Night waking

[Fuzzled]

DS is 14mo and from about 10mo was in the liveable habit of waking once anytime between 2-4am.

I've been in hospital and while I was in, DH (very heavy sleeper) slept beside DS's cot so that he would hear him. DS was also a bit freaked out with me not being there, and refused to go to sleep without DH there.

Now, DS is still very clingy to me (understandable) but is now back in the self settling routine at bedtime. However, he now wakes at about 3am and refuses to go back to sleep unless he comes in with whoever is up to settle him (inflatable mattress beside cot).

I tried last night to do the settle and leave, but DS settled for 20 mins then woke, so did settle and leave, and he did 20 mins. Repeat ad infinitum until about 4.30 when he started screaming and screaming and screaming and I gave up as DH is working today and needed a good sleep.

Help?! How can I get him to sleep through? (or at least go back to the pat and settle we had before!)

This might not be very encouraging, but...
Both of mine have had sleep ishoos, and at 10 months both would wake regularly in the night. some things that helped some of the time were...
Drink of water / milk
Dream-feeding (don't know if you're still bfeeding?)
Holding their hands through the bars of the cot
Talking to them from the doorway

Having said that, my view is that babies throw you curve balls like this, and you can either get stressed out by it, or roll with it. Bring him in your bed / sleep with him if needs must - maybe getting a good nights sleep has to be the priority with a baby under 1. But then, I've always been a push-over at 3am!

Hi, have followed link from flying, first well done for getting through that lot on little sleep.

TBH I think what you did was the best thing, he needs to unlearn relying on you being there to re-settle after waking and learn new sleep cues, which yoiu have achieved at pre-bedtime routine.

To be blunt I would stick with this but withdraw gradually each time - controlled crying technique, modify it to suit you but as long as you stick to it and there is a gradual withdrawl.

It should take at least three nights to unlearn this and re-establish new sleeping cycles/patterns.

Could DH sleep downstairs so he disturbed less? or go for it at weekend maybe? Explain to him whatever it is you decided so he understands I know how things can get fraught (DH and I disagree on how to 'deal' with nightmares at the moment)

You parent, he child it for everyones good health so find your firm voice and get a littel tough if needed. HTH as it has worked for us int he past followinf a period of illness.