Toddler getting so upset about bed that she's sick!

[TartyMcFalalalalalalalalarty]

It isn't the first time this has happened, but last night, after the usual delaying tactics (bunny! brown bunny! baby! dolly! milky! snuggles!) I put 22 month old DD in her cot, awake. She screamed until I went back a (very) few minutes later, tried to settle her, then left the room again. She cried so hard that she was sick all over her self, bed and worst of all, special bunny which then had to be washed and dried (we do have a spare, but hadn't had a load to wash her with yesterday!) She finally got to bed with me at 10.15pm.

Frequently when DD wakes and we don't go to her immediately, she's sick. Being congested or having a cough can make her sick too - don't know if I ought to be more concerned about this in itself. CC is definitely not an option with her.

There have been fairly brief periods when she's suddenly decided to sleep through the night, but all it takes is a cold, and the night waking starts again. I generally have her in with me and DH sleeps in the spare room. DD seems to prefer it that way and DH works full time (I'm PT). Problem is, she's recently started demanding snuggles in our bed before her afternoon sleep and bedtime. This is just a delaying tactic - she's no happier to go to bed afterwards than before. She also wants milk through the night, probably because she's a terrible eater and is hungry.

I'm rambling here. Does anyone please have any suggestions rather than just waiting it out, which is my usual strategy? Should I be cutting out her daytime sleep? (Currently 2hrs).

I'm a big Elizabeth Pantley fan - no cry sleep solution for toddlers is good. Non cc, fluffy wuffy parenting, like me and you too

She is still wee and sleep 'ishoos' are pretty normal, so don't feel alone.

Thank you, that's one I considered a while ago and never got round to trying!

Tarty, my DD was exactly the same, we had sickness every time we tried to get her to sleep in her cot and I was sitting next to her cot for hours each evening trying to get her to sleep. Felt like I had no life in the evening and was getting really angry with her. In the end we gave up and we now co-sleep. She's 2 and half and sleeps in our bed every night ( we have a super king size bed!) she settles really well and doesn't wake up in the night so we all get a good night sleep. If she does stir, bad dream etc, then I can just stroke her back and she immediately goes back to sleep. It's not for everyone and I am made to feel like a terrible parent by people who think it's wrong. It's not what I wanted but it works for us now and I know that one day she'll decide that she doesn't want to sleep with us anymore (hope it's not when she's 13!!)

my DS was exactly the same. We did a gradual withdrawal technique (from the Millpond Teach Your Child To Sleep book, but am sure it's mentioned in other texts!) which took several months to move from holding him to sitting by the bed, then a couple of weeks from by the bed to out the room! He regressed a few weeks ago when he and I were both very unwell with flu/a cold in his case, and we are back on the chair moving out of the room slowly.

co-sleeping doesn't work for us anymore as DS is a wriggler who takes up most of the king-sized bed, but we've got him self-settling and occasionally sleeping through now (he's 26 months, we started sleep training at 22 months I think)

regarding the daytime nap, when does she have it? we were advised to keep his nap immediately after an early lunch (so 12/12.30-1.30/2) and that helped immensely once we started getting him down then, rather than after breakfast or later afternoon.

also, we had never had much of a strict routine, but do find that a close approximation to a routine has worked wonders. So up at 6.30/7, breakfast, lunch at 11.30/12, nap, dinner at 4.30/5, bath, story, bed - if anything disrupts it, he's a nightmare, sadly, as I am not very good at routine!