in the middle. DC was head-to-headboard so above our covers and neither me nor DH smoked or drank.

Hi, thankyou all very much for replying! I will look at the safety guidelines again that you have linked to! DD ended up in our bed last night again, i really actually love waking up and seeing her tiny body snuggled into mine in the morning, i just wish i could make the paranoia go away! breast feeding is just so much easier aswell when she is next to me and i really think it helped me bond with her (traumatic long labour left me more than a bit disconnected from her at first) so i dont think i want to stop really. Its so lovly hearing all your ladies experiences with co-sleeping, makes me feel alot better so thanks! still have ordered a cot online as a just incase! :)